Insurgent from Four's POV
by Zariha321
Summary: This is the second book in the series told from Four's POV. I do my best to keep to the original story but tell it from a different perspective. Let me know what you think.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing!

Chapter 1

We bump along through the night. Everything that happened today barely seems real. But no nightmare could possibly be this bad.

Dauntless and Abnegation have fallen from the simulation attack. Any survivors from Abnegation will have gone into hiding. Dauntless is now broken into two factions, Dauntless traitors, and those of us that were violated and used against our wills. The traitors will have made their way back to Erudite since there is where their alliance is now. The rest will also have gone into hiding along with the Abnegation.

I sit and listen to the monotony of the train track and Tris' breathing as she sleeps. This would usually lull me to sleep with her, but I won't be sleeping any time soon. Not with two of the people I hate most in this train with us. I need to stay awake to protect her.

Tris is sleeping on my lap with her head buried in my chest. Every now and again I can feel her shudder, probably from a nightmare. I run my fingers through her hair and rub her arm to try to sooth her as best I can.

She saved me today. She brought me back from oblivion with her passion and love.

She also watched as both of her parents were killed right in front of her. They both died because they loved her. They had to save her life. They also had to help her to get to me so that she could shut down the simulation.

Caleb sits three feet away, glaring at me from time to time. I really don't care though. I am not going to back away from her because he is here. She is my life, the only thing that really matters to me.

I move Tris gently from my lap and lie her down so I can look out and see where we are. We should be nearing the fence now. It is almost time to get off the train to seek the sanctuary of Amity.

I squat in front of her and place my hand on her left shoulder to wake her. She is suffering from the physical and emotional pain of the day. She has a horrible pained look on her face when she looks up at me.

"Tris, come on," I say, searching her eyes. "We have to jump."

I take her left hand to help her stand and guide her to the doorway.

Peter, then Marcus, and finally Caleb jump from the train. I take Tris' hand and we jump together. She winces on impact with the ground.

She looks around, probably for Caleb. When she sees him she goes to him. "Okay?" she asks him. He nods at her but doesn't say anything more. He has lost both of his parents today too and his chosen faction was the reason.

We landed near the fence. I look around and the guards are gone. I go and gather Tris' hand into mine and walk toward the gate that enters Amity.

"There are supposed to be Dauntless guards here," Marcus says. "Where are they?"

"They were under simulation," I say, "and now…" I pause thinking about what happened today. "Who knows where, doing who knows what."

We managed to stop the simulation. But there is no way to know what happened to everyone once they woke up. The weight of the simulation, and what they did while under it will be weighing on them now. We didn't stop to see the aftermath. We don't know what's happened to any of our friends.

I walk toward a small metal box near the gate and open it to reveal a key pad.

"Let's hope the Erudite didn't think to change this combination."

I type in the numbers and with the last number, the gate clicks open.

"How did you know that?" Caleb asks.

"I worked in the Dauntless control room, monitoring the security system. We only change the codes twice a year," I explain.

"How lucky," Caleb says with a tone of sarcasm. He looks at me skeptically.

"Luck has nothing to do with it," I say flatly. "I only worked there because I wanted to make sure I could get out."

I was always weary of the fact that we were in this fenced in city and no one could really get out. Only the Amity were permitted beyond the fence.

We walk through the gate toward Amity. Tris and I walk in front, Caleb just behind, and Peter and Marcus in the rear. Peter is cradling his arm, I wonder who shot him.

XXX

After about a half mile, we see spots of light in front of us. The first signs of Amity headquarters. We walk through an orchard nearing the buildings and Marcus steps away from Peter.

"I know where to go," he says.

He leads us to a building on the left. He opens the door and we walk into the building. There is an open door at the other end of a long hallway. Marcus approaches the door and stops. Inside is Johanna Reyes, the Amity representative. She is a woman of average height and build. Her most distinguishing mark is the scar that runs from her eyebrow to lip, making her blind in one eye.

"Oh, thank God," she says when she sees Marcus. She walks toward him and touches his arm with her hand.

She looks at the rest of us, "Oh my," she says when she sees the blood on Peter's shirt. "I'll send for a doctor. I can grant you all permission to stay the night, but tomorrow, our community must decide together. And," she looks from me to Tris, "They will likely to not be enthusiastic about a Dauntless presence in our compound. I of course ask you to turn over any weapons you might have."

I reach under my shirt and get the gun that is tucked inside my belt. Tris also moves to gather her gun she has hidden in the small of her back but I stop her by taking her hand as it grazes mine. I lace my fingers with hers to try to cover up what she was doing. I am not ready to leave us completely unarmed with an entire faction of Dauntless and Erudite looking for us to kill us.

"My name is Johanna Reyes," she says extending her hand.

"This is T-…" Marcus starts, but I cut him off.

"My name is Four," I tell her. "This is Tris, Caleb, and Peter."

I refuse to allow him to introduce me as his son. The name Tobias was only spoken by Tris in our private moments when no one else was around. That name is for her to know only. To everyone else, I am Four, Dauntless prodigy, instructor, and sharp shooter, who capable of killing with my bare hands.

"Welcome to the Amity compound," she looks at Tris and smiles. "Let us take care of you."

XXX

She takes us to a nurse who gives me a salve to put on my gunshot wound to speed healing. Then nurse then takes Peter to the hospital to fix his arm. She leads the rest of us to the cafeteria where we see the Abnegation that were hiding with my father and Caleb. They greet Marcus with smiles and tears. He is after all an Abnegation leader.

Someone comes to Tris with a cup of a hot pink liquid, "Drink this. It will help you sleep as it helped some of the others sleep. No dreams."

She takes the cup and quickly drinks it down. It doesn't take long for the effects of the liquid to take a hold of her. She becomes heavy with sleep and can't stand any longer. I lift her into my arms and ask someone to lead us to our rooms for the night. I carry her into her room and lie her down on the bed and cover her with the blanket. I sit on the edge of the bed for a while just watching her sleep peacefully. I don't want to leave her here alone, but it would be inappropriate for me to stay. Especially since I know Caleb is watching.

I return to the cafeteria to eat. I doubt that I will be sleeping any time soon. I have to watch out for Tris and make sure we aren't ambushed by Dauntless traitors or Erudite.

I make my way back down to where our rooms are. Her room is right next to mine so I sit on the bed with my door open for a while just listening to the sounds. Eventually I shut the door and lie on the bed to await the morning and what the new day will bring.


	2. Chapter 2

I own nothing!

Chapter 2

I think I may have dozed off and on throughout the night. I guess even I am susceptible to exhaustion. I wake early, get a shower and change into the red shirt that has been left here for me. I will wear my own jeans, there is no way I am putting one red or yellow pants.

I walk to the cafeteria to see what they have for breakfast. I get a muffin and go to the hospital wing to see about some kind of pain killer for Tris. I'm sure she is going to be in pain when she wakes up.

I wait until seven o'clock to knock on her door.

"Come in," she says when she hears the knock.

I open the door and step into her room.

"The Amity are meeting in a half hour. _To_ _decide our fate_." I say mockingly.

She shakes her head. "Never thought my fate would be in the hands of a bunch of Amity."

"Me either. Oh, I brought you something." I unscrew the cap of the pain medicine I got for her this morning. "Pain medicine. Take a dropper full every six hours."

"Thanks," she says and squeezed the medicine into her mouth.

I lean against the door frame and hook my thumbs into my belt loops and look at her. "How are you, Beatrice?" I have never called her Beatrice before.

"Did you just call me _Beatrice_?" she looks amused.

"Thought I would give it a try," I smile. "Not good?"

"Maybe on special occasions only. Initiation Days, Choosing Days…" she stops. She has never had the chance to learn about Dauntless holidays.

"It's a deal." I say as my smile fades away. I can see that she is in more than physical pain and there is nothing that I can do to help her. "How are you,Tris?"

She takes a long time to answer, like she is going through her emotions in her head and can't seem to come up with the right words.

She shakes her head, "I'm… I don't know Four. I'm awake. I…" still shaking her head.

I walk over to her and place my hand on her cheek, one finger behind her ear. I tilt her face up and lean down to kiss her. The warmth of her lips on mine reminds me that in spite of everything happening, we are alive and together.

She takes hold of my arms and holds me there for a long time. I can feel the pain she is in. It almost feels like she is grasping on to me to help her forget.

"I know," I say. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

She stands there and looks at me. It almost seems like she has something that she wants to tell me, but either can't or won't. She looks worn down by all that has happened and I'm worried about her. I don't want her to be afraid to talk to me. I want her to know that she can open up to me about anything.

I release her and say, "I'll let you get ready."

XXX

I go back to my room. I don't want to wander off too far away from Tris. She is so vulnerable right now, I'm afraid the wrong words or the presence of the wrong person will cause her to shatter. She is strong but I know that but there is something wrong that goes beyond the loss of her parents. Beyond the loss of both factions that she called her home.

I busy myself by going to the cafeteria for something more to eat. People try to make small talk with me while I sit and eat, but I'm not really in the mood to discuss the weather or current harvesting techniques. No one talks about the attack or about what is going to happen to us.

Erudite has declared war and has proven that they are more dangerous than the most skilled sniper or knife thrower. Through the simulations, they are capable of controlling the entire city. I'm sure that they have people working around the clock to find a way around having to inject the serum into someone's neck. It won't be long before they find it and come to take over all the people that are in Amity and Candor, members and refugees alike. One thing is for sure, Jeanine is not going to rest until she has found a way to control everyone. And once she controls everyone, she will have the fortune and stature that she desires so desperately.

I take leave of the cafeteria, and return to my room. It is almost time to get Tris for the meeting. As I go to her room I meet Caleb in the hall. He looks at me skeptically as we both approach Tris' door. He hasn't saying anything yet, but he obviously does not approve of me or my relationship with his sister. But I really don't care what he thinks about it. I will be with Tris as long as she wants me.

XXX

I knock on her door and am surprised at what I see when she opens the door.

"You cut your hair," Caleb exclaims.

She looks beautiful as always. Short hair, long hair, I don't care.

"Yeah," she says. "It's too hot for long hair."

"Fair enough."

And that settles it.

We walk together toward the exit to go to the meeting hall. The air outside is heavy and humid, full of the fragrance of the orchard and other crops being grown around the compound. There is a part of me that loves the sights and sounds around me. It is friendly and full of kindness, two attributes that I have struggled with my whole life. I want to soak it up and learn from these people. I want to understand what makes it so easy for them to care so much about each other. We Dauntless care, but we also realize that we are not always going to get along with everyone. This is why public fights were common in the Dauntless compound. Although we don't condone killing, we do feel that it is best to deal with a disagreement than to ignore it. We walk silently, each caught up in our own thoughts.

Caleb breaks the silence, "Does everyone know you're Marcus' son?" he asks. "The Abnegation, I mean."

"Not to my knowledge," I scowl glancing at him. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it." I don't like questions, especially personal questions like that. I try to be curt but not cruel, something I struggle with frequently.

"I don't need to mention it. Anyone with eyes can see it for themselves." Caleb frowns at me again. "How old are you anyway?"

"Eighteen."

"And you don't think you are too old to be with my little sister?"

I snicker at this, "She isn't _your little_ anything." I glare at him, challenging him to say something more. My ability to stay controlled and even tempered is wavering. She is his sister, but I don't care.

"Stop it. Both of you." Tris scolds.

That puts an end to the sniping for the time being. I'm sure this subject is far from over however because Caleb continues to look at me like I have no right to be anywhere near her.

We enter the meeting hall and it is like nothing I have ever seen. The building is made of glass. The sunlight reflects off of every surface causing me to squint my eyes so that I can see. The doors are wide open allowing the fresh, humid air to waft through the greenhouse. Plants and trees grow all around and fans are everywhere blowing hot air around the room. In the center of the room grows a huge tree. Its roots are submerged in water as opposed to dirt, an Erudite technology allowing for this feat no doubt.

The Amity sit on the floor together and the Abnegation sit in tight rows close by. I place my hand on the small of Tris' back, careful to avoid her injured shoulder and guide her toward the back of the Abnegation. Before we sit down I bend down and whisper in her ear. "I like your hair this way."

She looks up at me and smiles a little. Then we take our places on the bench. She sits close and leans her arm on mine.

Johanna stands in the middle of the room and gestures for talking to cease. She stands with her arms raised and head bowed for what seems like a long time while she waits for the silence to spread across the room.

"We have before us today an urgent question," she says, "which is: How will we conduct ourselves in this time of conflict as people who pursue peace?"

All of the Amity begin talking at once to the people around them.

"How do they get anything done?" Tris asks.

"They don't care about efficiency," I explain. "They care about agreement. Watch."

It is an amazing sight. Every citizen is actively engaged in talking about the situation at hand. As I sit I can hear some of the discussions. They are all arguing their points, some quietly, some with more emotion. But all are involved.

"This is bizarre." Tris says.

"I think it is beautiful," I say. And I really do. People care more when their opinions matter and are heard.

She looks at me, confused.

"What?" I laugh. "They each have an equal role in government; they each feel equally responsible. And it makes them care; it makes them kind. I think that's beautiful."

"I think it is unsustainable," she says. "Sure, it works for Amity. But what happens when not everyone wants to strum banjos and grow crops? What happens when someone does something terrible and talking about it can't solve the problem?"

Those are very good questions. Everyone here can't possibly be mellow and relaxed about everything all of the time, can they?

I shrug, "I guess we'll find out."

We watch as each of the big groups continues to debate. Then slowly the big groups quiet and small groups form and continue to discuss the question posed to them. Eventually a member from each group approaches Johanna and they talk quietly.

"They're not going to let us argue with them, are they," she asks me.

"I doubt it."

This isn't our community; we are guests so we really don't have any right to argue as far as they are concerned.

Once the people in the front have discussed the situation, they all sit back with their groups. Johanna turns to address us.

"Our faction has had a close relationship with Erudite for as long as any of us can remember. We need each other to survive, and we have always cooperated with each other." Johanna continues, "But we have also had a strong relationship with Abnegation in the past, and we do not think it is right to revoke the hand of friendship when it has for so long been extended."

She talks kindly to the people in front of her. Not with a sense of authority that a leader might have, but like she is just one small part of a community. She knows her role and is happy to be the spokesperson for her people.

"We feel that the only way to preserve our relationships with both factions is to remain impartial and uninvolved. Your presence here, though welcome, complicates that."

Impartial? Are they serious? Don't they understand that Erudite enslaved an entire faction and used them to murder countless innocent people in the name of prosperity and wealth? Don't they understand that if Erudite succeeds in taking over, they will be little more than farmers providing for the mite and power of a faction that cares for nothing but riches? I can't help but think that if they allow us to stay that it will be very short lived.

"We have arrived at the conclusion that we will establish our faction headquarters as a safe house for members of all factions, under a set of conditions. The first is no weaponry of any kind is allowed on the compound. The second is that if any serious conflict arises, whether verbal or physical, all involved parties will be asked to leave. The third is that the conflict may not be discussed, even privately, within the confines of the compound. And fourth is that everyone who stays here must contribute to the welfare of this environment by working. We will report this to Erudite, Candor, and Dauntless as soon as we can."

Johanna's gaze locks on Tris and me, "You are welcome to stay here if and only if you can abide by our rules. That is our decision."

This is not going to work. There is no way that we will be able to stay here for long. There is too much tension between Marcus and me, and unless Peter completely changes and stays away from Tris that situation is going to erupt at some point also.

Tris turns to me to me and whispers, "We won't be able to stay long."

She is right, there is no way this place is going to offer us the security that we need. "No, we won't," I agree.


	3. Chapter 3

I own nothing!

Chapter 3

I leave the meeting feeling beaten down. There is no way we are going to ever find sanctuary anywhere. The only factions that had little use for Erudite and their technological advances were Abnegation and Dauntless. Abnegation was decimated and Dauntless is fractured. The Amity rely on Erudite for their technological advances in agriculture and therefore their livelihood and Candor are not much better that Erudite in many ways. They will also be reluctant to go against Erudite, fearing retaliation.

The meeting lasted hours; it is already time for dinner. I didn't realize we had been in there that long. Tris, Caleb, and I make our way silently to the Cafeteria to eat. None of us really speaks much. There isn't anything to say. Tris and I know that we will need to move on very soon. We will have to come up with some kind of plan. But right now I am so beaten down by everything that I'm too exhausted to think about much.

After we eat, we return to our rooms. Tris kisses me and retreats to her room and shuts the door. I am sure that she is struggling with something more than the death of her parents. There is something eating away at her that she hasn't been able to verbalize to me, but I know her. I know that her sullen manner extends much deeper than loss.

I back away from her door and enter my own. I have barely slept for days, so I take this opportunity to try to sleep. I know sleep is something that will not find me for a while though, not while I am under the same roof as Marcus.

There is a knock on my door; I expect that it is Tris coming to see me. But when I open the door, I am surprised to find Caleb standing there.

"Hello," he says.

Here we go, more ridicule about his sister I'm sure. I knew this conversation wasn't over. I move aside admitting him entrance to my room. I push the door shut and turn to look at him.

"I came to talk to you about, Beatrice," he says.

"What about Tris?" I ask.

"What is going on with you and my sister?"

Straight and to the point, just like an Erudite.

"What do you mean what is going on? Your sister and I are together, that what's going on."

"What do you mean by 'together'?" he asks.

I don't know why this is such a difficult concept for him, but I guess I'll have to spell it out for him.

"Tris, is my girlfriend. We have been dating for quite some time now. Really Caleb what did you think? I picked her up at the train. I kissed her and she slept on my chest on the train." I say.

"I don't know what I was thinking," he says incredulously. "And how did you meet? You said you work in the Dauntless control room, I'm sure she really didn't take to hanging out there."

I sigh, "I was her instructor for initiation. I'm the one who taught her to shoot a gun, throw knives, and fight. I'm the one who put her through her fears and helped her to understand and work through them."

"Do you make it a habit of dating your initiates?" he asks.

He is lucky that he is Tris' brother, because if he weren't I would pummel him for that comment.

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," I say growling at him. "Look Caleb, I appreciate that you are concerned for your sister. But make no mistake, no matter what you say or what great argument you think you have, I will be with her no matter what. Do you understand?"

"And what makes you think I'm going to settle for that? What are your intentions with my sister?"

"I am not messing around with her, if that's what you think. And I'm not looking for your approval or respect. I don't need you to grant your permission for me to date her."

"Maybe you do. I am the only family she has left. What makes you think that she won't break this off if I don't approve?"

"Let me ask you some questions now. When is the last time you looked at her? I mean really looked at her. Has she ever sought your approval for anything? Has she ever changed who she was because of your disapproval?" Caleb stands there and scowls at me. He has no answers for me because he knows that I'm right.

I continue, "Caleb, what is your best memory of your sister?"

He stops and thinks about this for a while. "Playing jumping games on the street on our way home from the bus after school," he says smiling.

"My best memory is climbing the Ferris wheel at the pier with her when we were playing capture the flag two days into initiation. The night I realized that I had feelings for her and could fall in love with her easily."

He looks at me as if contemplating that last sentence.

"Okay, what is your worst memory of her?" I ask now. I am not trying to make this a competition. I just am trying to illustrate what we have been through in such a short amount of time. And to help him understand the depth of my feelings for her.

He thinks again for a few moments. "When she used to ridicule me for being too selfless. She used to make me so angry because she couldn't stop asking questions when our parents were talking."

"My worst memory is that I had to throw knives at her the day after capture the flag. When I knew I had feelings for her, but had to hide it because I didn't want to scare her or cause her any grief with the other initiates. I knew her for three days at that point and I already was coming to grips with my feelings for her."

He looks at me first in shock then amazement.

"Did you hit her?"

"I nipped the cartilage on her ear because I aimed for it," I say.

"You can't do that, no one has that kind of aim!"

"I do." I say without elaborating.

"Prove it," he challenges.

"How would you like me to prove it? I don't have knives or a target," I say a little annoyed because he really is Erudite. They have to have everything proven to them at all times.

He gets up and leaves the room. Moments later he returns with a large chunk of cheese and a knife.

"Throw at this," he says.

I sigh, "You want me to prove my skill by throwing a butter knife at a hunk of cheese?"

"Well if you can't do it..." he challenges.

I snicker, this is almost humorous, "Give me the knife and put the cheese on the dresser. Where do you want me to hit it?"

He takes a marker out of his pocket and puts a small 'X' in the middle of the cheese.

I turn the knife over in my hand, breathe in- focus, exhale- release. And as always the knife finds its mark with ease, dead center where the lines that make up the 'X' cross.

He stares at me in disbelief. "I bet you can't do that again," he says.

Now I laugh, I have just turned into an experiment, something for him to observe and make conclusions about. But to humor him I retrieve the knife and do it again, this time with my left hand just to make a point.

"I want to try that!" Caleb declares.

I smirk as he goes to retrieve the knife from the cheese. He pulls his arm back and throws the knife and it sticks in the wall about a foot from the cheese.

I laugh, "No. Not like that!"

"What do you mean, 'not like that'? I imitated you perfectly," he says.

Now I really laugh, "You did not."

"Well, do it again, then."

I throw the knife just as the door opens. It's Tris, looking very confused. The knife finds its mark on the cheese in the same exact place as the last two times I threw it.

She looks from me, to the cheese, to Caleb, searching for some kind of explanation.

Caleb looks at Tris in disbelief, "Tell me he's some kind of Dauntless prodigy. Can you do this too?"

"With my right hand maybe," she says. "But yes, _Four_ is some kind of Dauntless prodigy. Can I ask _why_ you're throwing knives at cheese?"

I look at her when she says my nickname, Four. Caleb has no idea what my nickname means.

"Caleb came by to discuss something," I explain. "And knife-throwing just came up somehow."

"As it so often does," she says with a smile.

We look at each other smiling. This is the first time since all of this began that she has smiled. It is a beautiful smile. My heart flutters a little.

Caleb clears his throat. "Anyway, I should be getting back to my room. I'm reading this book about the water filtration systems. The kid that gave it to me looked at me like I was crazy for wanting to read it. I think it is supposed to be a repair manual, but it's fascinating," he pauses. "Sorry. You probably think I'm crazy too."

"Not at all," I say disingenuously. "Maybe _you_ should read that repair manual too, Tris. It sounds like something you might like."

"Maybe later," she says.

When Caleb leaves, she glares at me and I snicker.

"Thanks for that. Now he's going to talk my ear off about water filtration and how it works. Though I guess I might prefer that to what he wants to talk to me about."

"Oh? And what's that?" I say raising my eyebrow questioningly. "Aquaponics?"

"Aqua-what?" she asks.

"It's one of the ways they grow food here. You don't want to know."

"You're probably right, I don't," she says. "What did he come here to talk to you about?"

"You," I say. "I think it was the big-brother talk. 'Don't mess around with my sister' and all that."

I stand up and walk toward her.

"What did you tell him?"

I take her by the hand and begin to pull her toward me.

"I told him how we got together- that's how the knife-throwing came up," I say, "and I told him I wasn't messing around."

I wrap my hands around her hips, pulling her close to me. I press her gently against the door and kiss her.

Her left arm wraps around my waist and she pulls me tighter to her. Her hand makes its way under the back of my shirt and presses into the small of my back. Her hand is warm but it sends a chill through my body. I kiss her more passionately, my hands finding the bare skin just under her shirt at her waist. We are as one.

I pull back a bit and look at her. "This isn't what you came here for," I say.

"No."

"What did you come here for, then?"

"Who cares?" she says.

Her hand slides up my chest and into my hair. She pulls me back to her and kisses me even more passionately than before. I don't resist, but I know there is something that she came here to tell me. "Tris," I mumble against her cheek.

"Okay, okay."

She proceeds to tell me that she followed Marcus to the greenhouse and about the conversation that she overheard between him and Johanna. They were talking about the timing of the simulation and what sparked it. Johanna apparently asked a lot of questions that Marcus refused to answer or was very vague about. None of this surprises me though. Marcus has always liked to act like he knew all kinds of secret things to make himself seem more important than he really is. The thought of Marcus roaming around here throwing his self-important weight around makes me furious.

She ends her story and asks me, "Well, what do you think?"

"I think," I say carefully, "that it's Marcus trying to feel more important than he is." I really don't want to believe that Marcus has any information worth having.

"So… what? You think he's just talking nonsense?" she asks clearly not convinced. She thinks she heard something important. I don't want to frustrate her, but I think she is giving Marcus more credit than he deserves.

"I think there probably is some information the Abnegation knew that Jeanine wanted to know, but I think he's exaggerating the importance. Trying to build up his own ego by making Johanna think he's got something she wants and he won't give it to her."

"I don't…" she frowns. "I don't think you're right. He didn't sound like he was lying."

Her instincts are usually very good, but in this case I think she is wrong.

"You don't know him like I do. He's an excellent liar." I tell her.

"Maybe you're right," she says clearly not convinced. "But shouldn't we find out what's going on? Just to be sure."

I don't want to blow her off, but I'm not going to do anything dealing with Marcus right now.

"I think it's more important that we deal with the situation at hand," I say. "Go back to the city. Find out what's going on there. Find a way to take Erudite down. Then maybe we can find out what Marcus is talking about, after this is all resolved. Okay?"

I can tell that I have not convinced her that Marcus isn't worth our time. But I have at least convinced her that moving forward is important and we need to try to stop Erudite before they attack.


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing!

Chapter 4

I spend my morning in the Amity kitchen. As promised, we are working around the compound in return for the sanctuary of staying here. Everything is fine; I stay to myself and do what I've been instructed to do. This is until the Amity decided that they were going to start to give their opinions about the situation. Like they are going to be able resolve our conflict with Erudite or my issues with Marcus in the kitchen of their nice secure compound, unlikely. The more they talked, the more their opinions turned into meddling. And the more they meddled, the more angry I became, until I had finally had enough and burst out of the kitchen into the cafeteria where I knew Tris would be.

"What happened?" she asks me.

"In their enthusiasm for conflict resolution, the Amity have apparently forgotten that meddling creates more conflict," I exclaim. "If we stay here much longer, I'm going to punch someone, and it's not going to be pretty."

Everyone around us in the cafeteria looks at me as though they are scandalized, but I don't care. There is no way I can put up with an entire faction of people meddling in things that they don't know nor care to know about. These people are willing to allow the Erudite to do whatever they want to the rest of the factions, so long as they are able to take care of themselves. They all stare at me disbelieving.

"You heard me," I say and they all turn away from my glare.

"As I said, what happened?" Tris asks.

"I'll tell you later." I really don't want to get in to how they were attempting to provide solutions to the conflict with Erudite. Then they began to interfere in my relationship with Marcus. How dare they think that some simple words of forgiveness would ever make up for sixteen years of misery.

Some Abnegation come in and sit down near us and nod hello's. There really is something beautiful about each faction. The Amity believe that everyone should be happy and co-exist peacefully, Dauntless are brave, strong-willed, and spirited, Abnegation are selfless, polite, and caring, Candor are honest and true, and Erudite are intelligent and imaginative. There is something to appreciate about each, but right now I am longing for Dauntless. There is something remarkably calming about the Dauntless chaos and I miss it terribly.

Out of the corner of my eye I see him. He is striding toward our table. He places his hand on Tris' right shoulder. She winces from the pain that his ignorance brought her. I sit motionless, his presence angers me, nevertheless I can't seem to get over this fear… yet.

"She got shot in that shoulder." I say flatly, unmoving.

"My apologies," Marcus says. He lifts his hand and sits to Tris' left.

Anger is boiling inside of me, I don't like that he put is evil hand on her and I don't like that he is sitting next to her.

"Hello," he says.

"What do you what?" Tris spits the question at him. She has seen what he did to me as a child, and she hates him almost as much as I do.

"Beatrice," says Susan, "there's no need to…"

"Susan, please," says Caleb. Susan purses her lips and turns away at his scolding. Caleb read the article that was published by the Erudite about the cruelty of Marcus Eaton and Tris all but confirmed the story to be true on the train ride here.

I continue to sit frozen to my seat on Tris' right. Her hand is linked with mine, and it gives me comfort to know that she is on my side. She glares at him with such malice that I find that I am glad that stare isn't meant for me. It would break my heart if she ever looked at me like that. I have only ever seen her look at Peter and Eric like that. She can really be intimidating when she wants to be, although I'm sure Marcus doesn't see it that way.

"I asked you a question," she growls at him.

"I would like to discuss something with you," he says, he tries to sound calm, but the anger in him betrays him. It is the same sound that he would get before a beating was coming. That anger is always boiling just underneath the surface, but he only ever let the anger out on my mother, then me. He continues, "The other Abnegation and myself have discussed it and decided that we should not stay here. We believe that, given the inevitability of further conflict in our city, it would be selfish of us to stay here while what remains of our faction is inside that fence. We would like to request that you escort us."

I feel the shock that Tris expresses reflected across my own face but I quickly suppress it. I continue to stare at the table. I wish I could get over this fear. There is not another soul in the world that I'm afraid of, and it kills me.

Tris turns to me, "What do you think?"

Keeping my gaze on the table I say without emotion, "I think we should leave the day after tomorrow."

"Okay. Thank you," Marcus replies without another word. He gets up and moves to the other side of the table.

Tris moves closer to me, trying to comfort me. She skims my hand with her thumb under the table. She glances down the table toward him with a look of loathing and curiosity. I know she is thinking that whatever he had been talking to Johanna about is eating away at her. She believes that there is an untold story here and she wants to know what it is. She has good instincts, but I just can't let myself get involved with Marcus anymore than I have to.


	5. Chapter 5

I own nothing!

Chapter 5

I get up in the morning, shower, and get Tris for breakfast. We sit quietly while we eat and I can't help but feel that she is slipping away from me. She is here, she is with me, but her mind is scattered and there is something going on that she isn't telling me. She isn't letting me into whatever nightmare is haunting her day and night.

Following breakfast I need to go work in the kitchen, but I am trying to avoid it as long as possible. The thought of going back in there to listen to their "helpful" blathering is enough to make me want to beat them all to a bloody pulp. I really am going to need to leave by tomorrow as planned, or someone in this compound is going to feel my wrath for saying the wrong thing to me at the wrong time.

Tris tells me that she wants to take a walk in the orchard, so I kiss her. Again I can feel that she is here, but she really isn't completely here. She is hiding something from me. There is something that is bothering her, or that she is ashamed of that she won't tell me about. I'm starting to worry that I'm going to lose her, which is something that I just can't deal with. But I let her go, she needs some space and I need to go and work in the kitchen to make sure we keep our relations with the Amity as amicable as possible.

Once my shift is over, I check Tris' room, but she isn't there so I return to my own. I'm really worried about her. She has been spending a lot of time alone lately. There is a knock on my door, and when I open it I find Caleb and Susan standing in front of me. Great, I think, another heart to heart with Caleb. But I manage a smile and step aside permitting entrance.

They both sit on the edge of my bed while I lean on the dresser. I look at them quizzically as they both sit there and stare at me for a few long moments.

"Four," says Caleb, "I'm concerned about my sister."

I thought we worked this out with the knife throwing exhibition.

"Yes," says Susan. "I have been worried about her also. She is behaving strangely. She's not really eating, she wanders around the compound without a purpose, she isn't doing her shifts in the laundry like we agreed upon, and she just looks lost."

Only someone as selfless as an Abnegation would notice all of that. Most people are too self-involved to notice that much detail about someone else's mannerisms. I have noticed all of these things too, but I was hoping that it was my imagination.

"Four, I've also noticed that she isn't spending as much time with you either," says Caleb. "I don't mean to upset you; I just want to know if you have any idea about what is going on with her."

I know there is something going on with her, but I don't want to completely alarm Caleb.

"She watched both of your parents die right in front of her. How do you expect her to behave?" I say. "Look Caleb, I know you lost your parents too, but Tris was there for both. Your mother saved Tris from one of her worst fears. Then as they were escaping they were pursued by armed Dauntless under simulation. Your mother forced Tris to run while she ran into the middle of the Dauntless firing a gun to distract them so Tris could escape."

I let this image settle in for a moment. He looks horrified and I don't blame him.

"Did she tell you what happened? She hasn't spoken to me about it at all," Caleb whispers.

"No Caleb, she didn't have to. I was in the control room. There are cameras all over the city, that part I saw for myself. It took a while for me to remember all of the details about what was going on while I was under the simulation, but I remember it all now. I also witnessed your father's death. When they were coming to the control room, armed Dauntless tried to stop them. He ran down the hall opposite of the control room to distract the soldiers. He was able to kill them all, but not before receiving a mortal hit himself. She watched as that happened also."

I don't say anything for a few moments. Caleb sobs into Susan's shoulder as tears run down her cheeks.

"In a matter of a couple hours, she lost both factions that she loved, her parents, I almost killed her while under the simulation, and she almost killed me. She is working through an awful lot right now."

Caleb nods, there is nothing more to say about this. There is no need for me to worry him about my own personal fears. At some point she will open up to me, I know she will.

"You say you care her. You told me that you knew you could love her when you climbed the Ferris wheel after only knowing her for two days, could you tell me about that?" Caleb asks.

I'm not sure why he wants to know, but I'll give in to his Erudite curiosity this once.

"We were playing capture the flag. I was the team captain, but I always allow my initiates to make the plans and sort out the best strategies on their own. I have always believed that mental preparedness was the most important part of training." I explain. "While the other initiates were arguing about the best strategy, Tris took it upon herself to go to the Ferris wheel and climb. She wanted to seek higher ground in order to find the other team's flag. I followed her, not wanting to let her climb on her own. And while we climbed and talked and almost plummeted to our death, I realized that my feelings for her ran deeper than I had originally realized. And that some day, I could easily fall in love with her. Which I did."

This was the first time that I admitted to another person that I am in love Tris. So far she was the only one that I told.

He just looked at me for a long time. He seemed like he had more questions, but couldn't verbalize them. Then he stood, took Susan's hand and said good night. I guess I finally convinced him of how much I love his sister.

XXX

My door creaks open in the middle of the night. I open my eyes to see a small figure standing in my doorway. Tris

"C'mere," I say to her sleepily. I move over in to give her room to climb in. I watch her as she walks over to me. She is wearing nothing more than a long T-shirt that barely covers her butt. I can't help but think how beautiful she is and how I'm happy that she is mine.

She climbs into bed facing me, laying her head on my arm. "Bad dream?" I ask. I place my hand up to her cheek and brush her cheek bone with my thumb while I run my other hand through her hair.

She nods.

"What happened?"

She shakes her head. Whatever it was it terrified her but she doesn't want to talk about it. I just lay there and continue to brush her cheek with my thumb.

"Were alright, you know," I say. "You and me. Okay?"

She nods but looks so sad.

"Nothing else is all right." I whisper in her ear. "But we are." I desperately want her to know that whatever she is going through right now, we are going to be okay.

"Tobias," she says. She doesn't say any more. She brings her body closer to mine and kisses me. I bring my hand from her cheek, and brush it down the side of her body. I place my hand at her tiny waist, and then slide it down to her hip, then her thigh. I can feel the goose bumps on her leg. She brings herself closer to me and she wraps her leg around my waist. This action shocks me a little but I don't fight it.

Her body starts to move and pulse with mine as our passion becomes more intense and desperate. I continue to kiss her while I slide my hand back up her thigh. I caress her backside, hip, and slide my hand under her shirt. I press my hand tightly to the small of her back to bring her closer to me, and then I slide my hand up her spine. I can feel her shiver at my touch. Her shirt creeps up her body and I can feel her bare stomach on mine.

Our kisses become even more fervent and eager. I remove my mouth from hers and begin to kiss her jaw and neck as my hand finds the back of her neck. Her shirt is up around the bottom of her breasts now. She tightens her hands around my shoulders and I can feel them tremble. I know that if I don't stop soon, this is going to go farther than I think she is ready for. But the passion continues. I brush my hand across her right shoulder where her bandage is and that seems to jar her. She winces a little and backs away pulling the hem of her shirt back down.

She begins to cry. I'm not sure why she is crying. Is it the loss she is feeling? Does she feel bad for stopping? "Sorry," she sobs lightly.

I look at her sternly, "Don't apologize." I brush the tears from her cheeks.

Although I love her and I want her mind, body, and soul, I don't want her in this way. Not when she is distracted by all of the tragedy and whatever else is bothering her.

"I don't mean to be such a mess," she says through her sob. "I just feel so…" Her voice trails off. She doesn't have to say any more. Even though I don't completely know what is going on in her head, I know enough.

"It's wrong," I say. "It doesn't matter if your parents are in a better place- they aren't here with you, and that's wrong. It shouldn't have happened. It shouldn't have happened to you. And anyone who tells you it's okay is a liar."

Her whole body begins to tremble with the force of her weeping. I wrap my arms around her and hold her as tightly as I can without hurting her. Her weeping turns into a long inconsolable sobbing. Her body convulses with the force of her sobs and she feels fragile, like she could completely shatter if I let her go. I don't do anything or say anything but I lie with her, hold her tight and let her cry. I'm happy that she can let her guard down enough to let me see her like this and let me be strong for her. I want to take away all of her pain and worry.

Finally when she has calmed down, I speak. "Sleep," I say. "I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you."

"With what?" she asks.

"My bare hands, obviously."

She smiles a little and wraps her hand around my waist and takes a deep breath. Soon her breathing becomes shallow and rhythmic and I whisper, "I love you, Tris." I don't expect her to respond, I know sheer exhaustion has taken her.


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing!

Chapter 6

I wake the next morning happier than I've ever been. It felt wonderful to wake up with Tris in my arms. She stayed with me wrapped in my arms all night long. I lay there for a long time watching her sleep then decided to get up and get ready for the day.

I stand in front of the mirror with an electric razor, my head tilted up, and shaving when I see movement in the mirror.

She sits up and hugs her legs and just watches me without a word.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" I ask her without turning around.

"Okay," she says. She climbs off of the bed and comes up behind me. She wraps her arms around my waist, clasps her hands at my stomach, and presses her forehead into my back.

I sit the razor down and wrap my hands around hers. I stroke her hands as we stand there. She releases one of her hands and runs it over the top of my Dauntless tattoo that is probably sticking out of the top of my shirt.

"I should go get ready," she tells me.

"I'll get you something to wear," I tell her retrieving a pair of shorts to put on. She kisses me and walks down the hall toward her room.

I continue to shave and finish getting dressed when I suddenly hear Tris yelling at someone.

I race down the hall to find Tris fighting with Peter. An Amity man has a hold of her as she struggles to get at him. What has he done to her now? I have got to stop letting my guard down for even one moment with him around.

"Tris, calm down!" I tell her.

"He has the hard drive!" she yells. "He stole it from me! He has it!"

I walk over to Peter. I don't care about the people trying to help him. I press my foot into his rib cage to keep him in place. I reach into Peter's pocket and take out the hard drive. I stoop very close to him and growl, "We won't be in a safe house forever, and this wasn't very smart of you."

I turn to Tris, "Not very smart of you, either. Do you want to get us kicked out?"

The Amity man begins to drag her down the hall. She looks from me to him and starts to yell, "What do you think you're doing? Let go of me!"

"You violated the terms of our peace agreement," he says gently to her. "We must follow protocol."

"Just go," I tell her. "You need to cool down."

And I thought I would be the one to lose my cool and get into a fight with someone. I turn to the woman tending to Peter. "He needs to be reprimanded also," I tell her.

"It seems to me that he was the one being attacked," she says.

"I guarantee that her attack was provoked. He needs to be held accountable for his actions, just as she is being held accountable," I say sternly. I'm not a leader, but someone is going to have to step up here and start to take some kind of control.

XXX

After the fight, I take a walk out to the orchard. I just need to get out of that place. I think it is starting to wear on Tris and me both.

As I walk around, I hear Tris calling to me.

"Four!" she calls in a strange singsong voice. "Four! Where are you?"

"Tris?" I can hear her giggling. She never giggles.

She runs to me and almost falls over. I grab for her waist to steady her. She pulls herself close to me and stands on her tiptoes to kiss me.

"What did they…" I am cut off by her kissing me. I kiss her back, but there is obviously something wrong with her so I pull back quickly.

She sighs, "That was lame. Okay, it wasn't, but…" She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me again, but I stop her by putting my finger to her mouth.

"Tris," I say. "What did they do to you? You're acting like a lunatic."

"That's not very nice of you to say," she says. "They put me in a good mood, that's all. And now I really want to kiss you, so if you could just relax…"

"I'm not going to kiss you. I'm going to figure out what is going on," I tell her.

She pouts at me. She has never pouted at me like that! I don't know if I like this. Then she smiles like she has figured something out.

"_That's_ why you like me! Because you're not very nice either! It makes much more sense now," she says.

"Come on," I say exasperated. "We're going to see Johanna."

"I like you, too," she tells me.

"That's encouraging," I say trying to stifle my frustration. "Come on. Oh, for God's sake. I'll just carry you."

I pick her up with one hand on her back and the other under her knees. She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek. As I carry her she starts kicking her feet. What in the hell did they do to her? I move toward the building that Johanna works in.

She is sitting behind a desk when we enter. She looks up at me and her mouth falls open a little.

"You really shouldn't cover up your scar," Tris tells her. "You look prettier with your hair out of your face."

I plop her down a little harder than I probably should have. But this situation has me completely put off.

"What did you do to her?" I ask demandingly. "What in God's name did you do?"

"I…" Johanna frowns. "They must have given her too much. She's very small; they probably didn't take her height into account."

"They must have given her too much of _what_?" I demand.

"You have a nice voice," Tris says behind me.

Really? This has got to stop!

"Tris," I say as kindly as I can, "please be quiet."

"The peace serum." Johanna says. "In small doses, it has a mild, calming effect and improves the mood. The only side effect is some slight dizziness. We administer it to members of our community who have trouble keeping the peace."

I snort, so they aren't as loving and friendly as they would like everyone to think. "I'm not an idiot. _Every_ member of your community has trouble keeping the peace, because they're all human. You probably dump it into the water supply."

Johanna looks at me for a few moments. She folds her hands contemplating her response.

"Clearly you know that is not the case, or this conflict would not have occurred," she says. "But whatever we agree to do here, we do together, as a faction. If I could give the serum to everyone in the city, I would. You would certainly not be in the situation you are in now if I had."

"Oh definitely," I say. "Drugging the entire population is the best solution to our problem. Great plan."

I am really getting angry now. The idea of drugging everyone just to get along is no better than drugging them to kill innocent people.

"Sarcasm is not kind, Four," she says gently. "Now I am sorry about the mistake of giving too much to Tris, I really am. But she violated the terms of our agreement, and I'm afraid that you might not be able to stay here much longer as a result. The conflict between her and the boy- Peter- is not something we can forget."

"Don't worry," I say. "We intend to leave as soon as humanly possible."

"Good," she says. "Peace between Amity and Dauntless can only happen when we maintain our distance from each other."

Well, the truth comes out. I knew they were purposely not helping us for a reason. Amity and Dauntless have never really gotten along very well.

"That explains a lot."

"Excuse me," she says. "What are you insinuating?"

"It explains," I continue through gritted teeth, "why, under a pretense of neutrality- as if such a thing is possible!- you have left us to die at the hands of the Erudite."

She looks out the window as if she is contemplating her next word carefully.

"The Amity wouldn't do something like that," Tris says. "_That's_ mean."

"It is for the sake of peace that we remain uninvolved-" Johanna says.

I cut her off. My veins are pulsing with fury now more than ever. "_Peace._" I seethe, "Yes, I'm sure it will be very peaceful when we are all either dead or cowering in submission under the threat of mind control or stuck in an endless simulation."

"The decision was not mine to make," she says. "If it was, perhaps we would be having a different conversation right now."

"Are you saying you disagree with them?"

"I am saying that it isn't my place to disagree with my faction publically," she continues, "but I might, in the privacy of my own heart."

"Tris and I will be gone in two days," I say. "I hope your faction doesn't change their decision to make this compound a safe house."

"Our decisions are not easily made. What about Peter?"

"You'll have to deal with him separately," I say. "Because he won't be coming with us."

I walk over to Tris and take her hand. We turn to walk out of the office.

"Four," Johanna says. "If you and your friends would like to remain… untouched by our serum, you may want to avoid the bread."

I thank her as we leave. No wonder the serum left Tris unfazed; she didn't like the taste of the bread, so she refused to eat it.

We make our way back to the building that our rooms are in. Tris is giggly and silly the entire time which has me completely on edge. I just want to get her back to her room and wait until this serum wares off before I talk to her about what is going on here. Hopefully she will be able to remember some of the conversation between me and Johanna.


	7. Chapter 7

I own nothing!

Chapter 7

I drop Tris off in her room to wait for the serum to wear off. She is no good to anyone this way. I go about my business of the day. I go around talking to the Abnegation, letting them know that we will be leaving in two days if they choose to come with us, and avoiding Marcus in the process.

I go in and check on Tris every hour, it takes five hours but the serum has finally worn off. The last time I walk into her room, she is sitting on the edge of her bed scowling at the wall.

"Thank God," I say when I see that she is finally back to normal. I press my forehead to the door, "I was beginning to think it would never wear off and I would have to leave you here to… smell flower, or whatever you wanted to do while you were on that stuff."

"I'll kill them," she says. "I will _kill_ them."

"Don't bother. We're leaving soon anyway," I tell her closing the door behind me. I take the hard drive from my pocket, "I thought we could hide this behind your dresser."

"That's where it was before," she tells me.

"Yeah, and that's why Peter won't look for it here again." I pull the dresser away from the wall and wedge the hard drive behind it.

"Why couldn't I fight the peace serum?" she asks. "If my brain is weird enough to resist the simulation serum, why not this one?"

"I don't know really." I sit down on the bed next to her. "Maybe in order to fight off a serum, you have to _want_ to."

"Well obviously I wanted to," she says unconvincingly.

I really think that she didn't want to fight it off. I think she needed some time to feel happy and not have to think about all of the bad stuff that is happening around us. There are things she still isn't telling me, there are my issues with Marcus, and this war that are fighting to break us both down completely.

"Sometimes, people just want to be happy, even if it's not real." I tell her.

"You might be right," she admits quietly, almost to herself.

"Are you _conceding_?" I act as though I'm shocked. "Seems like that serum did you some good after all…"

She shoves me as hard as she can, she barely moves me. "Take that back. Take it back now!" she demands.

I laugh and put my hands up in mock surrender, "Okay, okay! It's just… I'm not very nice either, you know. That's why I like you so…"

"Out!" she points at the door.

I laugh and kiss her on the cheek and leave the room.

XXX

Later I go to get Tris for dinner, but she isn't in her room. I swear she is spending more time hiding out than ever. So I go to dinner alone.

I'm sitting with Caleb and Susan when Tris comes running into the cafeteria out of breath.

"Erudite," is all she said.

"Coming here?" I ask.

She nods.

"Do we have time to run?" I ask.

She looks at me as though she doubts that we have enough time to get out.

"Why do we need to run?" asks Susan. "The Amity established this place a safe house. No conflict allowed."

"The Amity will have trouble enforcing that policy," says Marcus. "How do you stop conflict without conflict?"

Susan nods.

"But we can't leave," says Peter. "We don't have enough time. They'll see us."

"Tris has a gun," I say. "We can try to fight our way out."

I start toward the door when I hear Tris say, "Wait, I have an idea. Disguises. The Erudite don't know for sure that we're still here. We can pretend to be Amity."

"Those of you who aren't dressed like the Amity, should go to the dormitories then," Marcus agrees. "The rest of you, put your hair down; try to mimic their behavior."

I agree and nod to the Abnegation that are sitting around in grey to go change their clothes. We run out of the cafeteria to our rooms where we also put on the Amity colors. I stand outside of the rooms, shoving Abnegation clothes into trash bins.

"Do you think the Amity will lie for us?" Tris asks me.

"To prevent conflict?" I say. "Absolutely."

Tris has on red pants with a red shirt and I wear a red collared shirt and jeans that are fraying at the knee. I feel ridiculous, but I am not putting on red or yellow pants. I try to pull the collar up in the back to hide my tattoos.

"Nice shirt," Tris says smiling.

I scowl at her, "It was the only thing that covered up my neck tattoo, okay?"

I take Tris' hand and lead her into the dormitory.

"I didn't think our faction would be that stupid," I say. "You have the gun, right?"

"Yes," she says. She sounds nervous and that worries me. "But there's no guarantee I can fire it with any accuracy with my left hand."

"You should work on that," I tell her. I am always the teacher, I can't help it.

"I will," she says. "If we live."

I really don't like that last comment. I turn to her, and skim my finger tips down her bare arms. "Just bounce a little when you walk," I tell her, kissing her forehead, "and pretend you're afraid of their guns," I kiss her between her eyebrows, "and act like the shrinking violet you could never be" a last kiss on the cheek, "and you'll be fine."

"Okay," she says. She grasps the collar of my shirt and pulls me down to kiss her.

A bell rings summoning everyone to the cafeteria. We join the crowd and help people to blend in more with the Amity as best we can. Tris tells a woman to have the children run around and play and she pulls Susan's hair from her bun. I talk to Caleb and we attempt to pal around and try to act like Zeke and I normally would. Tris and Susan entwine their arms and giggle like they are telling jokes. Most of them are doing a good job trying to blend.

Two Dauntless traitors guard the dining hall doors. I don't like this at all. We are all being brought into one room with armed guards roaming around the perimeter. If we are found out, we will be shot.

I sit across a table from Tris and she looks worried. She and Susan are trying to keep up the silly girls routine, they must be convincing because the guards don't even look at them.

Someone bangs on a table and Johanna begins to speak, "Our Erudite and Dauntless friends are looking for some people. Several members of Abnegation, three members of Dauntless, and a former Erudite initiate." She smiles, "I told them that the people that they are looking for were, in fact, here, but have since moved on. They would like permission to search the premises, which means we have to vote. Does anyone object to a search?"

Her voice asks the question, but her tone says that it is a question that should not be responded to. After a few moments, Johanna nods to the Erudite woman.

"Three of you stick around," the woman says. "The rest of you, search all the buildings and report back if you find anything. Go."

The three guards that stay walk slowly around the room. They spend time looking everyone over. They don't even notice Tris or any of the others, but one of them stops on me. I am too proud, I sit too straight.

"Your hair is pretty short for an Amity," she says.

"It's hot," I snap. I shouldn't have said it like that, but I am fuming right now.

The woman touches my collar and I feel her push it down, revealing my tattoos.

I grab the woman's wrist and pull her forward so that she hits her head off of the table. She falls to the ground. Somewhere across the room a gun goes off and everyone around me dives under the tables. I yank the woman to her feet, I have her gun in one hand and I'm using her as a shield.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Tris still sitting at the table. She isn't moving, she looks terrified like she is in another place. She has frozen. Whatever happened to her, has affected her more than I realized.

"Tris," I yell at her, trying to snap her out of her daze. "A little help here?"

She stands and grabs for the gun but she freezes again. One of the guards is closing in on her. Caleb jumps at her and grabs the gun. He points it and shoots the man in the leg. I turn and shoot the guard in the head.

I still have the Dauntless woman over my shoulder, but I turn on the Erudite woman and point my gun at her. "Say another word," I say, "and I'll shoot." The woman stands silently with her mouth open.

"Whoever's leaving with us should start running," I yell.

All of the Abnegation stand and run toward the doors. Caleb grabs Tris by the arm and drags her with him. Then I see the Erudite woman with a small gun in her hand, she points it toward where Tris and Caleb are. I raise my gun to shoot. The woman shoots her gun and Tris pushes the man in front of her to the ground, it would have hit him if she hadn't.

"Put the gun down," I command as I point the gun that I'm holding at her. "I have very good aim, and I'm betting that you don't."

She lowers her gun and I walk toward the door with Tris and the others. The man she just saved was Peter. Why would she save him? Unless she didn't realize that it was him that she was saving. As I walk out of the room I slam the door and we all start running.

We hear car doors slamming as we run into the orchard. I find Tris' hand and hold on to her, pulling her faster. We run toward the corn field, but the cars are now right on us. "Split up!" someone yells, it sounded like Marcus. Everyone scrambles and I see Tris grab Caleb's arm so he doesn't get separated from us.

There are screams and gunshots everywhere. The Abnegation are dying again and there is nothing that I can do about it. I keep pulling Tris, Caleb, ands Susan behind me. The corn stalks whip our faces and make it difficult to see where we are going but we keep running for our lives.

We finally make it to the fence. I release Tris' arm and begin running along the perimeter, looking for a hole or another way through. I finally find one and push it open for Tris, Susan, and Caleb to squeeze through. Tris stops and looks behind us. The car lights can still be seen, but there are no more noises, no more screams, no more gun shots.

"Where are the others?" whispers Susan.

All Tris say is, "Gone." And Susan starts sobbing.

I pull Tris close to me and start walking. I decide that it is best if we stay away from the dirt road. I lead us to the train tracks and start walking toward the city.

"I have to… stop…" says Susan. She collapses to the ground, crying. Caleb tries to comfort her.

I turn to look at Tris. She looks lost, like the whole world is on her shoulders and she is ready to crumble.

"What was that, Tris?" I ask her.

"What?" I say weakly.

"You froze! Someone was about to kill you and you just sat there!" I didn't realize it at first, but I'm yelling now. I'm furious that she didn't even move to save her own life. "I thought I could rely on you at least to save your own life!"

"Hey!" says Caleb. "Give her a break, all right?"

"No," I say, trying to calm down a bit. I stare into her eyes trying to see something. "She doesn't need a break." I soften my voice a bit, "What happened?"

Now I'm really worried because what I see in her eyes is someone that is broken. I don't see the strong, stubborn, fierce Dauntless woman that used to be seen in those eyes. I see a battered and bruised Abnegation girl who froze when her life was in jeopardy. I want to believe in her strength and her ferocity to stay alive. Right now, I just don't see it and that terrifies me.

"I panicked," she says. "It won't happen again."

I study her face and raise my eyebrow at her.

"It won't," she says trying to sound convincing.

"Okay," I say. I don't believe her. Now more than ever I'm convinced that something happened beyond her parents' deaths that she isn't telling me, and it is eating her up inside. "We have to get somewhere safe. They'll regroup and start looking for us."

"You think they care about us that much?" Tris asks.

"Us, yes," I say. "We were probably the only ones they were after, apart from Marcus, who is most likely dead."

I don't know whether I should be relieved, sad, or angry that Marcus is probably dead. But I really don't have any feelings about it right now. May when it is confirmed I'll have some feelings about it, but for now we need to walk.

"Tobias," Tris says. But she says nothing more. She just looks at me.

"Time to go," I say and start walking again.


	8. Chapter 8

I own nothing!

Chapter 8

We follow the tracks into the city; it is the best way I know to find the way to where we need to go. I balance on the rails, Tris hops from tie to tie, and Susan and Caleb lag behind us. We continue on until I feel a vibration in the rail. Tris bends down and puts her hand on the rail, she turns, and listens for which direction the train is coming from.

"It's coming," she says. She stands and brushes her hands on her pants. That is a nervous habit that she has. It kind of makes me smirk because it is one of those things that I know about her that no one else does. Also I think it is a cute habit. "I think we should get on," she continues.

"Even if it is run by Erudite?" says Caleb.

"If the Erudite were running the train, they would have taken it to the Amity compound to look for us." I say, "I think it is worth the risk. Well be able to hide in the city. Here we're just waiting for them to find us."

We step back from the tracks awaiting the train that will take us somewhere that is less dangerous than here hopefully. Caleb tries to give Susan step by step instructions about how to jump on the train.

The train arrives and we begin to get on. Caleb helps Susan on, then jumps in himself. Tris jumps on next and Caleb pulls her in, then I jump in last. This is something that I have always been good at for some reason. Although most of the Dauntless lifestyle came easily to me for some reason. Once I enter, I realize that we may have some trouble; there are people on this train, factionless.

XXX

I pull my gun and Caleb follows my lead. All of the factionless are also armed. We could be in real trouble here. I do have a way out, but I don't want to have to use it unless completely necessary.

"I've never seen Amity armed before," says a woman holding a knife.

There is a man holding a gun, pointed right at my head. He looks familiar. He wears the various colors of the factions, and has an eye patch. He is that initiate that got stabbed in the eye during Tris' initiation.

"They aren't Amity," he says. "They are Dauntless."

Edward, his name is Edward. I remember just before Tris says, "Hello, Edward."

He inclines his head without lowering his gun, "Tris."

"Whatever you are, you'll have to get off this train if you want to stay alive," says the woman.

"Please," says Susan, she is ready to cry. She can't handle all that has happened, Abnegation does not prepare you for having to run for your life. "We've been running… and the rest of them are dead and I don't…" She starts full on crying now, "I don't think I can keep going."

Caleb say, "We're running from the Erudite. If we get off, it will be easier for them to find us. So we would appreciate it if you let us ride into the city with you."

The rantings of these two aren't going to convince anyone of anything. I think I am going to have to reveal something about myself that I really don't want to. I have not even had the chance to tell Tris yet. She is going to be furious with me for hiding things from her.

"Yeah?" Edward looks at Caleb, "What have you ever done for us?"

"I helped you when no one else would," says Tris. "Remember?"

She had helped him after Peter stabbed him in the eye. She calmed him down and kept him safe until the nurse got to the dorm.

"You, maybe. But the others? Not so much." Edward says.

Well it looks like I'm going to have to do this. I'm going to have to tell them who I am or we are going to get shoved off of this train.

I step up to Edward, the barrel of his gun is on my throat.

"My name is Tobias Eaton. I don't think you want to push me from this train."

It had the immediate effect that I anticipated. Everyone lowers their weapons and looks at me, shocked. They then begin to look at each other. Tris looks at me in a questioning manner and I mouth that I'll tell her later.

"Eaton? Really?" Edward says. "I have to admit, I did not see that coming." He clears his throat, "Fine you can come. But when we get to the city, you've got to come with us."

He smiles at me. "We know someone who's been looking for you, Tobias Eaton."

XXX

I take Tris and we sit on the edge of the train with our legs hanging out.

"Do you know who it is?" she asks me.

I nod. Of course I know, I've known for a while now.

"Who then?"

"It's hard to explain," I tell her. "I have a lot to tell you."

She leans into me. I thought she might be mad that I had a secret from her, but she doesn't seem mad. All she says is, "Yeah. So do I."

XXX

It's time to jump from the train, and Susan isn't too happy about it. Tris convinces her and they jump together, but Susan doesn't land well. My Tris has always been able to jump from the trains with little problem, even when injured. Susan has a scraped knee, otherwise she seems just fine.

We follow Edward through the streets, Susan crying and Caleb comforting her. I walk next to my brave girlfriend. I touch her shoulder lightly, remembering that I have not taken a look at how it is healing for a while now.

"It's been a while since I checked that shoulder," I say to her. "How is it?"

"Okay, I brought the pain medicine, luckily." Tris says. "I don't think I'm letting it heal very well. I keep using it or landing on it."

"There will be plenty of time for healing once all this is over." I tell her.

I'm trying to be positive, but the realization is we may never heal. I can't help but wonder if we are both going to come out of this alive. She is deathly afraid to hold a gun and can't protect herself because of it. I really wish I knew what happened to make her afraid to hold a gun. We have two factions that want to see us dead. And depending on how this meeting goes, it could all be over soon.

"Here," I say to her, handing her a small knife. It isn't much, but it's better than nothing. She has a nervous look on her face despite her desperate attempt to stay cool.

We are lead through the streets to a crumbling building. When we enter the building, we see that it is a factionless store house. They have created their own community, their own faction in spite of being thrown out of their other factions. They have created a place where everyone could belong and it didn't matter where they came from. I always knew that the factionless wouldn't follow the rules of the factions. The factions threw them out and left them to fend for themselves. They took the comradery of being factionless and turned it into a community. I always knew there was something beyond the factions, something out there that might be better than being tied to one way of thinking… even before _she_ sent me the cryptic message.

"Come on," Edward says. "She's back here."

I haven't seen her for months. She sent me a cryptic message just before initiation started; she wanted to meet with me. Until that point, I had not seen her since she supposedly went to the hospital and died, before her apparently fake funeral. I didn't understand why I was never permitted to see her in the hospital or after she died. I only ever saw a closed casket and mourning people, who were all apparently either part of the ruse or were just as hoodwinked as I.

The anger started boiling inside me at the thought that this woman, left. And worst of all, she left me with him. He abused her too, and she allowed me to be abused right along with her. She never tried to stop him when he would starve me and lock me in a cupboard. She never did anything to save me, even when she escaped him. She could have saved me. She could have taken me with her. But I had to endure an additional seven years of abuse before going to Dauntless.

"What's going on here? Why are you all together like this?" Tris asks Edward. I guess she never imagined that the factionless would create their own community.

"You thought they- we- were all split up?" Edward smirks. "Well, they were, for a while. Too hungry to do much of anything except look for food. But then the stiffs starting giving them food, clothes, tools, and everything. And they got stronger and waited. They were like that when I found them, and they welcomed me."

We continue down a dark hallway to a back room. We stop at a metal door and Edawrd pounds on it.

"Wait, you said they were waiting?" asks Caleb. "What were they waiting for, exactly?"

"For the world to fall apart," Edward answers. "And now it has."

The door opens and a cruel looking woman with a lazy eye stands in front of us. "Strays?" she asks.

"Not hardly, Therese. This is Tobias Eaton." Edward points over his shoulder toward me.

The woman stared at me for a few moments and said, "He certainly is. Hold on."

She closes the door and we stand and wait. I am becoming more apprehensive by the moment. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this woman that abandoned me. Hate just isn't a strong enough emotion right now. There is a combination of hatred, anxiety, concern, and terror boiling up inside me, ready to explode. The worst part is Tris sees my troubled demeanor and she knows that there is something that I have not told her. Not because I've been trying to hide it, but because I just never really found the right time to tell her. This is just one of a long line of secrets we seem to be keeping from each other, either to try to protect the other or because we can't admit our wrongs. Either way it could be bad.

"You know who she's going to get, don't you," Caleb asks.

"Caleb, please shut-up," I tell him quietly.

Surprisingly he does not ask anything more. I'm kind of glad that I intimidate him so much. Otherwise who knows when he would stop the questioning.

The door opens to admit us into the room. We are lead through a maze of rooms and hallways to another set of metal doors.

My mother sits behind a desk. She has a look of authority about her. I reach down and take Tris' hand in mine and hold tight. I feel like all of the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. I try to steady myself while I see Tris look from my mother to me and making the connection quickly. She saw the woman in my fear landscape and the look on her face told me that she recognized her but didn't know why. She is about to find out.

"Evelyn," I say.

Tris now knows who this woman is, and she loosens her grip on my hand. This makes me feel horrible. I need her strength now more than ever.

"Hello," Evelyn says. She walks around the table and begins looking me over. This makes me even angrier. "You look older."

"Yes, well the passage of time tends to do that to a person." I say coldly.

I'm not looking for a happy reunion here. When she came to me months ago, she wanted me to join them, and I was considering it once initiation was over and that was just because of the sense of duty I felt toward Amar and his quest to save Divergents from the fate that ended up being his.

"So you've finally come…" Evelyn begins.

"Not for the reason that you think," I stop her from continuing. "We were running from Erudite, and the only chance of escape we had required me to tell your poorly armed lackeys my name." As I speak, I feel the anger build until it is boiling over and I can't control my tone any longer.

She continues to smile, "I see. Introduce me to your fellow refugees then."

Her eyes glide over each of us then down to my and Tris' joined hands. I release her hand and gesture to her first.

"This is Tris Prior. Her brother, Caleb. And their friend Susan Black."

Evelyn looks at Tris, "Prior, I know several Priors, but none of them named Tris. Beatrice, however."

Tris has a very protective, defensive posture and tone to her voice. She is sizing the situation up quickly. Just one more of the things that I love about her. She is perceptive, wickedly smart, and absolutely gorgeous, especially when you can see the fire in her eyes.

"Well," Tris says. "I know of several living Eatons, but none of them are named Evelyn."

"Evelyn Johnsoon is the name I prefer. Particularly among a pack of Abnegation."

"Tris is the name I prefer. And we're not Abnegation. Not all of us, anyway."

Evelyn looks from Tris, back to me, "Interesting friends you've made."

"Those are population counts?" asks Caleb looking at the paper on Evelyn's desk. He steps forward, "And those are what? Factionless safehouses?" He points to the lines on the chart. "I mean, these are places, on the map? They're safe houses, like this one, right?"

"That's a lot of questions," says Evelyn. She looks at him distastefully. "For security purposes, I will not answer any of them. Anyway, it is time for dinner."

She motions for us to move toward the door. I follow behind Tris, Evelyn walks up behind me.

"I'm not stupid," she says to me. "I know you want nothing to do with me- though I still don't quite understand why."

I snicker at her. I she serious? She abandoned me with a sadistic abuser, faked her own death, and left me to be beaten and tortured for seven years before I could get myself out.

"But," she continues, "I will extend my invitation again. We could use your help here, and I know you are like-minded about the faction system."

"Evelyn," I retort. "I chose Dauntless."

"Choices can be made again."

"What makes you think I am interested in spending time anywhere near you?" I stop to look at her and through my anger I can see that Tris has slowed her pace to stay with me.

"Because I'm your mother. Because you're my son." Evelyn looks like she is ready to cry, but I just don't care. How dare she choose now to be a mother? She could have been a mother numerous times over the past nine years and she chose not to be. It wasn't until my success in Dauntless that she sought me out for help.

"You really don't get it. You don't have the vaguest conception of what you've done to me." I am to the point now that I am beyond angry. My hands are trembling from the fury that I am feeling inside of me, I can't see around the edges, only her. The woman that abandoned me, the woman that never made sure that I was being taken care of, the woman that never looked back once she left. "I don't want to join up with your little band of factionless. I want to get out of here as quickly as possible."

"My little band of factionless is twice the size of Dauntless," she tells me. "You would do well to take it seriously. Its actions may determine the future of this city." She storms past me then Tris angry but with a knowing smirk.

Twice the size of Dauntless? I never considered that there would be so many factionless, but it does make complete sense. She has now made me think, and I think that having the factionless on our side might be a good idea.

I look toward Tris, I know she has heard this entire exchange. I don't know why I never told her about Evelyn, I guess I could have told her at any point on the train ride here, or while we were walking to get here. But I kept my secret, and she knows now. But she has been keeping her secrets too. I know she is still hiding something, and it is not about the death of her parents. For some reason she can't or won't confide in me, and I have no idea why. She is the only person I have ever trusted with my secrets and she won't trust me in return.

"Why did she leave Abnegation?" Tris asks me.

"She had an affair. And no wonder, since my father…" I just shake my head.

"Well, let's just say Marcus wasn't any nicer to her than he was to me."

"Is… that why you're angry with her? Because she was unfaithful to him?"

"No," I say this a little too harshly. I am pretty angry right now and Tris knows how much I hate too many questions. I try to ease my tone a little and say, "No, that's not why I'm angry."

I would think it would be obvious why I would be angry with Evelyn for leaving me with Marcus, but I guess Tris just isn't seeing it. She walks toward me slowly and cautiously. "Then why?"

"She had to leave my father, I get that," I say quietly. "But did she think of taking me with her?"

"Oh, she left you with _him_."

"Yeah," I say, looking down at the floor. I kick at the floor and don't look up, "She did."

And here is where she finally discovers why I am so irreplaceably damaged. I don't show emotions well, I don't trust easily, and I am guarded with even my closest friends. She takes my hand and I lace my fingers with hers. We stand there silently for a while. She doesn't ask any more questions and I appreciate that she understands me enough to not question me anymore.

I start to think more about what Evelyn said to me before she walked away. The factionless are twice the size of the Dauntless. Many of these people are former Dauntless, either people who are too old for the compound or people that were forced to leave because they didn't make the cut. None the less, most of them have at least learned how to fire a gun and fight.

"It seems to me," I say after a long pause, "that the factionless are better friends than enemies."

"Maybe," she responds. "But what would the cost of that friendship be?"

I shake my head. She may very well be right. What would be the cost of helping the factionless? What would they do to the people in the factions? I don't necessarily believe that people should have to belong to one faction. I have always strove to follow all of them in my own life, but what will it do to the people of the factions?

"I don't know," I say shaking my head again. "But we may not have any other option."


	9. Chapter 9

I own nothing!

Chapter 9

We meet up with everyone else around the fire. The factionless all sit around a fire with forks or spoons. They use the fire to heat their food and they share everything. One person has a can of soup, they take a spoonful and pass the can to me on their left. Then I am to take a bite and pass it to Tris. It kind of disgusts me, but I'm hungry and need to eat something.

Edward comes over and sits on the other side of Tris and begins asking her questions.

"So you were all Abnegation, huh?" he asks.

"We were" she says. "But obviously Tobias and I transferred, and…" she pauses for some reason, then continues. "Caleb and Susan are still Abnegation."

"And he's your brother. Caleb," he says. "You ditched your family to become Dauntless?"

I wonder why he feels the need to get all of this information from her. He continues to ask questions about Tris' family, and then Therese chimes in. Tris is starting to get more and more annoyed. But she is smart and she turns the questioning around on Edward and his friend Therese.

"Are many of you from Erudite?" Tris asks.

Therese responds, "Most are from Dauntless, actually. Then Erudite, the Candor, then a handful of Amity. No one fails Abnegation initiation, though, so we have very few of those, except for a bunch who survived the simulation attack and came to us for refuge."

So, this is where most of the Abnegation came following the attack. We had wondered where they had gone and if any had survived. It is good to know that there are still some Abnegation around to carry on their beliefs.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised about Dauntless," Tris responds.

"Well, yeah. You've got one of the worst initiations, and there's the whole old age thing."

"Old age thing," Tris asks.

She looks to me for answers. I'm sure she realized that during her time in Dauntless she never once saw an elderly person, or someone with a physical disability.

"Once the Dauntless reach a certain level of physical deterioration," I explain, "they are asked to leave. In one way or another."

"What's the other way?" Tris looks worried, like she knows the answer but needs me to confirm her suspicions.

"Let's just say, that for some, death is preferable to factionlessness," I tell her.

"Those people are idiots," Edward says. "I'd rather be factionless than Dauntless."

"How fortunate that you ended up where you did, then." I say callously.

He was all Dauntless when he was still there. He had no idea what he was getting himself into when left Dauntless.

"Fortunate?" Edward scoffs at me. "Yeah, I'm so fortunate, with my one eye and all."

"I seem to recall hearing rumors that you provoked that attack," I say.

"What are you talking about?" Tris asks. "He was winning, that's all, and Peter was jealous, so he just…" Edward and I just look at her. Edward smirks at her comment. She was there, she took care of him following the attack, but clearly she doesn't know the entire story. From what we were told, there was an incident between he and Peter in the men's room. Peter started running his mouth so Edward beat him up and stuffed his head in the toilet. That night, Peter retaliated with the butter knife in the eye.

"There was an inciting incident. In which Peter did not come out the victor." Edward explains. "But it certainly didn't warrant a butter knife to the eye."

"No arguments here," I agree. "If it makes you feel any better, he got shot in the arm from a foot away during the simulation attack."

"Who did that?" Edward smirks. This seems to please him. "You?"

I shake my head, "Tris did."

"Well done," says Edward.

She doesn't seem happy that he just praised her for shooting Peter. She hate Peter, but it is not in her nature to shoot someone without cause.

"Do you know much about how things are right now?" I ask Edward. "Did all of the Dauntless side with Erudite? Has Candor done anything?"

"Dauntless is split in half," Edward explains. "Half at Erudite headquarters, half at Candor headquarters. What's left of Abnegation is with us. Nothing much has happened yet. Except for whatever happened to you I guess."

I nod. It is good to know that not all of the Dauntless are traitors. I can still hold out hope that some of our friends are still alive and that we might be able to have a fighting chance. Especially if we take up arms with the factionless. I know htat Tris does not trust Evelyn, and neither do I really, but siding with the factionless may be the only way to end Erudite's attacks on the rest of the factions. The only way to save lives and rid ourselves of Jeanine.

After we eat, I go off to find some pallets and blankets to make a bed for Tris and me to sleep on. We find an empty corner where we can kind of be alone. I sit and Tris comes up to me and wraps her arms around me. She brushes her fingers along the small of my back, and then runs her fingers along the length of my spine. Then she gently brushes the fingers from her other hand on the Dauntless flames that stretch along my side, which sends chills all over my body. Every time she touches me I feel this kind of sensation and it causes me to breathe heavily. She makes me feel wanted, needed, and loved. She hasn't said the words yet, like I have. I know this has more to do with her intimacy issues than with me, but it would still be nice to hear her say the words.

"I wish we were alone," I tell her.

"I almost always wish that," she says.

XXX

We lie down on our makeshift bed and I try to go to sleep. Before long Tris' breaths become shallow and uniform, she has had a long day. Her body is still healing from being shot. I lie next to her and try to find sleep, with no luck.

Evelyn enters our little nook and beckons for me to talk to her.

"You'll have to tell me what's going on here if you expect me to consider helping you," I tell her. "Though I'm still not sure why you need me at all."

There is a part of me that hates this woman standing before me. She abandoned me, she left me to fend for myself with my abusive father.

"What would you like to know exactly?" she asks.

"Tell me about the chart. And the map."

"Your friend was correct in thinking that the map and the chart listed all of our safe houses. He was wrong about the population counts… sort of. The numbers don't document all the factionless- only certain ones. And I'll bet you can guess which ones those are."

I hate guessing games. I hate when people feel the need to say things like that, basically telling you to figure it out on your own. Maybe I can guess, maybe I can't but I despise playing games.

"I'm not in the mood for guessing," I tell her.

"The Divergent. We're documenting the Divergent."

"How do you know who they are?"

"Before the simulation attack, part of the Abnegation aid effort involved testing the factionless for a certain genetic anomaly," she explains to me. "Sometimes that testing involved re-administering the aptitude test. Sometimes it was more complicated than that. But they explained to us that they suspected we might have the highest Divergent population of any group in the city.

"I don't understand. Why…"

"Why would the factionless have a high Divergent population?" Evelyn smiles at me. "Obviously those who can't confine themselves to a particular way of thinking would most likely leave a faction or fail its initiation, right?"

"That's not what I was going to ask. I want to know why you care how many Divergent there are." I know my mother was Erudite, I'm nervous to think that she intends to experiment on or use the Divergent for her own schemes just as Jeanine wants to.

"The Erudite are looking for manpower. They found it temporarily in Dauntless. Now they'll be looking for more, and we're the obvious place, unless they figure out that we've got more Divergent than any other group. Just in case they don't, I want to know how many people we've got who are resistant to simulations."

"Fair enough," I say, "but why were the Abnegation so concerned with finding the Divergent? It wasn't to help Jeanine, was it?"

"Of course not. But I'm afraid I don't know. The Abnegation were reluctant to provide information that only serves to relieve curiosity. They told us as much as they believed we should know."

Typical Abnegation, they don't like questions and they will not indulge people's curiosity. But knowing why they were interested in the Divergent and what they intended to do with the information that they were accumulating would be helpful. Then I suddenly remember Marcus and the conversation that Tris overheard in Amity. Maybe she was on to something after all. Maybe Marcus does know more than I originally thought. But he is gone now, probably dead and even if he wasn't, there is no way that I would go to him for help. He will just have to figure this out on our own.

I only mumble one word, "Strange."

"Perhaps you should ask your father about it," she says as if she has read my mind. "He was the one that told me about you."

Fear and anger build in me, what does she me he told her about me. "About me. What about me?"

"He suspected you were Divergent," she tells me. "He was always watching you. Noting your behavior. He was very attentive to you. That's why… that's why I thought you would be safe with him. Safer with him than with me."

I stand there silently. Fury, terror, confusion, desperation all churn in my gut, desperate to explode from me. He knew I was Divergent? Why would he treat me the way that he did, why wouldn't he try to help guide me, help me?

"I see now that I must have been wrong." Evelyn says.

I still stand there soundless. I'm trying to control myself so I don't explode. My whole life has been horror, torture, and feeling like I'm not good enough for anyone or anywhere. Feeling like I don't belong anywhere, or that I don't deserve love. Tris is the only thing that is good in my life. She showed me that I am worthy of love, something that my parents never gave me. Something that my faction never gave me, only Tris.

"I wish…" Evelyn begins, but I cut her off. I will not allow her to apologize.

"Don't you dare try to apologize. This is not something that you can bandage with a word or two and some hugging, or something."

"Okay," she says. "Okay, I won't"

"For what reason are the factionless uniting? What do you intend to do?"

"We want to usurp Erudite. Once we get rid of them, there's not much stopping us from controlling the government ourselves," she explains.

"That's what you expect me to help you with. Overthrowing one corrupt government and instating some kind of factionless tyranny. Not a chance."

"We don't want to be tyrants," she says. "We want to establish a new society. One without factions."

No factions? I've considered being factionless. I was ready to go until Tris came along. I have always felt it was wrong to focus on our faction's ideals and ignoring the rest. That is one reason that I fell in love with Tris. She effortlessly encompasses the principles of all the factions. She doesn't even know she does it. Dauntless made more sense with her there. But I can't imagine no factions for anyone. Most people weren't like Tris and me. Most had a strong connection to specific ideals, people need the factions to know where they belong.

I laugh a little, the idea seems preposterous, "Right. So how are you going to usurp Erudite?"

"Sometimes drastic change requires drastic measures. I imagine that it will involve a high level of destruction." Evelyn's response is both calculated and startling. She is talking about overthrowing everything we have always known for something that is unknown and experimental at best. What happens if her experiment doesn't work? What happens we as people aren't capable of living without people of like minds?

"As for why we need you," Evelyn continues. "In order to do this, we will need Dauntless's help. They have the weapons and the combat experience. You could bridge the gap between us and them."

"Do you think I'm important to Dauntless? Because I'm not. I'm just someone who isn't afraid of much."

"What I'm suggesting, is that you become important. I'm sure you can find a way, if you want to. Think about it." She pauses for a moment, "The door is always open."

She leaves me standing there. I have never wanted authority. I have never sought to be a leader, but that is what the Abnegation believe. They believe that the best leaders are the ones that do not seek leadership, leadership finds them. I'm too tired to think about this anymore. I think Tris and I will need to move on tomorrow, go to Candor and try to find our friends and see what is happening.

I lie back down next to Tris on our makeshift bed and sleep quickly finds me.


	10. Chapter 10

I own nothing!

Chapter 10

I wake and Tris is nowhere to be found. This worries me a bit. I walk around toward the bathrooms, hoping I will find her but all I find is Caleb.

"If you're looking for Tris, she is in the ladies room with Susan. They were going to get cleaned up and try to find some cleans clothes."

"Good, I guess I'll do the same then."

"Four, Susan wants to go to the safe house where the other Abnegation are hiding. I want to ask Tris to come with us. I don't want her to be in any more danger."

"Caleb, you do understand that she is going to be in more danger with you than with me. I am more capable of protecting her," he scowls at me. "I'm sorry, but it is true. You can ask her, Tris will do whatever she wants though and neither of us will be able to convince her otherwise."

"Well, I guess we will just leave it up to her then. I am her family," says Caleb.

"Okay, Caleb. Do what you need to do." I walk away from him completely exasperated. I know Caleb is her brother, but does he need to constantly remind me? He acts as though what Tris and I have is temporary. It seems that the people that are supposed to be our family don't have any faith in us as a couple. I know how Caleb feels; he lets me know every opportunity he can. And I've noticed the way that Evelyn looks at Tris, like she thinks Tris is an obstacle that needs to be overcome or broken down. No matter what, I think we need to leave here immediately.

I turn down the corridor to find some clean clothes. I find clothes and go into the men's room to clean up as best I can in a sink with cold water. I change into the clothes that I found, a black T-shirt that is a little tighter than I'm used to and a pair of holey jeans like I would normally wear.

I come out of the bathroom and turn to the large room where we ate dinner last night. I see Tris and Caleb sitting in the corner sharing peanut butter, they are deep in conversation. She is shaking her head at him as though she is telling him she won't do something. I hope this means that she will be staying with me and not going to the Abnegation with him. He squeezes her left shoulder and gets up and walks away. She looks away from him to see me in the door way.

I walk over to her, kneel down and take a bite of the peanut butter. I lean in and whisper in her ear, "It's time to leave."

XXX

We arrive at Candor headquarters. It is in a large building that used to be called the 'Merchandise Mart', now the sign reads MERC IS MART, but most people call it the Merciless Mart because the Candor are merciless in their honesty.

We pause outside the door. I have no idea what we are going to find on the other side. I turn to Tris and kiss her briefly, "Here we go."

We walk through the doors. The lobby is large and foreboding. Everything is black and white, black marble floors, white walls, and a large image of the Candor scales in the middle of the floor. There are armed Dauntless soldiers patrolling the lobby area.

A soldier approaches us. She has one arm in a sling and a gun in the other, her gun pointed right at me.

"Identify yourselves," she says.

Other soldiers fall in behind her, guns raised ready for battle. I recognize many of them and know that they recognize me.

"Four," I reply. "And this is Tris. Both Dauntless."

The guard's eyes widen, but she does not lower her gun.

"Some help here?" she calls out. Some of the Dauntless that have come in behind her step forward. They are looking at us like we are dangerous.

"Is there a problem?" I ask.

"Are you armed?"

"Of course I'm armed. I'm Dauntless, aren't I?"

The guards, who greatly outnumber us in both number and weapons, look at us like we are going to attack.

"Stand with your hands behind your head," she says it loudly, like she thinks we are going to fight her. Tris looks over to me as I raise my hands to my head. She looks worried and completely confused.

She turns to the guard as she mimics my movement placing her hands to her head. "We walked in the front door. You think we would have done that if we were here to hurt you?"

No one responds to her and I don't make eye contact with her. I stare down the guard that approaches me to pat me down. They take the gun from my waist and pat my legs down looking for any other weapons.

Next to me I see a guard approaching Tris, he looks almost apologetic.

"I have a knife in my back pocket," she tells him warningly. "Put your hands on me, and I will make you regret it."

That's my girl, always the fighter. The guard approaches her, mumbles some kind of apology, and carefully takes the knife from her pocket.

"What's going on?" I ask again. I want to know why we are being looked at like we are criminals and being disarmed.

All of the soldiers look around at each other. They seem surprised that we don't know why we are being detained.

"I'm sorry," the first guard says. "We were instructed to arrest you upon arrival."


	11. Chapter 11

I own nothing!

Chapter 11

We are quickly surrounded by the guards and lead to the elevators. Tris continuously asks questions about why we are being arrested, but no one answers. She finally stops asking and just walks silently next to me.

We are lead to a holding room on the third floor. We enter the room which has only a bench against the wall, and nothing more. The guards close the door without so much as a word to explain.

I sit on the bench and Tris paces the room back and forth, over and over. The silence between us is becoming deafening. It feels like there is a wall being built between us. The wall is full of lies, deception, questions, and worry. We rarely speak about what we are thinking or feeling anymore. It is all just strategy and talk about the attacks. I have not told her that I spoke to Evelyn last night and what she wants me to do. I don't know how I feel about it and what I should do yet, so I don't want to discuss it with her until I can get a feeling about what I think is the best thing to do. I also know that there is something that she is still hiding from me. Something that is eating her up inside and she refuses to tell me what it is.

I try to ignore her pacing and try to figure out what it is that they think we have done that warrants our arrest. I imagine it is something having to do with the simulation attack, but I don't know why they would think we had any part in it, the data disk was destroyed at Amity. That was the only record of what happened in the control room in Dauntless.

"Can you please calm down?" I ask her. Her pacing is starting to make me crazy. "You're making me nervous."

"This is me calming down."

I look down at the floor and lean forward with my arms on my knees. I say, "The wound in your lip begs to differ."

She sits down next to me and brings her knees into her chest and hugs them. We sit in silence and I can feel the wall becoming bigger and more difficult to break through. I don't like that we have all of these things between us.

I continue to look down. I can't look at her right now or I won't be able to say what is on my mind. "Sometimes I worry that you don't trust me."

"I trust you," she says. She sounds surprised by my admission. "Of course I trust you. Why would you think otherwise?"

"Just seems like there's something you're not telling me. I told you things…" I shake my head. I need to get this out and hopefully we will open up and tell me what is going on with her lately. "I would never have told anyone else. Something's been going on with you, though, and you haven't told me yet."

"There's been a lot going on. You know that," she says. "And anyway, what about you? I could say the same thing to you."

I know she is right. I should tell her about Evelyn and the factionless. I should tell her what I think and how I think she might be right about Marcus having known something that I didn't want to give him credit for. I ignore her question, just as she ignored mine and reach up to touch her cheek. I push my finger through her hair and bring her closer to me. I place my forehead to hers, but I don't look her in the eyes.

"If it's just about your parents, tell me and I'll believe you."

Even if she tells me that is all it is, I know I still won't believe her. I know the way she thinks. And although she is hurting because of their death, and blaming herself for it, that is not all it is.

She covers my hand with hers and says quietly, "That's all it is."

It breaks my heart that she won't open up to me. It hurts that I know that she just lied to me. But I told her that I would believe her, so I have to at least try.

"Okay," I say and I pull her in and kiss her lightly on the lips.

The door opens and two Candor enter the room, along with a Dauntless and Jack Kang, representative of Candor.

I guess we are finally going to find out what we are being accused of.

"They told me you seemed confused about why you were arrested," Jack Kang says. "To me that means either you're falsely accused or good at pretending. The only…"

Tris interrupts him, "What are we accused of?"

"He is accused of crimes against humanity. You are accused of being his accomplice."

"Crimes against humanity?" Is he serious? The Erudite are out there forcing my faction into a simulation which caused them to attack innocent people. The forced me into a simulation that had the same result. And they accuse me of crimes against humanity? The anger rises, "What?"

"We saw video footage of the attack. You were running the attack simulation," says Jack.

"How could you have seen the footage? We took the data," I say.

"You took one copy of the data. All the footage of the Dauntless compound recorded during the attack was also sent to other computers throughout the city." Jack explains. "All we saw was you running the simulation and her nearly getting punched to death before she gave up. Then you stopped, had a rather abrupt lovers' reconciliation, and stole the hard drive together. One possible reason is because the simulation was over and you didn't want us to get our hands on it."

I'm completely in shock. They believe that we were both working for Erudite and helped to cause the mass destruction that the simulation caused. Tris saved my life in that room. She was ready to lay down her life for me and all they see is a lovers' reconciliation.

"The simulation didn't end," Tris tries to explain. "We stopped it, you…"

Jack stops her from talking. "I'm not interested in what you have to say right now. The truth will come out when you are both interrogated under the influence of truth serum."

"Truth serum?" she shakes her head. "No. No way."

"There's something you have to hide?" Jack asks.

She doesn't say anything more, just shakes her head.

"All right, then. It is now noon. The interrogation will be at seven. Don't bother preparing for it. You can't withhold information while under the influence of truth serum."

He turns and walks away. "What a pleasant man," I say. Tris doesn't respond.

Now I'm positive that there is something that she is hiding and she is now terrified that it will come out with the truth serum. There is a weight in the room that has never existed between Tris and me before. And the feeling is crushing me more than any feeling I've ever had before.

XXX

A group of Dauntless soldiers enter the room to take us to the bathrooms. As we walk I hear a familiar voice behind me. It is Uriah, Zeke's brother. He doesn't say anything to me but lets me know that he is here. Two guards stand outside the bathroom while Uriah enters with me.

"Uriah, it is so good to see you! I'm glad you are okay. How were you able to hide your Divergence from the Dauntless leaders during the attack?"

"I followed in line with everyone else and just did my best to hide. I was able to stop a couple of Dauntless who were under the simulation before they killed people but mostly I stood around and pretended. Then I found an opportunity to hide. A couple Dauntless went into a house to drag people out. I followed them in and managed to hide the people living there and myself until the simulation was over. It felt so cowardly to hide and not do anything, but I knew I couldn't fight everyone by myself."

"No Uriah, it was smart to hide. There is nothing you could have done. Tris and I tried to run, but she got shot and we were captured," I tell him.

"Wait, you and Tris are Divergent too?"

"Yes, we are." I change the subject, "Where is Zeke?"

Uriah shakes his head and looks sad, "Zeke is with the Dauntless traitors at the Erudite compound."

I don't say another word, why would Zeke have sided with the traitors? He was under the simulation just like everyone else here was. I don't understand what he would be thinking. He's turned his back on his brother, family, and friends and that is not like him. I wonder if they have somehow forced him into another simulation like the one that I was under that made my enemies look like friends and friends look like enemies.

I wash up and turn to leave the bathroom without another word, but Uriah stops me. "Is it true? Were you really the one running the simulation at Dauntless?" He sounds defeated.

"No Uriah, I wasn't. After Tris got shot and we got captured, Eric took us to Jeanine from Erudite. She put me injected me with a serum that changed the way I saw the world. My enemies looked like my friends. Tris looked like someone that I had to kill. And while I was in the control room, I thought I was trying to stop the simulation, but I was helping to stay running. It took Tris to break me out of the simulation."

Uriah just nods. Even if he doesn't believe me, he will in a couple hours when I'm under the truth serum.

They return me to the holding room, and there are sandwiches and drinks. Tris hasn't returned yet, so I just sit and begin eating.

She returns, when she enters the room she looks at me for a moment, like she is remembering a day long ago. Her face looks sad and overwhelmed.

"Hungry?" I ask offering the plate sitting next to me. She sits down next to me and leans her head on my shoulder. She takes a sandwich and we sit that way for a while, eat, and wait. Once we finish eating, we lay on the floor together, both just staring into space.

I decide to break the long silence, "What are you afraid of saying?" I want her to tell me now before she has no choice. I want her to want to confide in me. I want her to trust that she can tell me anything and that I will always believe her. I want to trust her again.

"Any of it. All of it. I don't want to relive anything," she says.

I nod, I realize that she is not going to tell me whatever it is that is going on. I think we both doze off for a while because suddenly the door opens and a few Dauntless walk into the room. A voice cries out for Tris and in rushes Christina, grabbing hold of her around her shoulders and squeezing. Tris cries out in pain from her gun shot wound.

"Got shot," she tells her. "Shoulder, ow."

"Oh God!" Christina says and lets her go. "Sorry, Tris."

Christina looks beaten down by what has happened and the aftermath.

"You okay? I heard you were here so I asked to escort you," Christina says to Tris. We follow her from the holding room. "I know you didn't do it. You're not a traitor."

"I'm fine," Tris says. "And thank you. How are you?"

Tris' behavior is rigid and nervous. She says these words like an Abnegation, out of obligation more so than actually wanting to know. She is not comfortable with talking to Christina.

"Oh, I'm…" she stops talking and looks sad.

"Did anyone tell you… I mean, maybe now isn't the time, but…"

"What? What is it?" Tris asks.

"Um… Will died in the attack." Christina says.

I look from Christina and feel sad for her. I know she and Will were together and happy. I look at Tris and I see something different. Sadness, but she already knew.

"I know," Tris says. "I saw him on the monitors when I was in the control room. I'm sorry Christina."

This is it. This is what she has been hiding from me, I'm sure of it. But why would she hide the fact that she knew that Will was dead. And why would she lie and say that she saw him while she was in the control room?

"Oh," Christina says sadly. "Well, I'm… glad you already knew. I really didn't want to break the news to you in a hallway."

We enter the elevator and I stare at Tris for some answers. She must realize that I know she is lying. She stares straight ahead and refuses to make eye contact with me. My anger and resentment are building up. She is lying to me and her lies are more important for her to keep than telling me the truth and confiding in me. She obviously doesn't trust me enough to tell me what is going on with her, and now all of our secrets will be exposed. Unless I can control the serum. I am able to control the simulation serum, but can I control this?

"Is everyone else alright?" Tris asks. "Uriah, Lynn, Marlene?" I didn't think to tell her that I saw Uriah and about Zeke. I guess I was dealing with that blow on my own. Zeke has been my best friend for years now.

"All here," Christina says. "Except for Uriah's brother, Zeke, who is with the other Dauntless."

"What?" Tris looks shocked. She looks at me and I can't hide my sadness. Even though I already knew, I'm still shocked that Zeke would do something like this.

"I know," Christina says. "No one saw it coming."

The elevator stops and exit. We walk down a hallway toward a set of doors. The Candor compound is confusing. All of the halls are a stark white from floor to ceiling. There is little difference from one hall to the next. The guards open the doors and we enter the room. There are both Candor and the remaining Dauntless present in this room. I am suddenly terrified of what I will say. I already know that I am a coward for running from my father and not standing up to him. Now, everyone else is going to know. What else am I going to have to tell them?

I reach down and take Tris' hand. She laces her fingers with mine and I squeeze. I need her strength and power right now because mine is weaning. We enter the room to murmurs and a few taunts. It feels like I am walking to my death.

A man stands in front of us holding a black box like the one we use for the simulation serum in Dauntless.  
"My name is Niles," he says. "I will be your questioner. You-," he points to me. "You will be first. So if you will please step forward…"

I squeeze Tris' hand, and then step forward. I have to be strong. I am Divergent, I can fight this serum.

Thoughts about my father, mother, my cowardice for running away, my decision to become factionless before Tris arrived, and my decision to stay once I met her all swim through my head. I don't want any of them to know I was going to become factionless because I felt like I didn't belong. I don't want them to know that even though I am strong, talented, and smart, that I am still terrified of Marcus.

"The injection site is in your neck," Niles tells me. I apply the antiseptic to my neck and Niles injects me with the serum.

In the beginning I feel no change, but then I begin to feel my defenses coming down. I might be able to fight this. I have to try to fight this.


	12. Chapter 12

I own nothing!

Chapter 12

I sit in the chair and I can feel the serum working on me. Making me want to tell the truth but there is also something else there that is allowing me to fight it just a little. I wonder if I will be able to continue to fight when he starts asking questions.

Niles begins, "I will ask you a series of simple questions so that you can grow accustomed to the serum as it takes full effect. Now. What is your name?"

What is my name? That is not a simple question for me. I don't want to say my real name. I don't want anyone to know that I am Marcus Eaton's son. I do have another name, one that I'm known for better than Tobias.

"Four."

"That is a nickname. What is your real name?"

"Tobias."

Okay, I'm finding it very difficult to fight this. I can't lie, but I apparently can tell a different version of the truth.

"What are the names of your parents, Tobias?"

I feel my mouth open to answer, and then I clench my jaw down to stop myself. I don't want to answer this question.

"Why is this relevant?" I ask.

"Maybe it wasn't relevant before, Tobias, but it is now that you have resisted answering the question. The names of your parents, please."

I want to know what it matters. My parents and who they are have nothing to do with the simulation attack. I try desperately to keep my mouth shut, but I find that I am not completely capable of fighting it.

I close my eyes, "Evelyn and Marcus Eaton."

I hear a murmuring begin to build up around the room. Everyone knows my father's name, either because he was a government official or because of the articles that the Erudite published about his abusiveness. I have no idea how that information even got out.

I am now finding it almost impossible to fight the serum.

"So you are a faction transfer, are you not?"

"Yes."

"You transferred from Abnegation to Dauntless?"

"YES," I shout. "Isn't that obvious?"

Why is he making me answer stupid questions that have nothing to do with the attack or my part in what happened during the attack?

"One of the purposes of this interrogation is to determine your loyalties," Niles says, "so I must ask: Why did you transfer."

I sit and glare at Niles. I don't want these people to know my past. I don't want to reveal my cowardice and my reason for leaving Abnegation. They have already forced me to admit who my parents are and what my real name was. Two things that I have kept hidden for two years. No one in Dauntless knows who Tobias is, but most know Four. Four kept me anonymous, Four was feared, Four was surly and difficult. Now Four is going to be gone, and all I'm left with is Tobias, the coward.

The more I try to fight it, the worse it gets. I don't think I'm going to be able to fight this off for much longer.

Niles says, "I'll ask again. It is important that we understand the extent of your loyalty to your chosen faction. So why did you transfer to Dauntless?"

I can't fight it any longer. They aren't going to let me. "To protect myself," I say quietly. "I transferred to protect myself."

"Protect yourself from what?"

"From my father."

The muttering around the room is growing. I have lost all the respect that I have worked for over the past two years. Now everyone knows that big, scary Four is a coward who runs away from his problems. I expect Niles to ask more specific questions, but he doesn't.

"Thank you for your honesty," is all Niles says. The other Candor repeat the phrase over and over.

"Is your allegiance with your current faction, Tobias?" Niles asks.

"My allegiance is with anyone who does not support the attack on Abnegation."

"Speaking of which," says Niles, "I think we should focus on what happened that day. What do you remember about being under the simulation?"

"I was not under the simulation, at first. It didn't work."

Niles laughs like he doesn't believe me, "What do you mean, it didn't work?"

"One of the defining characteristics of the Divergent is that their minds are resistant to simulations. And I am Divergent. So no, it didn't work."

The room erupts around me. What begins as murmuring turns into talking, some loudly. Niles tries to calm the crowd. He places his hand in the air to calm them, but this gesture does not work on everyone. "If you don't quiet down, you will be asked to leave."

"Now," Niles continues when the room is silent again. "When you say resistant to simulations, what do you mean?"

"Usually, it means we're aware during simulations." I explain. "But the attack simulation was different, using a different kind of simulation serum, one with long-range transmitters. Evidently the long-range transmitters didn't work on the Divergent at all, because I awoke in my own mind that morning."

"You say you weren't under the simulation _at first_. Can you explain what you mean by that?"

"I mean that I was discovered and brought to Jeanine, and she injected a version of the simulation serum that specifically targeted the Divergent. I was aware during that simulation, but it didn't do much good."

"The video footage from Dauntless headquarters shows you _running_ the simulation," Niles says. "How, exactly, do you explain that?"

"When a simulation is running, your eyes still see and process the actual world, but your brain no longer comprehends them. On some level, though, your brain still knows what you're seeing and where you are. The nature of this new simulation was that it recorded my emotional responses to outside stimuli," I stop for a second and breathe, remembering how I almost killed Tris because the emotional response was so great that the serum made me think she was my worst enemy, "and responded by altering the appearance of that stimuli. The simulation made my enemies into friends, my friends into enemies. I thought I was shutting the simulation down. Really I was receiving instructions about how to keep it running."

"We have seen footage of what ultimately happened to you in the control room, but it is confusing. Please describe it to us."

"Someone entered the room, and I thought it was a Dauntless soldier, trying to stop me from destroying the simulation. I was fighting her, and…" I stop and scowl. I am fine when the information they ask for is technical, when it is emotional I keep trying to fight it. "… and then she stopped, and I got confused. Even if I had been awake, I would have been confused. Why would she surrender? Why didn't she just kill me?"

This has been bothering me since I came out of the simulation. Why would she lay down her life to me and allow me to kill her, then lie to me and not tell me what is going on with her. Not tell me why she is afraid to shoot a gun. Something happened to make her afraid, and I have a feeling that it has something to do with Will's death. But what hurts, what bothers me is that she wouldn't let me in. I glance around the room until I find her and I look at her. She looks so sad and defeated.

"I still don't understand how she knew that would work." I say this without breaking my gaze. She stares at me and I continue my stare in her direction as if I'm asking her directly. "I think my conflicted emotions confused the simulation. And then I heard her voice. Somehow, that enabled me to fight the simulation."

I stop for a second and collect myself, "I recognized her, finally. We went back into the control room and stopped the simulation."

"What is the name of this person?" Niles asks.

"Tris. Beatrice Prior, I mean."

"Did you know her before this happened?"

"Yes."

"How did you know her?"

"I was her instructor," I say. "Now we're together."

"I have one final question," Niles says. "Among the Candor, before a person is accepted into our community, they have to completely expose themselves. Given the dire circumstances we are in, we require the same of you. So, Tobias Eaton: what are your deepest regrets?"

"I regret…" I can't say this, I don't want to say this, but I feel like I can't fight the serum anymore. "I regret my choice."

"What choice?"

"Dauntless. I was born for Abnegation. I was planning on leaving Dauntless, and becoming factionless. But then I met _her_, and… I felt like maybe I could make something more of my decision." I've never told her that before. I've never let her know how much she changed my life and how she made me better.

"Choosing Dauntless in order to escape my father was an act of cowardice. I regret that cowardice. It means I am not worthy of my faction. I will always regret it."

The room is silent. I don't know what I expected. To get pummeled by the Dauntless, to get screamed at, I don't know. But nothing happened. I look down and don't bring my eyes up to the crowd or to Tris. Someone whispers, "Thank you for your honesty." And the murmur continues throughout the room.

XXX

I get up to leave the chair as Tris starts toward it. As I pass her, I take her hand and squeeze it. I don't know if I'm trying to reassure her or if I'm trying to calm myself with her touch. I sit in the chair that she left unoccupied. Niles hands her the antiseptic and as Niles reaches in to inject her, she pulls back.

"I would rather do it myself," she tells him.

He looks at her quizzically, "Do you know how?"

"Yes."

Niles gives her the syringe and she injects herself with the serum. I'm not sure of her reasoning for this, but I find it interesting that she would let me do it, but no one else.

She sits in the chair silently waiting for the questioning to start. I wonder if she will be able to fight the serum better than I was able to. She was always better at manipulating the simulations than I ever was. Maybe she is a stronger Divergent than I am. Maybe her aptitude for three factions as opposed to two makes the serums work even less on her.

"What's your name?" Niles begins.

"Beatrice Prior."

"But you go by Tris?"

"I do."

"What are the names of your parents, Tris?"

"Andrew and Natalie Prior."

"You are also a faction transfer, are you not?"

"Yes."

She is answering the questions easier than I did, but she hasn't been trying to hide her past for the last two years.

"You came from Abnegation and chose Dauntless?"

"Yes." She makes a funny face. Like maybe she doesn't like answering the questions and is trying to stop herself.

"Why did you transfer?"

She stops and seems to be thinking. She grab the arm of the chair and squeezes it. She is trying to fight the serum.

"I wasn't good enough for Abnegation, and I wanted to be free. So I chose Dauntless."

"Why weren't you good enough?"

"Because I was selfish."

"You were selfish? You aren't anymore?"

"Of course I am. My mother said that everyone is selfish, but I became less selfish in Dauntless. I discovered there were people I would fight for. Die for, even."

She says this, and I realize that I am one of those people that she was willing to fight for and die for. She is willing to lay down her life, but she has no regard for that life sometimes.

"Tris, would you please tell us what happened the day of the attack?"

"I woke up and everyone was under the simulation. So I played along until I found Tobias."

"What happened after you and Tobias were separated?"

Jeanine tried to have me killed, but my mother saved me. She used to be Dauntless, so she knew how to use a gun."

She stops and thinks about this for a moment. I can see that she is realizing that there are things that she doesn't want to say here. She has never told me about her mother being Dauntless or how her mother saved her. I wonder if she will avoid details in order to keep her secret that she has been hiding for so long now.

"She distracted the Dauntless soldiers so I could get away, and they killed her," she says.

She is struggling, it isn't obvious, but I know the expression she is making. It is the same expression she would make during stage two of initiation, when she was trying to manipulate the simulations to get out of them.

"I kept running. And…" she pauses. And I found my brother and father. We formed a plan to destroy the simulation."

"We infiltrated the Dauntless compound, and my father and I went up to the control room. He fought off Dauntless soldiers at the expense of his life. I made it to the control room, and Tobias was there."

"Tobias said you fought him, but then stopped. Why did you do that?" Niles asks.

"Because I realized that one of us would have to kill the other and I didn't want to kill him," she says.

She couldn't kill me, that is why she gave herself up to me?

"You gave up?" Niles asks.

"No!" she retorts. She seems to get angry. She shakes her head. "No, not exactly. I remembered something that I had done in my fear landscape in Dauntless initiation… in a simulation, a woman demanded I kill my family, and I let her shoot me instead. It worked then. I thought…" She pauses and pinches her nose. Trying to control the serum is hurting her. "I was so frantic, but all I could think was that there was something to it; there was strength in it. And I couldn't kill him, so I had to try."

"So you were never under the simulation?"

"No."

"No," she says again. "No, I am Divergent."

"Just to clarify," says Niles. "Are you telling me that you were almost murdered by the Erudite… and then you fought your way into the Dauntless compound… and destroyed the simulation?"

"Yes."

"I think I speak for everyone when I say that you have earned the title Dauntless."

Shout rise from the side of the room where the Dauntless are sitting.

"Beatrice Prior, what are your deepest regrets?"

"I regret…" she pauses and looks to me. I don't give any reassuring gestures. I sit stone still with my hands clasped, waiting for her to answer.

"Will," she says. "I shot Will, while he was under the simulation. I killed him. He was going to kill me, but I killed him. My friend."

So this is what she has been hiding from me. This is the reason that she is afraid to pick up a gun, the reason that she has been pulling away from me. She was willing to die for me, but she killed her friend and this has been eating her alive ever since. Why couldn't she tell me?

"Thank you for your honesty," is murmured around the room.

But I say nothing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry it has been a while since my last update. Just been busy with life. Please let me know how I've been doing with this story. I usually don't ask for reviews, but I'm finding this one much more difficult to write. I had the Divergent story in my head before I wrote it down, this one isn't coming quite as easy. **

I own nothing!

Chapter 13

Tris stands from the chair and begins walking toward where Christina and I are sitting. I'm furious at her for lying to me, for not being confident in me enough to share her pain with me. But Christina looks sick, heartbroken, and completely defeated. She has just found out that her best friend killed her boyfriend and lied to her about it. Tris tries to speak.

"Christina," she stops. She seems to be at a loss for words. She continues, "He had a gun. He was about to shoot me. He was under the simulation."

"You killed him," Christina says. Christina looks completely beaten down. She stands and turns away.

I remain seated and just look at her. What has happened to this girl that she feels like she needs to keep these secrets from me? I've let her into my world, I've allowed her to see the things about me that I never shared with anyone else and she couldn't trust me enough to allow me to help her with her grief for her friend. My emotions are all a jumble, the feeling of betrayal and hurt threaten to eat me up inside.

Uriah approaches Tris, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Tris says.

"Hey," Uriah says. "You did what you had to do, right? To save us from being Erudite slaves. She'll see that eventually. When the grief fades."

She nods, and I agree but offer no words of encouragement to her. My own feelings are bubbling up inside of me, threatening to come spilling out. I stand from my chair and decide to put on my instructor Four attitude, that is about the only way I'm going to be able to deal with this right now because Tobias is hurt and vulnerable right now.

I walk toward her to speak. "I got our weapons back," I tell her and hand her the knife. "We can talk about it tomorrow." My voice is quiet and calculated. I can see my tone scares her, but this is what I have to do right now for me. I put my arm around her and pull her to me. I feel the warmth of her body next to me but I can also feel the wall that has been built between us. I thought she had brought down all my walls, but apparently another has been built. I just don't know if it is her wall or mine and if it can be broken down again. She puts her arm around my waist and we walk to the elevators as one.

XXX

I look for a place that we can sleep. Right now I just want to put this day behind us. I can see the looks from the other Dauntless and I am fuming inside. The looks accuse me of being a traitor and coward. I'm going to have to come up with something that will redeem me in their eyes. I need to stay with the Dauntless because of Tris and because I can't become factionless while this war is going on. I'll need to regain my status as Four, the Dauntless prodigy, the man with only two fears. I'll need to fix this so that I can save all of the factions.

We walk to the end of a hall and I find two empty cots. We lay next to each other silently and not touching. I am still disturbed that she doesn't trust me and right now, I can't handle a fight. I thought I knew this girl, I thought I knew the kind of person that she was. Now I wonder if I truly ever really knew her or if there are other secrets that she is hiding from me. I continue to think about this as I drift off to sleep. My sleep is anything but restful. My nightmares come and go throughout the night in the form of, me almost killing Tris. First it is like being back in the control room and I am holding a gun to her head. She knocks the gun away and I begin to choke her, I drag her to the Pit and dangle her by her neck over the chasm like Peter did during initiation. Finally, I end up letting her go and she falls into the chasm.

I wake with a start, sweating and sick. Tris is no longer next to me. I look around the hall but do not see where she has gone. While I look around for her, one of the Dauntless murmurs, "Coward." That one word sends flames of fury through my body, I turn to see who it is and am confronted with Uriah.

"What is your problem?" I ask him.

"I have no problem. I'm not the one who said that. But I would like to know what you meant by you were ready to leave Dauntless and become factionless. You were supposed to be something special to the Dauntless," he says.

"Look Uriah, I will not talk about this right now. I need to find Tris, have you seen her?"

"No, but we have a real problem Four. The Dauntless need to know what you were thinking what your reasoning was for thinking about leaving. Staying for her is not a good reason to stay in a faction, especially Dauntless. You need to figure out your priorities."

"Are you threatening me, Uriah? Because I promise you, I am still as dangerous now as I have ever been," I growl in a low controlled voice. I will not be threatened, especially by him.

"This is not a threat, this is an observation. I'm just telling you what I'm hearing from the others and because you were my brother's best friend." He looks defeated, worn down. His brother has become a traitor, but I just can't believe that it is true.

"Uriah, what happened with Zeke? How did he end up the Dauntless traitors? This is completely unlike him," I ask.

"I have no idea. We were separated during the simulation attack. He was under the simulation and there was no way that I could do anything to help him. So like I said, when I found my chance, I hid. I know it was cowardly to hide, but…" he stops and drifts off into his own thoughts.

"It wasn't cowardice Uriah, it was smart. I told you before, they would have killed you if you hadn't hidden."

Uriah looks at me and shakes his head. He looks years older than he is, probably with worry about his brother. But it doesn't seem to me that he actually believes that Zeke is a traitor, and neither do I. Zeke is goofy and fun, but one thing he isn't is a faction traitor or a traitor to his family and friends.

I turn back to my cot and think about laying back down when I see Tris emerge from a stairwell. I look and her and turn and walk toward the elevators, she follows close behind.

We stand in the elevator silently, side by side. The wall between us is becoming bigger and stronger than before. I don't look at her; I keep my eyes trained ahead on the doors. When the doors open, I step through the doors focus my gaze to the floor and cross my arms. She looks worried and terrified, but right now I don't care. She has managed to hurt me more than I could have imagined anyone could hurt. Even more than Marcus or Evelyn ever could have.

I stop, "You didn't tell me. Why not?"

"Because I didn't…" she shakes her head. "I didn't know how to."

I furrow my eyebrows, "It's pretty _easy_, Tris…"

"Oh yeah," she says. "It's so easy. All I have to do is go up to you and say, 'By the way, I shot Will, and now guilt is ripping me to shreds, but what's for breakfast?' Right? _Right?_" She begins to sob, but I don't try to comfort her. "Why don't you try killing one of your best friends and then dealing with the consequences?"

The fact that she killed him is eating her up inside. I can see that. I soften a little and put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her a little.

"Tris, I'm sorry. I shouldn't pretend that I understand. I just meant that…" I stop. It hurts more than I want to admit that she didn't trust me. "I wish you trusted me enough to tell me things like that."

She stands there with her eyes focused on the floor, tears running down her cheeks. She tries to stifle her sobs, but they just come more forceful and desperate.

"I mean, I had to find out that you almost drowned in a water tank form Caleb. Doesn't that seem strange to you?"

She wipes her tears from her cheeks and looks to me. She looks so defeated, like she could crumble at any moment. Then she looks to me and she becomes a little more composed.

"Other things seem stranger," she says. "Like finding out that your boyfriend's _supposedly dead mother is still alive by seeing her in person_. Or overhearing his plans to ally with the factionless, but he never tells you about it. That seems a little strange to me."

I look and her and step away, removing my hand from her shoulder. She is right. I didn't tell her those things. I didn't think the fact that Evelyn was alive would be important. I had no desire to see or speak to her. It was only because of the attacks that I had no choice but to see her again. The conversation with Evelyn about joining forces the factionless was something that I've been mulling over as something that might eventually be necessary if the Candor will not stand with us. As I think about things, I am becoming angry. What has happened with Will has made her behave differently, has made her shut down. Evelyn has not changed my behavior, if anything she has made me act more like I should. More like Four and less like Tobias.

"I thought we would get to those things eventually. Do I have to tell you everything right away?"

"God, _Four_!" she screams at me, fury in her eyes. "You don't want to have to tell me everything right away, but I have to tell _you_ everything right away? Can't you see how stupid that is?"

Every time she uses my nick name like a weapon against me, it infuriates me further.

"First of all, don't use that name like a weapon against me. Second, I was not making plans to ally with the factionless; I was just thinking it over. If I had made a decision, I would have said something to you. And third, it would be different if you had actually intended to tell me about Will at some point, but it's obvious that you didn't."

"I did tell you about Will!" she says. "That wasn't truth serum; it was me. I said it because I chose to."

"What are you talking about?" I scowl.

"I was aware. Under the serum. I could have lied; I could have kept it from you. But I didn't, because I thought you deserved to know the truth."

"What a way to tell me! In front of over a hundred people. How intimate!" I'm shouting at her now. Barely able to control my rage.

"Oh, so it's not enough that I told you; it has to be in the right setting? Next time should I brew some tea and make sure the lighting is right, too?" she scoffs.

I turn from her completely frustrated and begin to pace the room. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. No one has made me cry since I was a kid when Marcus would beat me and I would try to convince him that whatever he was accusing me of doing wrong was untrue. Once I realized that no amount of tears, pleading, or begging would stop the torture and beatings I vowed that I would never shed another tear. But now, out of sadness that the girl I love doesn't trust me, out of frustration, and annoyance, I can feel the tears forming.

I blink them back, I will not shed a tear but can feel that my face getting hot. I turn back toward her and say just loud enough for her to hear, "Sometimes, it isn't easy to be with you, Tris." Then I turn and look away from her feeling the tears rising again.

"I'm sorry," she says meekly. "I should have been honest with you."

I should be happy with this. I should acknowledge that she sees that keeping this from me was wrong. But the frustration and anger are still there, boiling just under the surface. I know that I'm just as impossible to be with as she is sometimes and I should admit that it isn't all her, that I have faults and that I find it hard to trust, but I don't.

I say, "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

She looks exasperated, "What else do you want me to say?"

I shake my head at her, I'm not sure what else I expect. I'm not sure why I even expect more. Is she hiding anything else? Would she tell me if she was? I feel completely vulnerable, and I don't like it. I have exposed more of myself to this girl than anyone else ever. I told her that I'm in love with her and she has never expressed those feelings back. Maybe that I what I need to hear now, that she loves me, that there is nothing else that she is hiding from me, and that we are going to be okay because she loves me and wants to be with me. But I don't say anything about any of that, I only say, "Nothing, Tris. Nothing."

I walk away from her. My heart is shattering into a million pieces. I don't know if the void between us will ever be filled. A lone tear streaks across my cheek, I will not allow any others to fall.


	14. Chapter 14

I own nothing!

Chapter 14

I walk around the compound for a while, just listening and watching. Observing people is something that I learned when I was in Abnegation. I was never allowed out after Marcus beat me because he never wanted anyone to see the bruises and welt marks from the belt that sometimes found my arms and neck. He was always careful to hide me from others. Over time I learned to hide myself, quietly observing others on the streets and at school. I thought it would be selfish of me to draw attention to the horror that was my life. I really didn't have any friends however no one in Abnegation really ever did have friends, so no one noticed that I wasn't around. So it was easy to hide myself and my scars. The one good thing about Abnegation is the clothing is restricting and they cover almost every piece of exposed skin, I never really had to worry about people seeing my bruises or scars.

I see Uriah and Marlene walking toward the cafeteria and talking. They were talking about going to the Hancock building tonight to so some reconnaissance on the Dauntless traitors and Erudite. I'm sure that he is also hoping to find Zeke and drag him back here kicking and screaming if necessary. It's not a bad idea and I wish I could go ignore my fear and go with them, I'd love to find Zeke and find out what he is thinking. But that would not be a wise decision. Running into the Erudite compound unprepared could be deadly. The only problem is I know that if Tris knows anything about this that she will be there right along with them. She is becoming very careless with the risks that she chooses to take. But I'm going to have to trust her if she chooses to go, any information that they gather can be very helpful to our survival.

I continue around the compound and every time I come across a Dauntless that I don't know they have some snide comment for me about cowardice or being a traitor. I still need to find something that will fix my status with these people. If I am going to help them to defeat the Erudite, I will need them to at least trust that I am on their side and am willing to fight the traitors and Erudite. I'm still not sure how I'm going to do that. If only Marcus were still alive, then maybe I could finally get my revenge and my respect back at the same time… If only.

I decide to head to the cafeteria to eat lunch. I walk in and see Tris at a table with Lynn, Marlene, and Uriah at the front of the cafeteria. They are all sitting there talking and laughing. Tris looks happy and carefree for the moment and I know that my presence will ruin that for her. I retrieve my lunch and sit to the back of the cafeteria near Harrison. He is an older Dauntless man with a wife and children, but right now he is sitting alone. I ask him if I could sit and he obliges.

"How's it going, Four?" Harrison asks.

"Good Harrison, where is your family?"

"My wife took the kids for a nap. They are tired a lot lately, I'm not sure why but I'm too worried about the ethics of the doctors to allow them to go to the hospital wing. Just don't trust them anymore."

"Trust is something that is definitely lacking with the Dauntless lately," I say looking down at my food.

"Speaking of which, Four, I must ask you a question," Harrison looks at me quizzically. "When you were under the truth serum, you said that you didn't belong to the Dauntless because you came to be with us to escape your father. Is that how you really feel?"

"Yes," I say quietly.

"So you really don't believe that all of the things that you've accomplished since then mean anything?" he says.

"They were all done for the wrong reasons. I was escaping a man and a situation that I didn't know how to handle."

"Listen Four, I've watched you. I've seen the power and intelligence in you. Also, Amar was one of my best friends. He looked at you like a son. He knew what your life was like before arriving at Dauntless and never once did he consider you coming to be with us an act of cowardice. He considered it an act of bravery. He once told me that you had lived through some of the worst horrors that any man should have to endure but that you overcame those horrors. He said that you were special and would someday be able to change the way things were being done in Dauntless. And I believe him."

I sit there for a long time thinking about my old mentor Amar. I rarely think about him anymore and that saddens me. I consider Harrison's words, maybe I'm not a coward for coming to Dauntless, but now many of them look at me like I don't belong among them.

"Thanks Harrison," I say. We sit silently while we both finish our lunch then go our separate ways. I know he is right about Amar believing that I was brave for leaving Marcus and Abnegation. He used to tell me that I was different, and different people had a responsibility to try to help other people who might be different. He said that is why he was an instructor, so he could find those people that were different and help them. So when he was killed, I became an instructor so that I could carry on helping people like me.

XXX

I wander around the Candor compound for a couple hours longer, thinking about Amar, Tris and all of our problems, and the war. I'm not sure what I can do to fix things with Tris, I'm not sure if I can fix things with her. Right now she is so distance and I'm not helping the situation at all.

I walk into the room that the Dauntless have taken as their temporary home and see Tris talking to Lynn. I walk toward them and hear Lynn say, "Ready to go?"

"Where are you going?" I ask as I walk through the bunks toward them.

"Top of the Hancock building to spy on Erudite," Lynn explains. "Want to come?"

I look at Tris, I don't like this. I really don't want her to go. I want her to stay here and stay safe so I don't have to worry about her. "No, I've got a few things to take care of here. But be careful."

Tris nods at me and begins to walk away, but I stop her. "I'll see you later. Don't do anything stupid."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," she says frowning at me.

"I didn't mean that," I say. "I meant don't let anyone else do anything stupid. They'll listen to you."

I lean in because I love her and want to kiss her. I want everything to be back to the way it was. But then I stop myself. Everything isn't the way it was. There is a void between us and we have not had the chance to even attempt to bridge the gap yet. I lean back and Tris averts her eyes from me, but I can see the sadness and the feeling of rejection that she is feeling.

She runs off toward Lynn and they disappear out of the room toward the elevators.

I decide that I'm going to make my way to the cafeteria to see if I can find Harrison again since he isn't in the dorm room. We need to start to make some decisions about what we are doing here and what our next step is going to be. Since our leaders are all traitors, it is time to elect new leaders.

XXX

Suddenly a woman in blue runs out of the stairwell and tells us that Erudite and Dauntless traitors have infiltrated the building and are on their way up.


	15. Chapter 15

I own nothing!

Chapter 15

The Erudite woman ran up to the highest level of the building and happened to run right into me as I was leaving the Dauntless quarters. She told me that the Dauntless traitors and some armed Erudite have stormed the building and are shooting people with simulation serums that would control them from long distances and they can be activated at any time, multiple times. We work together to evacuate all of the Dauntless onto the fire escape. We climb down to ground level and gather all of the loyal Dauntless out of sight of the front doors.

My heart is racing because I know that Tris and the others were on their way out of the building when the attack happened. The serum may have no effect on her, but I know that she won't just lay there and do nothing.

"We have to make a plan!" I say. "Tris, Uriah, and several others were in the lobby when the attack started. That means that there are at least a couple loyal Dauntless in there that are awake and probably trying to stop what is happening."

"Are you crazy?" the Erudite girls asks. "We are severely out manned."

Harrison speaks up, "We have the element of surprise on our side. Who here is armed?"

Every Dauntless raised their hand acknowledging that they are indeed armed.

"Good," I say. "Now let's make a plan."

We can see from our vantage point that there are only two Dauntless traitors in the lobby, the rest have entered the elevators, probably looking for more people to shoot with their simulations. We decide to enter the lobby, take down the traitors, and then storm the stair wells in groups of four on every level to surround the traitor Dauntless.

We enter the lobby and I shoot the first guard, while Harrison takes out the second. We enter the stair wells and begin to ascend. The first group quietly enters the first floor and begins to surround the Dauntless traitors. As my group climbs to the next level, I hear a gunshot then her scream. It echoes through the stairwell and reverberates through my entire body. Someone is hurting her; someone is going to kill her. My body tenses and I'm ready to react without thinking, but someone stops me. Harrison grabs my arm, realizing that I am ready to bolt toward the sound. He looks at me as if he is telling me to stick with the plan. We continue to quickly and quietly ascend to the next level. We enter the level that the scream came from and make our way toward the elevator banks where they are being held. We surround them from both sides. I look around the corner and can see Eric in front of Tris talking to her. Her hand is groping behind her back, then I remember the knife that she had hidden in her pocket, they must not have disarmed her. Eric leans in closer to her, whispering something that I cannot hear. Suddenly she lurches forward and stabs the knife into his gut causing Eric to fall and the rest of us to attack.

I see Uriah knock out one of the guards and take his weapon just as we enter the scene. He sees me and knows that we are there to help. Gunshots fly and I see Tris leaning over Eric, trying to retrieve his gun but she can't. I reach down and lift her, pressing her against the wall with my body to protect her. My back toward her, I fire at several Dauntless traitors, then I turn toward her to see if she is okay.

"Tell me if anyone's behind me!" I tell her.

She nods and I turn back away from her and begin shooting at anyone I see with a blue armband. The Dauntless traitors were unprepared for this attack, the cost of being arrogant. Some try to fight back, but most attempt to flee. Many are lying on the floor. I continue to fire my gun until I have no more bullets keeping her pressed against the wall behind me to shield gun shots continue but I turn back to her and can feel her body tremble against mine. Tears run down her cheeks in a steady stream. She has blood all over her hands and she still grasps the hilt of the knife that she used to stab Eric.

Eric is still lying on the floor where he fell when he got stabbed, he moans and is losing a lot of blood. He is still alive, for now.

The gun shots stop and the loyal Dauntless are the only ones left standing. Most of the Dauntless traitors have fled and the ones that tried to fight back are now either dead or laying on the floor with mortal injuries.

Tris looks down at her trembling hands at the blood that is covering them and attempts to wipe them off on her pants. Tears are still streaming down her face and she looks completely defeated.

I take her wrists in my hands and try to get her to look at me, "Tris. You can put the knife down now."

She doesn't say anything, just looks at me and drops the knife on the floor at our feet. She lays her head into my chest and continues to sob, mumbling something about a young Candor boy that Eric shot and killed for no reason.

XXX

We walk down to the lobby to see how everyone else is doing. When we see that the lobby is secured and that people are starting to come around, Tris tells me she is going to clean the blood off of her hands. She enters the elevator to return to our floor.

I find Uriah kneeling on the floor next to Marlene and Lynn to see if they are okay. Everyone that was shot with the simulation serum is starting to come around. I go over to Uriah and look at the disk that is attached to his shoulder.

"Uriah, we are going to need to try to remove that," I tell him.

"Yeah, I know. I tried to pull it off, but I can't get a good hold on it. Will you try?" he asks.

I look at the disk and pull out my knife and tell him, "This is going to hurt."

He nods as I place the flat end of the knife on his skin and begin to pry the disk from his shoulder. He winces but doesn't complain. When I am able to pry it away from his skin enough, I clutch the disk in my fingers and tell him, "On three, okay?"

He nods.

"One… two… three!"

He lets out a grunt as I pull the disk from his skin. I hold it out in front of us and investigate it. It looks to be a hollow disk with a needle about two to three inches long attached to the middle of it. I look at Uriah and see that the serum has left a blue mark in is skin, more proof that this serum is possibly more permanent than any other serum Erudite has created until this point.

"That was inside of me? And what is this blue stuff in my shoulder?"

"I'm not completely sure Uriah," I say. I don't want to tell him that I think this could be a permanent simulation serum that could be activated at any time.

We work to remove the dead and injured to the infirmary area and clean up the mess that was created from the attack. We move all of the Dauntless up to our floor and begin to help the people detach the disks from their bodies.

We spend the rest of the night removing the needles from people's arms throughout the entire compound. I see Tris from time to time, helping people to remove the needles and talking to them. I have not had the chance to talk to her about this yet and to tell her about what the Erudite girl told me and about the serum. I found out that the Erudite girl that saved us was Will's older sister. She had come to save Will and was devastated to find out that Will was killed during the attack on Abnegation.

XXX

It took all night to remove all of the needles from everyone. I found out that most of the Candor have been infected with the serum and that about one third of the loyal Dauntless were infected. Luckily most of us were on our floor and were able to be evacuated before the Dauntless traitors made their way up to our area. When there are no more needles to remove, I make my way to the cafeteria for breakfast.

I enter the cafeteria to find Tris talking to a man. I soon realize that it is Caleb and I wonder how he got here and when.

I watch them talking, she looks surprised and disgusted. He squeezes her arm and walks away toward the food line. Tris scans the crowd and meets my eyes. We stand and look at each other for what seems like a long time. She still looks like the same girl that I feel for, but there is something in her eyes that has changed. Her eyes aren't full of life like they used to be, they look sad and beaten down. I begin to approach her slowly.

"You okay?"

"I might throw up if I have to answer that one more time," she says. "I don't have a bullet in my head, do I? So I'm good."

This answer frustrates me. I wish I knew why she was pushing me away and why she won't let me in anymore.

"Your jaw is so swollen you look like you have a wad of food in your cheek, and you just stabbed Eric. I'm not allowed to ask if you're okay?"

She sighs as if she realizes how her comment must have sounded to me. "Yeah. I'm okay," she says.

I move my hand because I want to pull her to me and wrap my arms around her, but I don't know. She is so distant, so detached from me lately I don't know if I should. But then I decide that I don't care. I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get to you," I whisper to her. My face buried in her beautiful blond hair.

She wraps her arms around me and glides her fingertips across my back. The usual spark is still there, the one I feel every time she touches me. She pulls back from me a little as says, "I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere quiet?"

I nod to her and we leave the cafeteria. As we leave one of the Dauntless we pass yells, "Oh look! It's Tobias Eaton!"

Another yells, "I saw your daddy here earlier, Eaton! Are you gonna go hide?"

I stiffen and I feel the fury building inside of me. A week ago these people wouldn't have had enough nerve to go up against me. They were terrified of what I was capable of with just my bare hands. Now I've turned into a laughing stock.

"Yeah, are you gonna hide, coward?"

A few people around us laugh and Tris grabs my arm and drags me to the elevator before I have a chance to react.

"I was going to tell you… he came with Caleb," she says. "He and Peter escaped Amity…"

"What were you waiting for, then?" I ask. My voice is hollow, without feeling.

"It's not the kind of news you deliver in a cafeteria," she says.

She is right. "Fair enough," I say.

We stand in silence and wait for the elevator. Marcus is alive and although the possibility of his death had no real effect on me, the fact that he is alive and here infuriates me. Why did he feel the need to come here? Most of Abnegation are with the factionless, not here. So why is he here other than to torture me? I find myself staring at nothing and thinking as we ride the elevator to the eighteenth floor.

We walk into the room where we were interrogated. This is the place where I was forced to admit who I am. And that I'm still afraid of my father, the man that made it a point to make my life hell.

Tris moves to sit on one of the benches while I pull the chair that Niles sat in while questioning us.

"Didn't there used to be two of these?" I ask.

"Yeah," Tris says. "I, uh… it got thrown out the window."

"Strange," I say looking at her. I sit in front of her. "So what did you want to talk about? Or was that about Marcus?"

"No, that wasn't it. Are you… all right?" she asks me.

"I don't have a bullet in my head do I?" I say looking down. "So I'm fine. I'd like to talk about something else."

"I want to talk about simulations," she says. "But first, something else- your mother thought Jeanine would go after the factionless next. Obviously she was wrong- and I'm not sure why. It's not lie the Candor are battle ready or anything…"

"Well think about it," I tell her. I still have not had a chance to tell her about Cara and what she told me. "Think it through like the Erudite."

She looks at me strangely.

"What? If you can't, the rest of us have no hope."

"Fine," she says. "Um… it had to be because Dauntless and Candor were the most logical targets. Because… the factionless are in multiple places, whereas we're all in the same place."

"Right," I tell her. "Also, when Jeanine attacked Abnegation, she got all the Abnegation data. My mother told me that the Abnegation had documented the factionless Divergent populations, which means that after the attack, Jeanine must have found out that the proportion of Divergent among the factionless is higher than among the Candor. That makes them an illogical target."

"All right. Then tell me about the serum again," she says. "It has a few parts, right?"

"Two," I nod. "The transmitter and the liquid that induces the simulation. The transmitter communicates information to the brain form the computer, and vice versa, and the liquid alters the brain to put it in a simulation state."

"And the transmitter only works for one simulation, right? What happens to it after that?"

"It dissolves. As far as I know, the Erudite haven't been able to develop a transmitter that lasts for more than one simulation, although the attack simulation lasted far longer than any simulation I've seen before."

"What's this about, Tris?" I want to see if she has figured this all out. I want to make sure that what Cara told me and what I have figured out for myself is also what is has figured out.

"Have you seen this yet?" she asks pointing to her bandage.

I saw Uriah's immediately after I pulled it out, but I have not had the chance to take a good look since. "Not up close. Zeke and I were hauling wounded Erudite up to the fourth floor all morning."

She peels away the bandage and I can see the puncture wound and the blue dye. The dye is still as blue as it was when I pulled the needle from Uriah's arm.

"When they attacked, they weren't trying to kill us. They were shooting us with these," she says.

I take the needle from her. When I pulled Uriah's out of his arm, I didn't have time to really look at it. I tap the metal disk on the bench. "This is probably hollow. It must have contained whatever the blue stuff in your arm is. What happened after you were shot?"

"They tossed these gas-spewing cylinders into the room, and everyone went unconscious. That is, everyone but Uriah and me and the other Divergent."

I sit and continue to look at the apparatus that is attached to the needle. It is actually brilliant; terrible and horrifying but brilliant. I don't react when she mentions that Uriah is Divergent which causes her to look at me funny.

"Did you know that Uriah was Divergent?"

"Of course. I ran his simulations, too."

"And you never told me?" she asks.

"Privileged information," I say. "Dangerous information."

She looks angry for a moment. I am ready to explain that it was not for me to tell her about Uriah's business. But then I start to feel a little anger also. She would not have wanted me to tell Uriah about her, so why should she expect me to tell her about him? Her expression changes and I suspect she has come to that conclusion on her own.

"You saved our lives, you know," she says. "Eric was trying to hunt us down."

"I think we're past keeping track of who has saved whose life." I look into her eyes.

"Anyway," she says. "After we figured out that everyone was asleep, Uriah ran up the stairs to warn people who were up there, and I went to the second floor to figure out what was going on. Eric had all the Divergent by the elevators, and he was trying to figure out which of us he was going to take back with him. He said he was allowed to take two. I don't know why he was going to take any."

"Odd," I say.

"Any ideas?"

"My guess is that the needle injected you with a transmitter, and the gas was an aerosol version of the liquid that alters the brain. But why…" I think about all of this. "Oh. She put everyone to sleep to find out who the Divergent were."

"You think that's the only reason for shooting us with transmitters?"

I shake my head and stare into her eyes. She has almost figured it all out. I just need to push her a little more. "I think you've already figured it out, but you want me to contradict you. And I'm not going to."

"They've developed a long-lasting transmitter," she says with a horrified look on her face.

I nod, confirming what she has figured out.

"So, now we're all wired for multiple simulations. As many as Jeanine want, maybe."

I nod again.

"This is really bad, Tobias."

XXX

We walk out into the hall and I stop and lean against the wall.

"So you attacked Eric. Was that during the invasion? Or when you were by the elevators?"

"By the elevators," she says.

"One thing I don't understand," I begin. "You were downstairs. You could have run away. But instead, you decided to dive into a crowd of armed Dauntless all by yourself. And I'm willing to bet you weren't carrying a gun."

She looks at me and purses her lips.

"Is that true?" I ask.

"What makes you think I didn't have a gun?" she makes a face at me.

"You haven't been able to touch a gun since the attack. I understand why, with the whole Will thing, but…"

"That has nothing to do with it," she snaps.

"No?"

"I did what I had to do," she says.

"Yeah. But now you should be done." I stand and face her. "You should have stayed with the Amity. You should have stayed far away from this."

I just want her to be safe and she keeps taking unnecessary risks. She is showing no regard for her life or the life that we share together. This thought starts the fire burning in my gut. I can't stand the thought of losing her because she refuses to care about her life.

"No, I shouldn't have," she says. "You think you know what best for me? You have no idea. I was going crazy with the Amity. Here I finally feel… sane again."

"Which is odd, considering you are acting like a psychopath," I snap. "It's not brave, choosing the position you were in yesterday. It's beyond stupid- it's suicidal. Don't you have any regard for your own life?"

"Of course I do," she says angrily. "I was trying to do something useful!"

I stare at her in disbelief. I suddenly realize that she doesn't care at all about her life. She doesn't think before she acts. She is too impulsive. This realization infuriates me.

"You're more than Dauntless," I say quietly. "But if you want to be just like them, hurling yourself into ridiculous situations for no reason and retaliating against your enemies without regard for what ethical, go right ahead. I thought you were better than that, but maybe I was wrong."

"You shouldn't insult the Dauntless," she says. "They took you in when you had nowhere else to go. Trusted you with a good job. Gave you all your friends."

I stand there looking at her. She leans on the wall and refuses to make eye contact with me. Yes they gave me a home and a life, but that doesn't mean I have to like the way with which many of them act without regard for life. Acting without respect for the life of others or yourself is not bravery, it is idiocy.

"Tris."

She refuses to look at me.

"Tris."

She looks up at me, tears forming in her eyes.

"I just don't want to lose you."

She continues to look at me and I can see it. She doesn't know if she wants to go on living anymore. This realization breaks my heart and I don't know if there is anything that I can do to help her want to live. How do you give someone the will to live? I don't know if I can go on with her like this. How can I invest my love, my life into someone who doesn't know if she wants to live?


	16. Chapter 16

I own nothing!

Chapter 16

We all assemble in the conference room for the meeting that Jack Kang has called about last night's attack. I had managed to rest for a little while after my conversation with Tris. Unfortunately my rest was anything but restful. She is in a precarious place right now and I have a feeling that she is going to do something dangerous. I am also afraid that I won't be able to stop her.

We sit in the cafeteria awaiting Jack's announcements.

"Quiet down everyone!" he lifts his hands and everyone goes silent. All of the Dauntless are assembled together waiting to see what Jack has to say.

"I know many of you are confused and shaken by what happened yesterday. I have heard many reports from a variety of perspectives, and have gotten a sense for what is straightforward and what requires more investigation."

Candor, always searching for honesty and the truth. I shake my head thinking about what he could possibly hope to gain from this meeting.

"What seems to me to require more investigation is the Divergent," he says.

Oh boy, here it goes. We are going to be persecuted for being different, forced to turn ourselves over to the Erudite or whoever to be executed. Or they are going to use us as lab rats then execute us when we are no longer useful. This list of what the Erudite could do to us is endless.

"If you are one of the Divergent, please step forward so that we can hear from you."

I toss around the death and persecution scenarios in my head. There is no way that this is going to end well. Either the Candor turn us over to the Erudite to save themselves or they find a way to use us for their own benefit against the Erudite. Either way, this isn't going to be good.

I see people look around at each other. There is no sense in my hiding, they already know that I am Divergent. I glance at Tris and Uriah, they know about her but not him. I try to get his attention, but the look of pure terror on his face doesn't allow him to notice me. I can only hope that he is smart enough to stay where he is and not acknowledge his Divergence in front of this room.

I am the first to move. When people see me coming they part to allow me to walk toward Jack. I look straight ahead with my head held high, I refuse to show any fear. I reach Jack and turn to see Tris making her way to the front with me.

Several others in Candor black and white move forward, but not many. So far Uriah is staying where he is.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Marcus make his way to the front of the room and I am shocked. Is Marcus Divergent? Evelyn said that he suspected that I was Divergent, is this why he was able to tell? If this is the case, then why did he constantly feel the need to abuse me? I am becoming angrier now than I think I have ever been. How could he treat me the way he did knowing what I am? Why didn't he attempt to help me, to teach me, something, anything but the abuse?

Jack Kang looks at Marcus is shock, "You, Marcus?"

"Yes," Marcus responds. "I understand that you are concerned- that you all are concerned. You had never heard of the Divergent a week ago, and now all that you know is that they are immune to something to which you are susceptible, and that is a frightening thing. But I can assure you that there is nothing to be afraid of, as far as we are concerned."

His little speech angers me further. He seems so sincere, so full of concern for everyone involved. He seems believable. I guess this is how he was able to convince people to help him fake Evelyn's death and make people believe that everything with me was perfectly normal. 'Tobias is fine, there is no reason to be concerned about the lash marks and bruises and scars covering his body'. I curl my hands into fists and dig my fingernails into my hands to stop me from shaking with fury.

"It seems clear to me that we were attacked so that the Erudite could find the Divergent. Do you know why that is?" Jack asks Marcus.

"No, I do not," says Marcus. "Perhaps their intention was merely to identify us. It seems like useful information to have, if they intend to use their simulations again."

Next to me Tris speaks, "That was not their intention."

I look at her imploring her with my eyes to stop now. But she doesn't look at me. She glares at Marcus, she hates him almost as much as I do.

"They wanted to kill us," she continues. "They have been killing us since before any of this even happened."

I think about Tori's brother and Amar. Both killed because they were different, unique.

"That sounds very much like a conspiracy theory," says Jack. "What reason would the Erudite have to kill you?"

Amar once told me that we had to hide our Divergence because we scared people. We were only useful to them if we could be controlled. Since the Divergent cannot be controlled, we are a threat to those who seek power.

"I…" Tris begins, but I cut her off. I know she doesn't have a good answer for this question.

"Obviously we don't know," I say, "but there are nearly a dozen mysterious deaths recorded among the Dauntless from the past six years, and there is a correlation between those people and irregular aptitude test results or initiation simulation results."

Jack shakes his head at me. He clearly doesn't want to believe that the Erudite would kill innocent people for no apparent reason. "While that is intriguing, correlation does not constitute evidence."

"A Dauntless leader shot a Candor child in the head," Tris shouts. "Did you get a report of that? Did it seem 'worthy of investigation'?"

She is attempting to blink back the tears that are threatening to come. She had to sit helpless by and watch this boy get shot in the head right next to her.

"In fact I did," Jack says. "And shooting a child in cold blood is a terrible crime that cannot go unpunished. Fortunately, we have the perpetrator in custody and will be able to put him on trial. However, we must keep in mind that the Dauntless soldiers did not give any evidence of wanting to harm the majority of us, or they would have killed us while we were unconscious."

I cannot believe what I am hearing. These are the fearful ranting of a man who is going to be willing to allow the destruction of a group to save his own hide. Irritated murmurs begin all around us.

"Their peaceful invasion suggests to me that it may be possible to negotiate a peace treaty with the Erudite and the other Dauntless," Jack continues. "So I will arrange a meeting with Jeanine Matthews to discuss that possibility as soon as possible."

Tris snaps, "Their investigation wasn't peaceful." I smile at her and encourage her to continue. "Just because they didn't shoot you all in the head doesn't mean their intentions were somehow honorable. Why do you think they came here? Just to run through your hallways, knock you unconscious, and leave?"

"I assume they came here for people like you," Jack says. "And while I am concerned for your safety, I don't think we can attack them just because they wanted to kill a fraction of our population."

"Killing you is not the worst thing they can do to you," she says. "Controlling you is."

Jack smiles at her, clearly thinking that her theory is ridiculous. "Oh? And how will they manage that?"

"They shot you with needles," I say. "Needles full of simulation transmitters. Simulations control you. That's how."

"We know how simulations work," says Jack. "The transmitter is not a permanent implant. If they intended to control us, they would have done it right away."

Just how naïve can this man be? Most of his faction is walking around with these blue stains under their skin, but none of them have come to the conclusion that Erudite desires to control the entire city through a simulation. They are so worried about self preservation that they don't want to see the big picture. Erudite controlled Dauntless and took out most of Abnegation, the government officials along with the innocent. They raided the Amity compound, and now the Candor compound.

"But…" Tris begins.

He cuts her off, "I know you have been under a lot of stress, Tris and that you have do a great service to your faction and to Abnegation. But I think your traumatic experience may have compromised you ability to be completely objective. I can't launch an attack based on a little girl's speculations."

Tris' whole body starts to shake with rage. Her face is turning red. The fury within me has reached its boiling point and I can feel that I am ready to erupt. We are Dauntless, and it is time for the Dauntless to take matters into our own hands.

"You don't make our decisions for us, Kang." I growl.

All around the Dauntless shout their agreement. Someone else shouts, "You are not the leader of our faction." The shouts grow louder as the Dauntless express their displeasure and desire for revenge.

"That is true. If you want to, you can feel free to storm the Erudite compound by yourselves. But you will do so without our support, and may I remind you, you are greatly outnumbered and unprepared."

We all know he is right, and there is nothing that we can do about it, unless we band with the factionless. They outnumber the Candor and Dauntless combined.

"I thought so," he says. I would love to rip that smug look off of his face. But now is not the time, Jack Kang will get what is coming to him soon enough. "Very well. I will contact Jeanine Matthews, and see if we can negotiate a peace. Any objections?"

The room erupts in a fury from the Dauntless, but Jack doesn't care. He is going to handle this exactly the way he sees fit and there is nothing that we can do about it. I think it may be time for Dauntless to leave Candor.


	17. Chapter 17

I own nothing!

Chapter 17

Following the meeting with Jack Kang, I decide to follow him as he retreats to his office to contact Jeanine Matthews. I follow behind in the shadows so he doesn't notice me so I can hear the full conversation between Jeanine and him. As I approach his office, I see Marcus standing at his door, ready to enter.

"Marcus, how can I help you?" Jack asks.

"I would like to ask you to reconsider your proposal of trying to negotiate with the Erudite. The girl and my son may be impulsive, but they know more about what they are talking about than you realize. Jeanine is dangerous and bend on controlling the city either through fear or force."

"Marcus, you have also been through a traumatic experience, and I am sorry to say that I question your decision making abilities as well. We must attempt to negotiate with the Erudite if we have any chance of surviving."

Visibly frustrated, Marcus snaps, "If that is the way that you will have it, I will be the first to shoot you in the head when she activates the simulation that you and the rest of your faction are currently wired for."

I enter the doorway as Marcus finishes his rant.

"Jack, we need to talk about this," I say.

"Tobias, you are not a leader of Dauntless, there is nothing to discuss here," Jack says.

I lean my hands on his desk and look in dead in the eyes. If he was even remotely intimidated by Marcus, he is terrified of me.

"I am as close to a leader as we have," I growl in a low voice. "You will not only kill the Divergent, you will also kill anyone who was hit with the blue serum. Do you really want the death of your entire faction and what is left of Dauntless on your shoulders?"

"I have to attempt a peaceful resolution to this problem, Tobias. Why is it always the Dauntless way to attack first and ask questions later?"

I lean in so our eyes are only inches apart and growl, "When you watch your friends murder an entire faction because they are under a simulation, then almost murder the woman you love because you are put under a simulation, then you can ask why we want to shoot first and ask questions later. Make the call"

Jack looks from me to Marcus, visibly shaken. I don't look toward Marcus, but I can feel his gaze on me and it angers me even more. He dials presses a series of buttons that connects him with Erudite Headquarters. The phone is a speaker, so Marcus and I will be able to hear the entire exchange.

"Hello, this is Jack Kang from Candor, I would like to speak with Jeanine Matthews."

"This is Ms. Matthews secretary, how may I assist you, Mr. Kang?"

"I must speak with her, I need to meet with her in person as soon as possible."

"I am sorry Mr. Kang, but Ms. Matthews will be unable to meet with you directly. She has instructed me to arrange a meeting between you and one of our representatives."

"And when will this meeting with her representative be happening and where?" Jack asks. You can hear the terror and frustration in his voice now.

"The representative can meet with you tomorrow morning at seven. Is this acceptable?"

"I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I."

"Thank you Mr. Kang. Please keep in mind that this is a peaceful meeting, no armed guards or any weapons should be present."

"I understand."

"Good bye, Mr. Kang. Our representative shall see you in the morning."

With that the connection to Erudite is cut and Jack Kang lets out a long sigh.

"You don't really intend to go to this meeting unarmed, do you?" I ask him.

"Of course, that is the agreement," Jacks says.

"Jack," Marcus interjects. "I don't condone violence, however I have to agree. Meeting with a group of Erudite and Dauntless traitors unarmed is unwise."

I feel myself want to grab Marcus and choke the life out of him. He 'doesn't condone violence'? Really? I breathe in and try to calm myself. I'll take care of this issue once and for all very soon. For right now, I need to focus on Jack.

Marcus continues, "You must at least take a Dauntless escort. They at very least are skilled fighters and are knowledgeable about disarming opponents."

I nod in agreement, "I can advise you on who would best be suited for this task."

"I would prefer older members of Dauntless. Many of you younger members seem to be more impulsive," Jacks says.

"Fine, I'll gather the escorts." With that, I turn and leave. I can't stand being in the same room as Marcus any longer.

XXX

I return to the 'Gathering Place', the room that the Dauntless have taken over as their own. It was used by the Candor for religious services and debates, but it is now where the Dauntless gather.

I walk through the doorway with the white curtain, annoyed. How can this man be so stupid? He is going to walk himself and several Dauntless escorts into an ambush.

I walk toward my friends and sit next to Tris.

"Kang is going to meet with a representative of Jeanine Matthews at seven in the morning," I tell them.

"A representative?" Zeke says. "She's not going herself?"

"Yeah, and stand out in the open where a bunch of angry people with guns can take aim?" Uriah smirks. "I'd like to see her try. No, really, I would."

"Is Kang the Brilliant taking a Dauntless escort, at least?" Lynn asks.

"Yes," I tell her. "Some of the older members have volunteered. Bud said he would keep his ears open and report back."

"So I guess the real question is if you were Erudite, what would you say at this meeting?" Zeke says.

Everyone turns and looks at Tris. Suddenly she has a look of horror on her face.

"What?" she says.

"You're Divergent," Zeke answers.

"So is Tobias."

"Yeah, but he doesn't have aptitude for Erudite."

"And how do you know I do?"

"Seems likely. Doesn't it seem likely?" Zeke says shrugging his shoulders.

Uriah and Lynn nod and I suppress a smile. I can't be encouraging here. I still don't trust her and believe that she currently has a death wish that impairs her thinking.

"You all have functional brains, last time I checked," she complains. "You can think like the Erudite, too."

"But we don't have special Divergent brains!" Marlene interjects. She reaches across the table and touches Tris' head. "Come on, do your magic."

"There is no such thing as Divergent magic, Mar," says Lynn.

"And if there is, we shouldn't be consulting it," says Shauna.

This is the first I have heard Shauna speak in days. She has been avoiding me since the interrogation when I revealed that I am Divergent. She was one of my best friends, someone that I trusted and confided in when I didn't trust others. She was the first to know about me and Tris. She was the one that encouraged me to go for happiness. And now she won't even look at me.

"Shauna," Zeke scolds.

"Don't 'Shauna' me!" she says scowling at Zeke. "Don't you think someone with aptitude for multiple factions might have a loyalty problem? If she's got aptitude for Erudite, how can we be sure she's not working for Erudite?"

I narrow my eyes at Shauna and say in a low voice, "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous." She smacks the table. "I know I belong in Dauntless because everything I did the that aptitude test told me so. I'm loyal to my faction for that reason- because there's nowhere else I could possibly be. But her? And you?" She shake her head at me. "I have no idea who you're loyal to. And I'm not going to pretend like everything's okay."

She gets up without another word and begins to leave. Zeke tries to stop her, but she brushes him aside and storms out of the room. The amount of prejudice we are seeing from people is amazing to me. It is hard to believe that people that were considered friends are now turning on us and treating us like we are contagious or something.

"It's not magic," Tris says sharply. "You just have to ask yourself what the most logical response to a particular situation is."

They all look at her expressionless.

"Seriously," she continues. "If I were in this situation, staring at a group of Dauntless guards and Jack Kang, I probably wouldn't resort to violence, right?"

"Well, you might, if you had your own Dauntless guards. And then all it takes is one shot- bam, he's dead, and Erudite is better off." Says Zeke.

"Whoever they send to talk to Jack Kang isn't going to be some random Erudite kid; it's going to be someone important," Tris says. "It would be a stupid move to fire on Jack Kang and risk losing whoever they send as Jeanine's representative."

"See? This is why we need you to analyze the situation," Zeke says. "If it was me, I would kill him; it would be worth the risk."

"Fine," she says with her head down.

She looks like it is physically painful for her to put herself into Jeanine's shoes. Everything she does lately looks physically painful. I want to reach out and pull her to me, but I don't. I feel myself pulling away from her. I want to love her and keep her safe, but she has another agenda that I'm not privileged to know about. I'm not sure if she even really knows yet.

She continues, "I think that Jeanine Matthews will manipulate him. And that he will do anything to protect his faction, even if it means sacrificing the Divergent. Or sacrificing the Dauntless. So we need to hear what they say in that meeting."

I knew this was going to happen. She is going to make sure she is present at this meeting so she can hear what is going on for herself, and she is going to convince the others that it is a good idea.

The rest of them all look at each other and smile. They are ready to jump in and put their lives on the line without a second thought, typical Dauntless.

Lynn smiles, "So let's listen in."

They all nod and agree. I sit and watch this all unfold before me.

Between the presence of Marcus, Tris' indifference, and the rest of Dauntless provoking me at every turn I feel like someday soon the fire boiling up inside of me is going to explode.


	18. Chapter 18

I own nothing!

Chapter 18

I leave out of Candor, Tris and I are barely speaking anymore so I don't bother to tell her where I am going. I head out toward the factionless sector to speak with Evelyn. Now that Erudite has attacked the Divergent and have most of Candor and half of Dauntless wired for a simulation that they can activate at any moment, we need to do something. An alliance with the factionless is our only hope for survival.

I reach the outskirts of the factionless sector, Evelyn said she would meet me here. I stand there for no more than a moment before I hear her from behind a building. "Tobias, why have you asked to meet me?" Evelyn asks.

"We are going to need help. Erudite has most of Candor and part of Dauntless wired for a simulation that can be activated any time they want, as many times as they want."

"They've engineered a long lasting, serum that can be used multiple times?"

"Yes they have. And they have an entire army in the Candor, just waiting to be put into action."

"I'm sure we can work something out, but we will need the help of the Dauntless. Have you decided to become important?" she asks.

"I don't know if that is possible. The Candor made me admit to what Marcus did to me all those years. The Dauntless are now looking at me like I am a coward." I explain.

"Tobias, perception can be changed. You will need to change their perception of you so that you can become a leader. Once you are a leader, you will have to power and influence to convince them that teaming with us is in your best interest."

I know she is right, and I know what I need to do to show the Dauntless that I am not a coward and am the person that they believe me to be.

XXX

It is the night before the meeting between Jack Kang and the Erudite representative. And apparently Tri and several others will be tagging along without his knowledge to hear what is happening. I can't stand the feeling that she is drifting farther and farther away from me and I can't seem to bring her back to me.

We sit at dinner with Lauren and Lynn. Tris playing with her food, Lynn is making weird mashed potato sandwiches, and Lauren and I are discussing initiate training strategies.

A group of Dauntless walk past the table, they are slightly older that I am. One of the boys leans on the table close to me and whispers, "coward." The others follow his lead and whisper "coward," as they walk past me.

My blood is boiling. I hate Jack Kang for forcing me to let out my secrets, I hate Marcus for doing this to me, I hate the Dauntless for making me feel this way, and I hate myself for waiting so long to stand up to Marcus and put him in his place.

Tris looks at me terrified about what I am going to do. She has no idea that I am not going to go after those guys that I intend to get my revenge on Marcus.

"What idiots," Lauren says. "And the Candor, for making you spill your life story for everyone to see… they're idiots too."

I sit there silently, the fury rising in my gut like hot magma ready to cause me to erupt. I put down the knife that I am holding and push away from the table. I don't focus on anything else because I see Marcus seated on the other side of the room. If I am going to stop the taunting and finally get over my fear of this man, I need to do something about this now.

"This needs to stop," I say to no one in particular. I keep my focus on Marcus and begin striding toward him. I move among the tables methodically and with a purpose. I hear Tris following behind me apologizing to the people that I knock out of the way. I have no idea what she thinks she is going to do. She can't stop me from what I'm about to do. But still she follows.

I reach Marcus' table and reach out and grab him by the back of the neck and pull him from his seat. Marcus begins to say something to me, but I don't hear him, nor do I allow him to speak before I punch him in his mouth. I shove him toward the middle of the room and knock him to the floor. He is covering his mouth trying to cover the damage I have done to his face. I know I knocked out some teeth and possibly broke his jaw. I felt the crack when I hit him.

I press the heel of my boot to his throat. Marcus lies there helplessly smacking at my leg. I want to ask him how it feels to be tortured by someone bigger and stronger than him. I want to ask him if he enjoys this as much as he apparently enjoyed torturing me throughout my childhood. But I don't say a word. Instead I unbuckle my belt and slide it from my pants.

I remove my boot from his throat and pull my arm back ready to strike with the belt.

"This is for your own good," I say to him then let the belt fly. I don't know how many times I hit him with the belt and I don't care. He didn't care about the bruises and scars that he caused on me, and I don't care about him. I am emotionless and calculated. I whip him over and over, hearing nothing but the crack of the belt on his flesh.

After a few moments, I feel Tris' hand on my shoulder. "Stop," she says. "Tobias, stop right now!"

I turn to look at her, still devoid of feelings and emotions. She looks terrified and worried. But right now I just don't care. I drop the belt on the ground and I reach my hand into my pocket. I take out the silver necklace and ring, my mother's wedding band. I drop it on top of him.

"My mother says hello," I growl.

I turn and walk out of the cafeteria.

I hear Tris running up behind me to catch up with me. "What was that?" she demands.

I don't look at her; I just press the button for the elevator.

"It was necessary," I say.

"Necessary for what?" she asks.

"What, you're feeling sorry for him now?" I scowl at her. "Do you know how many times he did that to me? How do you think I learned the moves?"

She looks like she is going to break at any moment, but right now I just don't care. I don't care about anything right now.

"No," she says quietly. "No, I don't feel sorry for him, not at all."

"Then what, Tris?" I snap at her. I am furious with him, with her, with everything and I just don't care anymore. She has broken my heart, broken me completely with her mistrust and distance. And I am just done. "You haven't cared about what I do for say for the past week; what's so different about this?"

"Nothing," she says.

And with that, the elevator door opens. I walk in and push the button to close the door between us. There is nothing more to say here. If she isn't willing to fight for me then there is nothing that I can do for her anymore. It is time for me to turn back into Four and leave Tobias behind. She was the only thing that made me want to be better. Without her, I am the cold, cruel, Dauntless prodigy Four.

After a walk, I return to the Dauntless floor and lie in my bunk and try to sleep. I hear Tris come in and lie down in the bunk next to me. I can't reach out to her, I can't let her get to me like that anymore. I have to let this go.


	19. Chapter 19

I own nothing!

Chapter 19

"Hey, Four," Zeke says. Uriah walks over with him.

"Hey Zeke, Uriah. What's up?"

"We are going to eavesdrop on Jack Kang's meeting. Are you coming?"

"Um… I don't know. Is Tris intending on going?"

"Yeah," says Uriah. "She is going too."

"Have you guys seen her?"

"I have," Lynn says walking over to us. "I handed her a gun and she went pale and went into the bathroom."

"When was this?" I ask.

"About five or ten minutes ago maybe," Lynn says.

I walk out of the room toward the bathroom. I push open the door, "Tris?" I say knocking on the door. I see her in the room, the gun on the floor and her arms wrapped around her stomach. She looks petrified to even be near the gun. I walk into the bathroom and look at her. Seeing her like this makes me even more furious. What happened to my Tris? The girl I love. The girl I would spend the rest of my days with?

"Zeke and Uriah told me you were going to eavesdrop on Jack," I say frankly.

"Oh," is all she can say in response.

"Are you?"

"Why should I tell you? You didn't tell me about your plans."

Lately I can't shake the fury, and frustration that I constantly feel, I know that is partially because of what is happening between me and Tris. I scowl at her, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about beating Marcus to a pulp in front of all the Dauntless for no apparent reason." She steps toward me. "But there is a reason, isn't there? Because it's not like you lost control; it's not like he did something to provoke you, so there has to be a reason!"

"I needed to prove to the Dauntless that I am not a coward. That's all. That's all it was."

"Why would you need to…" suddenly she stops in midsentence. She just stares at me.

I ignore the question and ask her again. "So are you going to eavesdrop or not?"

"What does it matter?" she asks.

"You're throwing yourself into danger for no reason again. Just like when you stormed up to fight the Erudite with only a… a pocket knife to protect yourself!"

"There's a reason. A good one. We won't know what's going on."

I cross my arms and glare at her. Why does she feel like she needs to be the one in the middle of everything? I want to keep her safe. I want her to want to stay safe, even if it is just for me. But she won't even try to stay safe for me. She has no regard for herself or for me and that thought enrages me further.

"You're not cutting your hair like the Abnegation anymore," she says. "That because you want to look more Dauntless?"

I glare at her, "Don't change the subject. There are four people going to eavesdrop already. You don't need to be there."

"Why are you so insistent on me staying home?" she asks. "I am not the kind of person who just sits back and lets other people take all the risks!"

"As long as you are someone who doesn't seem to value her own life… someone who can't even pick up a fire a gun…" I lean toward her and quietly say, "You should sit back and let other people take the risks."

"What are you going to do? Lock me in the bathroom? Because that's the only way you'll be able to keep me from going."

Why doesn't she want to stay safe and give me one less thing to worry about? Why doesn't she see that if I lose her that it will kill me? Why doesn't she care? I put my hand to my face and rub my face. I feel so completely defeated. I'm exhausted, from this war, from her attitude, from everything.

"I don't want to stop you. I want you to stop yourself," he says. "But if you're going to be reckless, you can't prevent me from coming along."

She just looks at me as though she didn't expect anything different from me. This angers me even more. I turn and storm out of the bathroom. I want the days before initiation was over, the days before the war back so I can have my love back, my Tris. But now I'm beginning to wonder if I actually ever knew her. Has she always been this reckless? I don't know.

XXX

We leave Candor just before dawn. We reach the bridge where Jack will be meeting the Erudite representative. The bridge is two-tiered, so we will position ourselves on the lower tier just under the center of the bridge where Jack will meet the Erudite.

Uriah and Zeke are positioned in the buildings on either side of the bridge with Lynn, Shauna, Tris, and me on the lower level of the bridge. We squeeze between the girders under the bridge, it is a tight fit and I can see that Tris is struggling. She still has little strength in her right arm and is using her left to do most of the work. I place my hand on her waist to steady her when I notice her wobble.

When we stop, we are crouched between girders and are going to have to remain in this position for an indefinite period of time. I slide my leg under Tris and onto the second girder; this should steady her and keep her safe. She looks at me and smiles a thank you. This is the first time she has smiled at me in more than a week. Her smile reminds me why I love her so much. I smile back, but the smile doesn't reach my eyes.

We crouch in this position for a long time, remaining in silence.

Finally we hear footsteps above us as they echo across the bridge. Based on the direction they are coming from, it must be Jack and his Dauntless escort. I informed Bob and the other Dauntless that we would be here as backup, but we didn't feel it wise to inform Jack.

I check my watch and show it to Tris, it is exactly seven o'clock. Just as I look up, I see feet pass over us. It is Max, one of the Dauntless leaders. This is the man that lead our faction in to murder and death without our knowledge. The man who took it upon himself to decide what was best for an entire faction and destroy it for personal gain.

"Hello, Jack," he says.

"Max," Jack says coldly. "Where's Jeanine? I thought she would at least have the courtesy to show up herself."

"Jeanine and I divide our responsibilities according to our strengths," Max says. "That means I make all military decisions. I believe that includes what we are doing today."

I have known Max for years. I have talked to him more times than I can count and I can tell that there is something wrong. He doesn't sound right, he sounds stiff, like an Erudite.

"Fine," Jack scoffs. "I came to…"

"I should inform you that this will not be a negotiation." Max says. "In order to negotiate, you have to be on even footing, and you, Jack, are not."

I knew this would happen. I told Jack that they would not negotiate with him. I told him that he needed to handle this differently, from a military stand point. Sometimes I hate it when I am right.

"What do you mean?" Jack asks.

"I mean that you are the only disposable faction. Candor does not provide us with protection, sustenance, or technological innovation. Therefore you are expendable to us. And you have not done much to win the favor of tour Dauntless guests so you are completely vulnerable and completely useless. I recommend, therefore, that you do exactly as I say."

"You piece of scum," Jack says. "How dare…"

"Now let's not get testy," Max says.

Testy? Max would never say a word like Testy. He is acting differently, like he is under a simulation and he is being told what to say and how to behave. There has to be someone feeding him the lines he is saying. I have no idea how though.

Tris looks at me and points to her ear and then points at Max. What does she think? That he is wearing an ear piece? I guess that would make sense, Jeanine wouldn't trust just anyone to handle this meeting. I frown and nod to her.

"I have three requirements," Max explains. "First, that you will return the Dauntless leader you currently hold in captivity unharmed. Second, that you allow your compound to be searched by our soldiers so that we can extract the Divergent; and third, that you provide us with the names of those who were not injected with the simulation serum."

"Why?" Jack asks. He knows that he has no ground to stand on now. "What are you searching for? And why do you need those names? What do you intend to do with them?"

"The purpose of our search would be to locate and remove any of the Divergent from the premises. And as for the names, that is none of your concern."

"None of my concern!" Jack yells, he walks up to Max and grabs him by the shirt.

"Release me," Max orders. "Or I will order my guards to fire."

If Max is under a simulation like I think and is wearing an ear piece like Tris suggests, Jeanine must be close by. That is the only way she could possibly know that Jack grabbed Max's shirt.

Tris starts to climb backward and I follow behind her. We are inching our way to the stairs when we see Shauna stop and look at Lynn. Lynn has taken her gun out and is ready to swing herself forward grabbing the lip of the bridge. She squeezes the trigger on her gun and fires a shot at Max. She hit him right in the chest.

We stop climbing and drop down into the muck under the bridge. It is thick and consumes our feet and shoes. Tris loses her shoes as she move through the muck avoiding the gun shots being fired above us. She throws herself against a wall and I cover her completely with my body to shield her.

I know Jeanine is close by, but it would be safer to get Tris and the others back to Candor.

"Come on!" Tris says as she sprints up the stairs.

I look across the bridge and see our Dauntless take out the Dauntless traitors and I see that Jack is safe. Tris runs across the bridge ahead of me and we can see three figures in the alley just ahead. She recognized one of the figures and yells, "Peter!"

He lifts his gun toward her and I lift mine. I know I am faster and a better shot than Peter. I can take him out right now, but not before his companions escape. If I fire on the one that appears to be Jeanine, then Peter will shoot and kill Tris. I have no choice but to allow this to be a standoff in order to protect her.

Tris hesitates like she wants to run after them, but I grab her shoulder and hold her so she can't move.

"You traitor," she yells at Peter. "I knew it! I knew it!"

There is a scream behind us, something has happened to one of the girls.

"Sounds like your friends need you," Peter says. "So you have a choice. You can let us go, and help them, or you can die trying to follow us."

"I hope you die," Tris says.

She backs up into me and we back up toward the scream together. Then we turn and run.


	20. Chapter 20

I own nothing!

Chapter 20

We run toward the screams and find Shauna lying facedown on the ground in a pool of her own blood.

Lynn sits in front of her, seemingly in shock, "It's my fault. I shouldn't have shot him. I shouldn't have…" Her voice trails off.

She has a bullet wound to her back. I go over to her and check for a pulse and nod to Tris.

"We've got to get out of here. Lynn. Look at me. I'm going to carry her, and it's going to hurt her a lot. But it's our only option."

Lynn nods at me. I crouch down and lift Shauna into my arms and over my shoulder as gently as I can. Shauna moans slightly, she is alive for now. The thoughts in my mind are flying a million miles an hour. I can't focus on anything except for getting Shauna to safety. She has been my friend since initiation. I taught her how to fight, she helped me to forget my past and to look at the future. She helped me to realize my feelings for Tris and encouraged me to talk to her and get to know her. I can't lose Shauna.

We walk back to the Merciless Mart with Lynn walking out in front, gun drawn and Tris in the back keep watch from behind.

Uriah comes jogging toward us. "Hey," he yells. "Zeke had to help them get Jack… oh no," he stops. "Oh no, Shauna?"

"Now's not the time," I tell him harshly. I'm struggling here and scared to death that I am not going to get her back in time. I tell him, "Run back to the Merciless Mart and get a doctor."

Uriah stares at Shauna in disbelief.

"Uriah. Go NOW!" I say forcefully. He turns quickly and runs back to the Candor compound.

The trip is only about a half mile, but it seems so much farther. I'm struggling under Shauna's unconscious weight. Shauna is bleeding to death in my arms and there is nothing that I can do about it. I can't go any faster than I am right now.

When we finally reach the doors, Uriah is waiting with an Erudite doctor and another Erudite woman. I lower Shauna onto a sheet that they have ready and the doctor immediately gets to work helping her.

I turn away toward Tris, "I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on with you. But if you senselessly rish your life again…"

"I'm not senselessly risking my life," she says. "I am trying to make _sacrifices_, like my parents would have, like…"

"You are _not_ your parents. You are a sixteen year old girl…"

She stares at me, "How dare you."

I finish, "…who doesn't understand that the value of a sacrifice like in its necessity, not in throwing your life away! And if you do that again, you and I are done."

She looks at me shocked. Tears build in her eyes, "You're giving me an ultimatum?"

I shake my head at her, "No, I'm telling you a fact. If you throw yourself into danger for no reason again, you will become nothing more than a Dauntless adrenaline junkie looking for a hit, and I'm not going to help you do it." I am so angry and hurt now. My love isn't enough for her to want to fight for her life and our life together. The thought makes me bitter. "I love Tris the Divergent, who makes decisions apart from faction loyalty, who isn't some faction archetype. But the Tris who's trying as hard as she can to destroy herself… I can't love her."

She stands there in bewildered silence. Her whole body is trembling and I can't tell if she knows I'm right or not. I move toward her and touch my forehead to hers and close my eyes. Why isn't my love enough for her? I just don't understand. I can feel the emotion building in me and the tears threatening to fall. I won't let them fall.

I move my mouth close to hers, "I believe you're still in there." I say, my lips touching hers, "Come back."

I kiss her lightly and walk away back to Shauna's side.

The doctor has removed the bullet and stopped the blood loss, but she is still in very bad shape.

I decide to go for a walk to find Zeke, he needs to be here.

He is outside walking back toward Merciless Mart.

"Zeke, come in here quick. Shauna was shot," I yell to him.

"What? What happened?" he asks with a terrified expression.

"She was shot in the back by one of the Dauntless traitors. I carried her back. She's lost a lot of blood. They removed the bullet and have stopped the blood, but she is still in really bad shape."

"Where is she?"

"In the lobby. Lynn, Hec, and their parents are in there.

He takes off running toward the lobby and I stay outside and just breathe. I can't believe that I told Tris we were done if she doesn't stop. I know I mean it, I know I can't go through this with her forever. But I can't stop loving her either.

XXX

I return to the Dauntless room where we are bunking. All of the Dauntless are gathered in the rows between the beds. We are about to discuss the meeting between Jack and the Erudite. There is no doubt in my mind that he is going to cave into their demands. Now we have to decide what to do next.

Across from me Tris sits near Tori. I can't get our problems out of my mind. I wish she would come back to me.

"What were the terms?" I hear Tori ask. I can see out of the corner of my eye that she is looking at me, expecting me to answer, but I pay no attention to her. I stare at the floor and am lost in my own thoughts.

Tris clears her throat and that snaps me out of my daze slightly, "There were three. Return Eric to the Erudite. Report the names of all people who did not get shot with needles last time. And deliver the Divergent to Erudite headquarters."

"If Jack Kang is making deals with Erudite, we can't stay here," Tori says. "So where can we go?"

Everyone looks around at each other. There is only one choice for us. We have to go home. We have to go back to Dauntless.

"Home," I say lifting my head. The room is silent, and I continue, "We should take back what's ours. We can break the security cameras in Dauntless headquarters so the Erudite can't see us. We should go home."

Someone in the crowd assents with a shout and several others join in.

"But before we do that," Bud says, "we need to decide what to do about Eric. To let him stay here with the Erudite, or to execute him."

"Eric is Dauntless," Lauren says. "That means we decide what happens to him. Not Candor."

"According to Dauntless law, only Dauntless leaders can perform an execution. All five of our former leaders are Dauntless traitors," Tori says. "So I think it's time we pick new ones. The law says we need more than one, and we need an odd number. If you've got suggestions, you should shout them out now, and we'll vote if we need to."

"You!" someone shouts.

"Okay, anyone else?" she asks.

In order for me to effectively end this war, I will need to become a leader somehow. I never wanted this before and I'm not sure I want it now, but it may be a necessity.

Marlene speaks up next to me, "Tris!"

What? She has been Dauntless for all of a month. Although she would be a good leader, I don't think her suicidal ways would be good for decision making right now.

"Harrison," someone else says.

Everyone is quiet for a moment and Tori speaks up, "I'm going to nominate Four."

No one disagrees although I hear a couple comments that anger me.

"We only need three leaders," Tori says. "We'll have to vote."

I look over at Tris sadly. Her recklessness has made her popular with the Dauntless, not her brilliance. They don't know how wonderful, selfless, brilliant, and brave she is. They only know that she almost got herself killed and managed to wound Eric in the process.

"No," she says. I stare at her confused. What is she doing? "No, you don't have to vote. I refuse my nomination."

"Are you sure, Tris?" Tori asks a little confused.

"Yes," she says, glancing at me. "I don't want it. I'm sure."

And that is it. I am a Dauntless leader. I never wanted this before. But now this is who I am.

**Sorry for my hiatus from this story. I got so caught up in the Abnegation story that I just let this one sit here. Hopefully I can get some more chapters going for this one and get both stories completed soon. Thanks for the reviews!**


	21. Chapter 21

I own nothing!

Chapter 21

Moments after the leaders are chosen Jack Kang gets on the intercom system and begins to talk.

"Attention all occupants of Candor headquarters. A few hours ago I met with a representative of Jeanine Matthews. He reminded me that we Candor are in a weak position, dependent on Erudite for our survival, and told me that if I intend to keep my faction free, I will have to meet a few demands."

We all stare up at the intercom listening intently to what he has to say. Listening to his words infuriates me. Of course he is going to give into Erudite's demands. He's a damn coward that refuses to look at the big picture. It isn't just about individual factions, it is about the survival of all factions. Why is it the only people that understand this are the Dauntless and Abnegation?

"In order to comply with these demands, I ask that everyone make their way to the Gathering Place to report whether you have an implant or not," Jack says. "The Erudite have also ordered all Divergent to be turned over to Erudite. I do not know for what purpose."

His message ends with the same bell sounds that it began with.

Suddenly all of the Dauntless begin to pack their belongings. They know what this means, we can't stay here any longer. We need to get out, and we need to do it now. But there is one thing we have to take care of first, we have to get rid of Eric.

XXX

We drag him to the interrogation room and sit him in the chair in the center of the room. All of the Dauntless surround the chair in a semi-circle. He sits slumped in the chair looking pale and unhealthy, like he is dying. He stares at me with contempt with a sadistic smile on his face. He is still trying to be intimidating even though he knows he faces death.

"Would you like me to tell you your crimes?" Tori asks. "Or would you like to list them yourself?"

I keep my glare trained on Eric, but I am acutely aware of what is happening around me. It is pouring rain outside, sometimes the mist can be felt through the holes in the walls. Little waterfalls stream down the walls from the holes. The sound is relaxing and it reminds me of the chasm in Dauntless.

I can't wait to be done with this and to go home. I want my life back to the way it was supposed to be. I want what I had before all this began my life in Dauntless with Tris at my side. At this point, I don't even know if Tris is on my side anymore. She stepped down as leader, but that doesn't mean that she is going to stop being so reckless and come back to me. I glance toward her and see her glaring at Eric.

I look back at him. He scans the crowd and settles his eyes on her. He folds his hands and sets them on his abdomen where Tris stabbed him. "I'd like _her_ to list them. Since she's the one who stabbed me, clearly she is familiar with them."

I don't know what he thinks he's doing, but he isn't going to bring her into this. I'm not going to allow him to try to get to her in his last moments.

"Leave her out of this," I say.

"Why? Because you're doing her?" Eric smirks. "Oh wait, I forgot. Stiffs don't do that sort of thing. They just tie each other's shoes and cut each other's hair."

I glare at him without feeling. I realize quickly that he isn't trying to get to her. It is about me, it has always been about me when it comes to Eric. Everything that he has done since our initiation was meant to throw me off. To have some kind of adverse effect on me.

"I want her to list them," repeats Eric.

Tris begins to speak, calmly and evenly, "You conspired with Erudite. You are responsible for the deaths of hundreds of Abnegation." She continues to list his offenses and she quickly becomes angry. "You betrayed Dauntless. You shot a child in the head. You are a ridiculous plaything of Jeanine Matthews."

He stops smiling at her last words.

"Do I deserve to die?" he says.

I begin to speak, but Tris cuts me off before I have a chance to get a word out.

She simply says, "Yes."

"Fair enough. But do you have the right to decide that, Beatrice Prior? Like you decided the fate of that other boy- what was his name? Will?"

She doesn't say a word. She looks defeated and sad at the mention of Will's name. She looks like she is about to break down. I step forward, even though she and I aren't okay right now, I'll never allow anyone to hurt her. No matter what happens I will always love her.

"You have committed every crime that warrants execution among the Dauntless," I bark at him. "_We_ have the right to execute you, under the laws of Dauntless."

I crouch down in front of me where three guns sit on the floor. I empty each of the guns of all of their bullets. I take one of the guns and place a single bullet in the chamber. I replace the guns to the floor and move them around to mix them up. Under Dauntless law, the leaders have the right to execute a criminal. All of the leaders receive a gun, but only one gun has a bullet in it. All three of us will fire at the same time but none of us will know which gun has the bullet in it until it is too late.

I pick up the guns and offer one to Tori and the other to Harrison. I don't remember which gun has the bullet in it, but I have a feeling that it is the one that I am holding.

I think about everything that has happened because of Eric. Everything that he has done from the time that we were initiates to what he has done recently. Every memory that comes back to me infuriates me further. It fuels my hatred for him and makes it easier to pull the trigger. He is evil, he killed hundreds and enslaved hundreds. It is because of him that all of this is happening. If the leaders had not teamed up with Erudite, if they had any backbone what so ever, we would not be in this situation.

We all stand ready to pull the trigger when Eric suddenly speaks.

"Wait," he says. "I have a request."

"We don't take requests from criminals," Tori says.

"I'm a leader of Dauntless," he says. "And all I want is for Four to be the one that fires the bullet."

At this point I'd love to. My hatred is boiling over in me right now. Every bad thing that has happened to me for the past two years is a direct result of Eric trying to interfere in my life and make my life miserable.

"Why?"

"So you can live with the guilt," Eric says. "Of knowing that you usurped me and then shot me in the head."

He wants to see me break. He thinks that I won't be able to handle being the one to kill him. Then I look at Tris and think about all of the trouble we are having. If the simulation had never happened, these problems wouldn't have happened. Her parents would still be here, she wouldn't have killed Will and be beating herself up over all of it. She blames herself for all of their deaths, and I blame him.

"There won't be any guilt," I say flatly.

"Then you'll have no problem doing it," Eric smirks.

I lean down and pick up a bullet in my hands. I open the chamber of my gun and load it. I wasn't the one with the loaded gun after all.

"Tell me," Eric whispers, "because I've always wondered. Is it your daddy who shows up in every fear landscape you've ever gone through?"

I don't look at him. I finish loading the bullet in the gun.

"You didn't like that question?" Eric scoffs. "What, afraid the Dauntless are going to change their minds about you? Realize that even though you've only got four fears, your still a coward?"

I glare at him with all of the contempt that I have ever had for anyone.

He sits up straight in the chair and smirks at me like he has won. But he hasn't won anything.

I hold the gun out in front of me and aim for the center of his forehead.

"Eric," I say, "be brave."

I pull the trigger and Eric slumps in the chair.


	22. Chapter 22

I own nothing!

Chapter 22

We begin to exit the interrogation room and all of the Dauntless begin to run down the halls toward the stairs to leave here. We will return to Dauntless and take back our home.

I come up behind Tris and place my hand in the center of shoulders. She looks defeated like she is thinking about Will and her parents and the way they died. I know that seeing Eric shot and killed the same way Will was shot didn't help her.

We move as one down to the stairs. The doors open and Jack Kang stands in front of us looking terrified and angry.

"What have you done?" he asks. "I was just told that Eric is missing from his holding cell."

"He was under our jurisdiction," Tori says. "We gave him a trial and executed him. You should be thanking us."

"Why…" Jack looks like he is going to explode. His face turns blood red. "Why should I be thanking you?"

"Because you wanted him executed too, right? Since he murdered one of your children?" Tori asks innocently. "We took care of it for you. And now, if you'll excuse us, we're leaving."

"Wha- _Leaving_?" Jack says. "I can't let you do that."

I snicker to myself. We have killed Eric, that was one of Erudite's demands. Now if we leave, he can't deliver the Divergent to Jeanine. He is terrified that he isn't going to be able to fulfill the demands of Erudite.

"You don't let us do anything," I say. "If you don't step aside, we will be forced to walk over you instead of past you."

"Didn't you come here to find allies?" Jack asks incredulously. "If you do this, we will side with Erudite, I promise you, and you will never find an ally in us again, you…"

Yeah, because he is really our ally. He is ready to turn some of us over to the Erudite to be tested and the rest of us to be implanted with the simulation that the rest of them are implanted with.

"We don't need you as an ally," Tori says. "We're Dauntless."

The entire crowd of Dauntless presses forward and pushes past Jack. We descend the stairs running toward the lobby. We stream past all of the Erudite and Candor that stand in the hall. I front of me I see a blond woman from Erudite grab Tris by the arm, it is Will's sister. I stop to see what this is about.

"Where are you going?" the woman asks.

"Dauntless headquarters," Tris replies. She tries to pull her arm free but the woman has a tight grip on her and won't let go. Tris keeps her eyes trained on the floor. "Go to Amity," Tris tells her. "They promised safety to anyone who wants it. You won't be safe here." The woman releases Tris looking confused and upset.

We run out of the building hooting and hollering all the way to the trains. We're going home. We're going back to Dauntless.

XXX

We walk into Dauntless and Bud immediately goes to get the paintball guns to start shooting the cameras around the compound with colorful balls of paint. I walk across the glass room above the Pit and see Tris standing by the chasm. She looks down in, staring at the crashing waves on the walls. I wish I knew what she was thinking about. I wish I knew how to reach her and let her know how much I love her and want her to come back to me.

Tori calls to me from one of the leader's offices and I turn my gaze from Tris and to the door that Tori and Harrison wait for me behind.

"We need to make some decisions about what is going to happen next. We can't keep hiding from the Erudite. We are going to have to take them out," Tori says.

"Yes, but they out number us at least two to one when you combine the Erudite and Dauntless traitors," Harrison says.

"What about the factionless?" I ask. "They have double the numbers of Dauntless. If we could work with them to take out Erudite…"

I'm not sure this is the best idea, but I almost feel like it is the only idea. We can't win this war without some help. The other factions aren't going to help us at all. Amity is too worried about peace, as if ignoring war will suddenly make things peaceful. And Candor was ready to turn us over to Erudite without a second thought when they were threatened even just a little. The factionless are the only ones left to help us.

"Are you sure Four? Can we trust them?" Tori asks.

"I don't think we can really trust anyone, but choice do we have? We can't do this on our own and no one else is going to help. It is up to us to stop the tyranny of Erudite."

"Can you set up a meeting with their leader?" Harrison asks."I won't be comfortable agreeing to anything without meeting with them first."

"I can definitely set something up, soon," I say.

I walk out of the office and across the pire again. I immediately spot Tris running around with a paintball gun shooting at Zeke and Marlene. They look like they are having fun letting off some steam. I look into the pit through the glass floor and see that all of Dauntless is having a paintball battle. All of the cameras seem to be covered, now all of the people are covered too. It makes me remember why I can be happy here. And I remember what Dauntless is supposed to be about. I can help change it back to the way it's supposed to be.


	23. Chapter 23

I own nothing!

Chapter 23

After the meeting with Tori and Harrison, I am more anxious about working with the factionless. It could be good because we have the numbers, but there is a nagging feeling that I keep having that I can't trust Evelyn.

I decide to go through my fear landscape. Ever since I beat up Marcus I have been curious if he is still there.

I take a syringe and make my way to the fear simulation room. I set everything up and plunge myself into my fears.

I find myself on the rooftop with the wind blowing as always. Same fear of heights, same result. I have to jump to force this fear to move on. It's almost getting to easy for me to get through this one now. I take off running toward the edge of the building, breathe in deeply and jump. Just before I hit the ground, the simulation changes.

Next I find myself in the box. Two fears down and they are exactly the same. I squat down to make the box smaller. What gets me through this one is thinking about the last time I was here, with Tris. Her heart was hammering being so close to me. She was so intimidated about being here with me, but she still managed to help me through. As I think about her, a smile crosses my face and the box disintegrates and I'm sitting on the floor thinking about her.

The simulation moves to the next fear. This should be where I have to shoot the faceless woman. But as I stand there and look around, something strikes me. The fear has changed. There is no table with a gun, there is no faceless woman standing before me. What I see in front of me is Tris. She is being tortured and I am strapped to a chair. I scream and yell to be released, but am helpless. I can do nothing but watch as she is tortured. They slowly begin to cut small incisions into her skin causing her to scream from pain and fear. This continues as the slices become deeper and more detrimental. I am powerless to do nothing. She screams for help, she looks pleadingly into my eyes as I struggle against my restraints. When I finally free myself, I run to her and try to save her, but it's too late. She's gone and there's nothing that I could do about it.

The simulation moves on again, but I'm still shaken by what I just witnessed. My simulation has changed and now one of my fears is losing her.

I look around, expecting to see Marcus with a belt ready to strike. Marcus appears, but the belt is no longer there. Now I see Marcus with Tris. They appear to be friendly and working together. She smiles toward me, a glint in her eyes. Seeing the two of them in front of me, infuriates me more than causes any type of fear. But maybe the fear is that she is right about him and I refuse to acknowledge it. I run to her and pull her away from him and wrap her in my arms. I need this again. I need her near me. But as soon as she is in my arms, she's gone and I'm back in the fear landscape room.

Four fears, as always, but the last two have changed significantly and both have changed to include her. I need to figure out what this means.

I make my way to the training room. I haven't done this in a long time, but this is the best place that I've found to think. I start of lightly punching the punching bag. But soon my thoughts begin to wander to everything that has happened up to this point. The worst is losing Tris to whatever demons are festering inside of her that makes her feel like her life is only worth something if she sacrifices it. I don't know how to make her see that she is worth so much more than that.

She doesn't forgive herself for what happened to Will and I know that Christina not forgiving her doesn't help the situation at all.

As I think I punch the bag.

Harder and harder I punch and kick the bag until my knuckles are split open and my feet and knees are sore.

I kick and punch with so much might, that eventually I break the chains on the bag. The last time that I did that was during Tris' initiation during the first round of fights.

I move to another bag and continue.

Eric had angered me, as he so often did. I despised that man, he was pure evil and I rid the world of that evil. {punch… kick}

He thought that he would make me regret killing him. He thought I would beat myself up over it. {kick… elbow… punch}

He thought he could win, but it doesn't matter to me that I killed him. {jab… punch… jab}

What matters to me is how easily I was able to pick up that gun and shoot him like his life meant nothing. {kick… punch… jab}

But his life meant nothing… to me. I didn't care about his life so it was easy to take it. Like he was a bug that needed crushed. And I crushed him. {punch… kick… jab}

Then my mind shifts from Eric to Evelyn. My neglectful mother. The woman who left me with an abusive father. {kick… punch… kick}

She wants to join forces, but I don't completely trust her. But I want to. I want to believe that she is the mother that I fantasized about when I was young and locked up in the tiny closet. I want her to be the mother that I dreamed she was. Perfect and loving without any ulterior motives. But is she? It certainly seems like she only wants to be part of my life because I can help her with her goals. {punch… kick… punch…}

I think I may need to go there and feel the situation out. {punch… snap}

I have broken a second bag. My knuckles are bleeding all over the floor. Both bags lay on the ground, I'll have to fix them later. I need to go find Tris.

XXX

I enter the cafeteria and see Tris sitting at her usual table with all of our friends. They all look calm and easy.

Marlene leans in and kisses Uriah and when they pull back they have that puppy love look in their eyes. Lynn gets up angrily and storms out of the cafeteria almost knocking each other over.

"Four!" Zeke yells to me from his seat. I walk over to him feeling relieved that I don't have to approach uninvited. "C'mere, there's room."

I walk behind Tris and place my hand on her left shoulder, careful to avoid the gunshot wound. "Sorry, can't stay."

I see her look at my knuckles, I cleaned off most of the blood but they are still split and bleeding a little.

I lean down and whisper, "Can I borrow you for a while?"

She stands and waves to Zeke and we leave the cafeteria together.

"Where are we going?" she asks.

"The train," I say. "I have a meeting, and I want you to help me read the situation."

We walk together to the Pire and out to the trains. Our time spent together used to be so easy, even when it was quiet between us. How the silence is almost deafening. I can't stand the way this feels and how I my mind is constantly wandering to our troubles.

"Why do you need me to…"

"Because you are better at it than I am," I say.

We reach the Pire and walk past the fear landscape room. I notice that I left and empty syringe lying on the ground outside the door. Now she's going to know that I've been there today. No one else would choose now to go through their landscape.

"Did you go through your fear landscape today?"

"What makes you say that?" I ask. My eyes skirt hers in anticipation for what she's going to say. I push the doors open and lead the way out into the summer air.

"Your knuckles are cut up and someone's been using that room."

"This is exactly what I mean. You're far more perceptive than most." I don't make eye contact with her. I look down and check my watch, "They told me to catch the one leaving at 8:05. Come on."

I don't respond to her inquiries, I just take her hand and drag her toward the trains. The last time we were on a train alone together, it was one of the best nights of my life. It was the first time that we were really affectionate with one another. More than just a kiss happened that night. That is the night that I knew that I could be in love with her. That she opened herself up to me and wasn't afraid of what was going to happen. We were together and we were happy.

Now we are on a train heading to the factionless, to meet with Evelyn.

Tris turns to me. "Perceptive enough to know you're evading the question."

I sigh but I still don't look at her, "Yes, I went through my fear landscape. I wanted to see if it had changed."

"And is has. Hasn't it?"

I brush the hair away that has blown into my face. It is much longer than I usually keep it. I still won't make eye contact with her. But I feel her gaze is on me the entire time we are talking.

"Yes. But the number is still the same."

The train roars toward us, a rolling monument to the disintegration of our society. In spite of all of the war, fighting, and chaos the trains still move throughout the city. They never cease, now only transporting the ghosts of a better, less chaotic time.

"Fifth car back," I shout over the roar of the train.

We both run in pace with the train, finding the fifth car back. Tris grabs the handle and attempts to pull herself into the train, but she slips. She almost falls under the train, being taken under by the wheels. She manages to pull herself inside, but she seems to have injured herself. I pull myself in after her and crouch down to inspect her injury.

"Here, let me see," I tell her. She sliced a chunk of skin out of her knee, but it's nothing that won't heal rather quickly. This is the closest that I've been to her for a long time. I want nothing more than to pull her into me and feel her body pressed against mine. But I can't, there are too many secrets between us. Too much has happened. I want her back, but if she can't relent and trust me, then I can't open myself to her like that again.

"It's shallow. It will heal quickly," I say to her.

She nods her head and lies back and looks at the ceiling of the train car. "So, is he still in your fear landscape?"

"Yes," I tell her. "But not in the same way." He pauses and doesn't say anything for a few moments, then he continues. "You're in it, though. Instead of having to shoot that woman, like I used to, I have to watch you die. And there's nothing I can do to stop it."

She stares at me and although I refuse to make eye contact with her, I can feel her eyes on me for a long time.

I look down and check my watch, "They'll be here any minute."

She stands and looks out the door next to me. We are coming up on two people standing next to the tracks, Evelyn and Edward.

They climb inside of the train car and Edward immediately smirks at Tris. Seeing him look at her infuriates me. Even if things aren't right with us right now, I still love her.

Evelyn looks at me, but doesn't acknowledge Tris standing there. "Hello."

"Nice meeting location," I say.

"It seemed safest," Evelyn says. "So you wanted to meet?"

"Yes. I'd like to discuss an alliance."

"An alliance," Edward says questioningly. "And who gave you the authority to do that?"

Tris speaks up on my behalf, "He's a Dauntless leader. He has the authority."

Edward looks at me with almost an impressed look on his face.

Evelyn looks toward Tris for the first time and turns to smile at me, "Interesting. And is she also a Dauntless leader?"

"No," I say flatly. "She's here to help me decide whether or not to trust you."

Tris smiles slightly at my words but she doesn't say anything. Apparently she's happy that I trust her enough to ask for her opinion about this.

"We will, of course, agree to an alliance… under certain conditions," Evelyn says. "A guaranteed- and equal- place in whatever government forms after Erudite is destroyed, and full control over Erudite data after the attack. Clearly…"

"What are you going to do with the Erudite data?" Tris interrupts.

That is a good question, but I want to know what she's thinking. I can't see any bad to destroying the data that Erudite has collected.

"Obviously we will destroy it. The only way to deprive the Erudite of power is to deprive them of knowledge."

"What would we receive in return under those terms?" I ask.

I know that I can think of certain types of information that we shouldn't destroy such as food stores, medication, and other technology that helps our society. But I want to see where Evelyn is going to take this.

"Our much needed manpower, in order to take Erudite headquarters, and an equal place in government, with us."

"I'm sure Tori would also request the right to rid the world of Jeanine Matthews," I say quietly.

"I'm sure that could be arranged," Evelyn says. "I don't care who kills her; I just want her dead."

I glance toward Tris and can tell that she's not on board with this at all. She looks conflicted and not convinced of Evelyn's allegiance with Dauntless. But I feel this is the best scenario for what we need to get accomplished. Besides, Evelyn is my mother. Maybe she did take off, but she's here now. This could be a good thing.

I turn my attention to Evelyn, "Then we are agreed."

I extend my hand and she takes it.

"We should convene in a week's time, in neutral territory. Most of the Abnegation have graciously agreed to let us stay in their sector of the city to plan as they clean up the aftermath of the attack."

"Most of them?" I ask.

"I'm afraid your father still commands the loyalty of many of them, and he advised them to avoid us when he came to visit a few days ago. And they agreed, just as they did when he persuaded them to exile me."

"They exiled you?" I asks furiously. "I thought you left."

All of my childhood I thought she was dead. When I found out she was alive, I thought she left because she wanted to and chose not to save me from that man. Now I find that they threw her out? I don't know what to feel about this. I have hated her for so long.

"No, the Abnegation were inclined toward forgiveness and reconciliation, as you might expect. But your father has a lot of influence over the Abnegation, and he always has. I decided to leave rather than face the indignity of public exile."

I look at her stunned, not sure whether I should believe what she is telling me or not. If she is telling the truth, this changes everything that I ever thought about her, I could have a family again.

Edward leans outside of the car. He turns and announces, "It's time!"

"See you in a week," Evelyn says.

They both depart the train just as they entered it. I sit in silence taking in what she just said about leaving not completely being her choice. Maybe she didn't choose to leave me after all. Maybe she wasn't as bad a mother as I thought.

After a few moments of silence, Tris speaks up. "Why did you even bring me along, if you were just going to make an alliance anyway?" She seems angry.

"You didn't stop me."

"What was I supposed to do, wave my hands in the air?" she scowls at me. "I don't like it."

"It has to be done," I respond flatly. She doesn't understand what needs to be done here. And hopefully this alliance will keep her safe and away from the fighting.

"I don't think it does. There has to be another way…" she says

"What other way?" I asks cutting her off. "You just don't like her. You haven't since you first met her."

"Obviously I don't like her! She abandoned you."

"They exiled her. And if I decide to forgive her, you had better try to do it too! I'm the one who got left behind, not you."

"This is more than that. I don't trust her. I think she's trying to use you."

"Well, it isn't for you to decide."

Her words are infuriating me. She's my mother and if I decide to trust her, she should accept that. But I did bring her to help me see through any charade. Why am I not trusting her words right now?

"Why did you bring me again?" she folds her arms and glares at me. "Oh yeah- so that I could read the situation for you. Well, I read it, and just because you don't like what I decided doesn't mean…"

"I forgot about how your biases cloud your judgment. If I had remembered, I might not have brought you."

"My biases. What about your biases? What about thinking everyone who hates your father as much as you do is an ally?"

"This is not about him," I insist.

"Of course it is! He knows things, Tobias. And we should be trying to find out what they are."

"This again? I thought we resolved this. He is a liar, Tris."

"Yeah? Well, so is your mother. You think the Abnegation would really exile someone? Because I don't."

"Don't talk about my mother that way."

I don't know what compels me to defend my mother this way, other than the fact that she's my mother. I so desperately want to have one parent that isn't awful and that didn't leave me or abuse me, I'm willing to believe anything she says. Even if it doesn't completely make sense. I know in the back of my head that Tris is making sense, but I'll never admit that to her right now. She's being so sanctimonious right now, I don't think I'd listen to anything she has to say right now.

The lights from the Pire shine up ahead. It's almost time to jump.

"Fine," Tris growls at me. "I won't."

Then she jumps out of the train without another word. I follow behind her, but she runs away from me, back into the compound and I have no desire to follow.


	24. Chapter 24

I own nothing!

Chapter 24

I go to meet Tori and Harrison in the morning, only to hear about what happened to Marlene. Apparently she and two others were taken over by a simulation and Tris was there. The simulation demanded that a Divergent turn themselves into Erudite or more people would be killed through the simulation.

I know what that means. I know she's going to try to turn herself into Erudite to save lives.

The three of us move to the cafeteria where I find Tris sitting with Zeke and a broken Uriah. I haven't spoken to her since our fight on the train. Although I still have conflicted thoughts about the situation with Evelyn, I want nothing more than to have that relationship with my mother. Maybe it is clouding my judgment, or maybe her bias clouds hers.

We walk toward the three sitting at the table. When I look at Uriah, my heart breaks for him. He was friends with Marlene, then he loved her. He loved her for a long time before he finally got the nerve to tell her about it and now she's gone.

I give the group a sorrowful look and immediately turn my attention to Tris.

"Hello, Tris," I say in her ear.

"Hi."

I sit in the chair next to her and rest my arm on the back of the chair. I want to pull her to me and wrap her in my arms, but I don't. I sit next to her and look at her.

She refuses to look back at me. I lean in close and she is still trying not to look at me. When she finally does I can see the hurt and desire reflected in her eyes. It is exactly what I'm feeling and I hate feeling that I can't take comfort in her like I want to.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I'm all right?"

"No, I'm pretty sure you're not all right," I tell her. "I'm going to ask you not to make any decisions until we've talked about it."

I look into her eyes and can read her expression. It is full of pain and hurt. She's made the decision already, she just isn't going to admit to it.

"Until we've all talked about it, you mean, since it involves all of us," Uriah interjects. "I don't think anyone should turn themselves in."

"No one?" she asks shocked.

"No!" Uriah scowls. "I think we should attack back." He's hurt and his heart is broken.

"Yeah," Tris says in a defeated tone, "let's provoke the woman who can force half of this compound to kill themselves. That sounds like a great idea."

I'm not sure this tone is the best for her to have with him right now. I watch as his demeanor changes from hurt to fury instantly. He drinks the rest of the contents of his bottle before addressing her again. His eyes are bloodshot from drinking and probably crying. He looks defeated.

"Don't talk about it like that," he growls at her.

"I'm sorry," she says trying to smooth things over. "But you know I'm right. The best way to ensure that half of our faction doesn't die is to sacrifice one life."

Uriah doesn't say another word. He just looks down at his hands and tears start to slide silently down his cheeks.

"Tori, Harrison, and I decided to increase security. Hopefully if everyone is more aware of these attacks, we will be able to stop them," I explain. "If it doesn't work, then we will think about another solution. End of discussion."But no one is going to do anything yet. Okay?"

I say this like I actually think this is going to be the end of the story. Like I actually believe that she is going to listen to what I'm telling her now. I look at her with that last question. I want her to agree to do nothing right now. I raise my eyebrows at her and wait for her response.

Reluctantly and without making eye contact with me she says, "Okay."

XXX

After dinner I stand at the chasm trying to calm myself. Trying to find a way to fix things with Tris, with Dauntless, with everything.

I'm furious about everything that's happening. How can one person think they should have so much control over people's lives that she can destroy so many lives without even really trying. Jeanine has taken so many lives, just because she can and she shows no remorse for her actions. She actually truly believes that what she is doing is right.

I stand and let the noise of the chasm wash over me, when I see her walking across the Pit toward where my apartment is. I've since moved from that room, but it is still the place where I felt most at home. The place I felt safest, especially when she was there.

I follow behind her, keeping enough of a distance so she doesn't notice my presence. I want to see where she's going, and what she's planning.

I open the door after she's been in there for a few moments. She's sitting on my bed with my quilt to her face. When she hears me, her arms go limp and the blanket falls into her lap.

I lock my eyes with hers. I know she's planning on giving herself up, regardless of what I said.

"Don't be an idiot."

"An idiot?" she asks.

"You were lying. You said you wouldn't go to Erudite, and you were lying, and going to Erudite would make you an idiot. So don't."

She sets the blanket down next to her and gets up off of the bed.

"Don't try to make this simple. It's not. You know as well as I do that this is the right thing to do."

"You choose this moment to act like the Abnegation?" I say this so loud that my voice fills the room completely. Fury building in me, filling me to the boiling point. Why now? Why does she choose now to be selfless? "All that time you spent insisting that you were too selfish for them, and now, when your life is on the line, you've got to be a hero? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you? People died. They walked right off the edge of a building! And I can stop it from happening again!"

"You're too important to just… die." The emotion building inside of me. Why doesn't she see how important she is to me? Why doesn't she see that I can't do this without her, that I need her. I can't look at her now. I can't make eye contact or I'll break down.

"I'm not important. Everyone will do just fine without me."

Is she kidding? I won't. I'll die if something happens to her. Finally I speak the words that I've been afraid to say. "Who cares about everyone? What about me?"

That's it, the tears start to fall. I cover my face with my trembling hands, trying to keep the tears at bay, but it doesn't work. They freefall down my cheeks. I look toward her and she looks shocked at my words.

I stride across the room and pull her into me and press my lips to hers. I need to feel her next to me. I need her to feel my love and desire for her.

She places her hand on my chest and gently pushes me back. "You would be fine. Not at first. But you would move on, and do what you have to."

Her tears make tracks down her cheeks and her eyes are red from the hurt and pain that she feels.

I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her tightly against me. "That's a lie," I whisper before I kiss her again.

She doesn't back away from me this time. She pulls herself closer to me, standing on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around my neck. I can feel her small but strong body pressed against mine and all of the love and desire that I feel for her builds within me.

I run my hands from her cheeks down her body to her hips. Our kisses becoming more fervent as we melt into one another. She slides her hands under the hem of my shirt and wraps her arms around my back.

I kiss her harder and pull her to the bed with me. She looks at me when I sit and then presser her lips to mine again. My hands find the bare skin under her shirt as our kisses become more hurried. I need to feel her against me, I want to feel her body pressed against mine. I feel like this is the only way that I could feel like I'm alive.

I pull away from her for a moment and look into her eyes.

"Promise me," I whisper, "that you won't go. For me. Do this one thing for me."

She stares into my eyes. I plead with her to stay with me. For once let me take care of her and be strong.

"Okay," she says.

"Promise."

"I promise," she tells me and instantly I know she's lying to me. But I'm willing to take the lie right now.


	25. Chapter 25

I own nothing!

Chapter 25

I wrap my arms around her body and hold tightly. I'm not going to let her go. I'm going to keep her here with me, next to me for as long as it takes. She snuggles her head into my chest and presses her body next to me as I hold tighter. We lie silently together. Neither of us talks about what's happening or what's going to happen, or the fact that we both know that she was lying to me when she promised not to do anything. But if I can keep her here with me, she can't leave.

Soon I can feel myself drifting off into a contented sleep with her next to me. I try desperately to fight the exhaustion that is settling on me now. If I sleep, she'll leave and I know she will. If I sleep, she'll sacrifice herself. And now, just before sleep takes me, I know that if she leaves, if she breaks her promise, I'm going to follow her.

When I wake in the morning, she is nowhere to be found. Her shoes are gone, and so is the sweatshirt that I had been wearing last night. A final reminder of a time when we were happy, when we were safe.

I leave my room, angry that I didn't stay awake, angry that she lied. But I knew she was lying and I didn't call her out like I should have. I should have confronted her. Locked her up and not allowed her to leave.

I rush out of the room and into the Pit. I know she's long gone, but part of me hopes that I'm wrong.

As I make my way into the dining area, resolved to tell Tori and Harrison that I'll be leaving for Erudite immediately, Christina stops me.

"Four, Tris left this morning. She said she was going to visit Caleb in Abnegation, but I don't believe her."

"Neither do I," I say flatly.

"She was scaring me. She said I should find out about something that Marcus Eaton is hiding from everyone. She believed that I could get it out of him."

Not this again. She is insistent that he is hiding something. I scowl at Christina at the mention of my father's name.

"I know you don't believe her, Four. But she is positive and I think it also has something to do with her father. If you don't want to believe Marcus, you should at least try to believe her father. Do you know what her plan was?"

"I think she went to turn herself into the Erudite."

Christina looks shocked and tears immediately begin to fall. "It's all my fault. If I hadn't taken her to where Marlene, Hec, and the other girl were…"

I stare at her. I didn't know that Christina was the one that took her to the people that were under the simulation. Now I know why she was so insistent about going. She treated it like it was a personal invitation from Jeanine. That if she turned herself in, that she could stop the attacks.

"Christina, you had to know what she would do. You were her best friend. You had to know…"

"I swear, Four. I didn't know. I wanted to talk to her about it because I finally understood what she saw when she was confronted by Will with a gun while he was under the simulation. I finally understood how she must have felt having to make a choice between her friend and her life. I also understood how she felt losing everything after making that choice and why she tried to hide it. I should have trusted her. I should have been her friend and forgiven her."

I don't say anything. Much of Tris' problem has been that she doesn't trust the people around her, especially me. She doesn't trust me to take care of her, to make good decisions, but I, like Christina, have also not given her much reason to trust me. Now we are both going to have to live with the choices that she's made.

"Christina, it wasn't just you. Just help to keep everyone safe. You understand what is going on. I'm going to try to bring her back."

Now I know for sure that she's gone. She went and turned herself in and there was nothing I could do about it. But there is now. Now I can go, find her and find a way to bring her back.

I quickly walk to up to the Pire where Tori and Harrison will be waiting for me. We need to come up with a plan to get her back.

XXX

After speaking with Tori and Harrison, we decided that the best course of action was for me to go into Erudite and try to get her back. But we need to have more planned than just a rescue mission. If I get in there and make it seem like just a rescue mission, I'll be able to see what is happening within Erudite, find out who is wired for simulations, and try to find Jeanine's lab, which will be where the simulation data will be held.

"So, the plan is to find Erudite's central control rooms so that we know what to destroy when we invade. We have to make sure that we are able to disable the simulation and stop them from activating the Dauntless transmitters," Harrison says.

"The day after tomorrow you will turn yourself over to the Erudite. Do your best to make it seem like a suicide mission to be with Tris. Do your best to try to let her know what is happening and that she has to hold on until we can get there. According to insiders that we have in Erudite, her execution is scheduled for two weeks from now. Hopefully nothing happens that changes that date. I don't know if we can get this together any faster than two weeks," Tori says.

"I have it under control," I tell them both and I turn and walk out of the meeting room.

I return to my old apartment, to the last place that we were together. How could I have let this get so screwed up, let us fall so far from one another. We had barely begun living our life together. We had barely gotten to know one another beyond initiate and instructor and we were suddenly thrust into this mess.

I curl onto my bed, what could have been our bed and burry my face into the pillows that hold her smell. It's not like me to hold onto things like this, but right now I need to feel like there is something worth fighting for here. That she is worth the fight. I think back to the chasm, to our first kiss. To the train ride where she let go of her Abnegation for a while and showed me how much she wanted to be with me. I think about the our time spent in this room, how she told me about her fears and I helped her work through that fear by not pushing her.

Our time together had only just begun, but there is no doubt that she is the one that I want in my life. And now I resolve to get her back, no matter what it takes. She constantly reminds me about how much she loves me, now it's my turn to remember and remind her.

XXX

I wake the next morning and take the first train away from the Dauntless compound. The trip to Erudite is much faster than normal, of course I have all of these thoughts and fears flitting through my brain. Before I know it, I find myself walking up in front of Erudite to so what she did. To turn myself over to the beasts that have taken it upon themselves to turn our entire world upside down for their own amusement. It is infuriating actually.

When I walk into the compound, I'm immediately greeted by the butt end of a Dauntless traitor's gun. Blood streams down the side of my face from where he hit me. They take me into custody and lead me up toward where I'm assuming Jeanine will be waiting.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask. Not expecting a response but hoping that one of them will be stupid enough or arrogant enough to respond. Instead of a response, I get hit in the head with the barrel of the gun that was being held to the back of my head.

We arrive on the tenth floor and begin walking down the hall toward where I can only guess Jeanine will be waiting. As we round a bend, I'm shocked when I see her. Tris, being lead down the hall by… Peter.

"Tobias," she gasps.

She stops dead and stares at me with sadness. I can see her forming words that don't escape her mouth. I look down and continue down the hall toward her. Ten more steps and I'll be able to reach out and touch her.

Peter tries to push her forward, but she doesn't budge, she stands and stares at me sadly.

As I pass by her I grab her hand and squeeze it.

"What did you do?" she shouts. Tears forming in her eyes as she looks at me.

I turn to look at her and she throws herself toward me. The guards continue to push me but I slow my pace.

"What did you do?" she screams at me.

I turn toward her again and lock my gaze with hers, "You die, I die too. I asked you not to do this. You made your decision. These are the repercussions."

The guards continue to push me down the hall toward where I can only guess I'll see Jeanine. Just before we turn the bend in the hall, I hear a strangled sob come from Tris as the realization of what has happened hits her.

We continue to a rather plain office that holds only a desk and two chairs. Sitting at the desk is Jeanine Matthews, leader of Erudite.

"Tobias, it's so good to see you. I must tell you that I never expected to see you here once your little girl arrived. I thought you would come in here guns blazing, to try to get her out of here."

"No reason to."

"Well, well, well, now isn't this just going to be something. I can not only experiment on her, I can also experiment my simulations on you. Although your Divergence always seemed rather too weak to worry about. Of course you did beat my last simulation, so maybe I was wrong about you. I guess we will see."

I refuse to respond to her.


End file.
